THE

TWIN
IN S;

OR,

WHICH IS

WHICH?

IN THREE ACT S.

Altered from SHAKESPEARE'S COMEDY OF ERRORS. Br MR WOOD S.

ADVERTISEMENT.

HAKESPEARE'S Comedy of Errors has never obtained a rank on

thor. Without enumerating the various caufes that might be affigned of its indifferent reception, the editor contents himself with mentioning only one, as it explains the motive from which he undertook both the former and the present alteration:-The frequent repetition of fimilar blunders, which are occafioned by the likeness between the Antipholifes and Dromios, and are continued through five long acts, produces an intricacy that perplexes, and a fameness that tires, an audience. With a view to remedy thefe defects, the editor, a few years ago, reduced the comedy to three acts, and it was performed, as an after-piece, with much approbation; but as his veneration for the author made him retain too many of the fcenes, there still exifted in the comedy, when altered, too much of the confufion and uniformity of the original. He has therefore ventured to make further alterations; and flatters himself the piece, as it now ftands, will be confidered not an unacceptable addition to the lift of Theatrical Entertainments.

VOL. IV.

A

DRA

T

and DROMIO.

Firft MERCHANT.

HEREFORE give out you are of Epidamnum-
For by a law in force it is enacted,

If any ftranger, born in Syracufa,

Come to our port of Ephefus, he dies;
Unlefs, indeed, he be poffefs'd of wealth
Sufficient to discharge a heavy forfeiture.
'There is your money that I had to keep.

Ant. of Syr. Go, bear it to the Centaur where we hoft, And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee:

Get thee away.

Dro. of Syr. Many a man would take you at your word, And go indeed, having fo good a means.-[Exit Dromis. Ant. of Syr. A trufty villain, Sir, that very oft

Lightens my humour with his merry jests.

Mer. If't please you, Sir, I now will claim your
promife,

To truft me with that part of your adventures
Which yet I have not heard.

Ant. of Syr. -In Syracufa,

As I have told you, was my father born;

And

And, by the profp'rous voyages he made.
To Epidamnum, grew a wealthy merchant.
To share his happiness, he took a wife-
Who on a vifit to my father's friends
In Epidamnum, with him crofs'd the fea;
And there foon gave him, at a single birth,
Two fons-that fo refembled each the other,
They could not be diftinguifh'd.-Stranger till,
In the fame house, and at the self-fame hour,
A poor mean woman was delivered

Of fuch another burden-two male twins,
That, like my father's boys, (myfelf and brother)
Puzzled their parents to tell which was which.
1. Mer. 'Twas ftrange, indeed!

Ant.of Syr. Thefe did my father purchase of the woman, Defigning them attendants on his fons;

But foon returning home to Syracufa,

A tempeft rofe, that dash'd our bark in pieces.
My mother, brother, and his little fiave,
On a small raft the failors had prepar'd,
Were driven by the waves.

Upon another plank, my hapless father,
Myfelf, and th' other infant-twin were bound;
And being next day feen by friendly voyagers,
They fav'd, and brought us into Syracufa.-
At eighteen years I undertook to search
After my mother's and my brother's fate.
Five fummers have I rang'd in diftant climes,
And, coafting homeward, came to Ephefus,
In hopes to find them-But in vain I feek,
And feeking them, unhappy lofe myself.

1 Mer. I take an interest, Sir, in your misfortunes: I am now engag'd to certain friends on bufinefs; But foon again, at five o'clock, fo please you,

I'll meet with you upon the mart..

Ant. of Syr. Till then, farewell—

Enter Dromio of Ephefus.

[ Mer.exit

What now-how chance thou art return'd fo foon?

Droof E. Return'd fo foon! rather approach'd too late. The capon burns, the pig falls from the fpit,

The clock has ftrucken one by the town-clock-
My mistress made it two upon my cheek.

A 2

Ant.

Ant. of S. Thank me, Sir! For what?

Dro. of S. Marry, Sir, for this fomething that you gave me for nothing.

Ant. of S. Well,

Sir, learn to jeft in good time.

There's a time for all things.

Dro. of S. I durft have deny'd that, before you were fo choleric.

Ant. of S. But foft, who wafts us yonder?

Enter Adriana and Luciana.

Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholis, look ftrange and frownSome other miftrefs hath thy fweet afpects; I've loft thy heart-I am a flighted thingI am now not Adriana, nor thy wife! Ant. of S. What means all this?—

Wife! said she, Dromio?

Dro. of S. Yes, Sir, and I fuppofe the other's mine. Luc. Fie, brother, how the world is chang'd with you! When were you wont to use my fifter thus?

She fent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

Dro. of S. By me!

Adr. By thee-and didft thou not return, That he did buffet thee, and in his blows Deny'd me for his wife?

Ant.of S. Did you converfe, Sir, with this gentlewoman? Dro. of S. I, Sir?—I never faw her till this time. Ant. of S. Villain, thou lieft; for juft fuch words as her's Didft thou deliver me on this very spot.

Dro. of S. Sir, I never spoke with her in all my life! Ant. of S. How can fhe then thus call us by our names, Unless it be by infpiration?

Dro. of S. Yes, 'tis by conjuration.

Adr. How ill agrees it with your character
To counterfeit thus grofsly with your flave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood;
Fie, hufband, fie!-

Ant. of S. What error drives our eyes and ears amifs? What, was I marry'd to her in my fleep?

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, Nor fhall you leave me thus, Antipholis ;

I see you want to put a trick upon me.

Come, Sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate.-,
Hufband, I'll keep you to myfelf to-day,

[Leaning fondly upon him,

And

And punish you for feeming not to know me.

Luc. -Dromio, go bid the fervants (pread for dinner. Dro. of S. Yes, Madam, when I know where 'tis you lodge.

Adr. Sirrah, if any afk you for your mafter,
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter:
Come, fifter-Dromio, play the porter well.
Dr. of S. I'm to be porter, maiter, at the gate!
Adr. Come, come, my love.--

Luc. Brother, we dine too late.

[Exit Antipholis between Adriana and Luciana. Dro. of S. [lcoking after them.] This is the fairy-land. O fpight of fpights,

We furely are to dine with elves and sprights.
Well, if they give me not enchanted food,
I'll prove my courage and my ftomach good.

[Exit.

SCENE, The Street before the House of Antipholis of Ephesus. Enter Antipholis of Ephefus, Dromio of Ephefus, Angelo, and Balthazar.

Ant. of E. Good fignior Angelo, you must excufe us,
My wife is fhrewish when I keep not hours.
Say that I linger'd with you at your fhop,
To fee the making of the toy I spoke for.

But here's a drunken flave wou'd face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold."
Dro. of E. Indeed you did, Sir;

If my skin were parchment, and the blows you gave me were ink, your own hand-writing wou'd bear wit

nefs to it.

Ant. of E. Sirrah, you are an afs.

Dro. of E. Yes, 'tis plain I am a beast of burden.

Ant. of E. Gentlemen, come on

[Feeling his fhoulders. Iwith our cheer within

May anfwer my good will, and your good welcome.
Dromio, go on, and bid them let us in.

Dro. of E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian!
Dro. of S. [within.] Drone, malt-horfe, capon, cox-
comb, idiot!.

Doft thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'ft for fuch ftore-when one is one too many?—

Thou