Ay. Hum, Hum VAINLOVE. BELLMOUR reads. -That your Converfation will be much more agreeable, if you can counterfeit bis Habit to blind the Servants. Very good! Then I mult be difguifedWith all my Heart-- It adds a Gufto to an Amour; gives it the greater refemblance of Theft; and among us lewd Mortals, the deeper the Sin the fweeter. Frank, I'm amaz'd at thy good Nature. VAINLOVE. Faith I hate Love when 'tis forc'd upon a Man, as I do Wine-- And this Business is none of my feeking; I only hapned to be once or twice, where Latitia was the handfomeit Woman in Company, fo confequently apply'd my felf to her. And it feems he has taken me at my Word Had you been there, or any Body, thad been the fame. BELLMOUR. I wish I may fucceed as the fame. VAINLOVE. Never doubt it; for if the Spirit of Cuckoldom be once raised up in a Woman, the Devil can't lay it, till the bas don't. BELLMOUR. Erythee, what fort of Fellow is Fondlewife? VAINLOVE A kind of Mongrel Zealot, fometimes very precife and peevish; but I have Teen him pleafant enough in his way: Much addicted to Jealoulie, but more to Fondness: So that as he is often Jealous without a Caufe, he's as often fatisfied without Reason. BELLMOUR. A very even Temper, and fit for my Purpofe. I must get your Man Setter to provide my Disguise. B 4 VAIN VAINLOVE. Ay, you may take him for good and all if you will, for you have made him fit for no body else - Well BELLMOUR, You're going to vifit in return of Sylvia's Letter----Foor Rogue! Any Hour of the Day or Night will serve her. But do you know nothing of a new Rival there? VAINLOVE. Yes, Heartwell, that furly, old, pretended Woman-hater, thinks her Virtuous; that's one Reafon why I fail her: I would have her fret her felf out of Conceit with me, that the may entertain fome Thoughts of him. I know he visits her ev'ry Day. BELLMOUR. Yet rails on ftill, and thinks his Love unknown to us; a little time will fwell him fo, he must be forc'd to give it birth; and the Discovery muft needs be very pleasant from himself; to fee what Pains he will take, and how he will ftrain to be deliver'd of a Secret, when he has mifcarried of it already. VAINLOVE. Well, good Morrow, let's dine together; I'll meet at *the old Place. BELLMOUR. With all my Heart; it lies convenient for us to pay our Afternoon Services to our Miftreffes. I find I am damnably in Love, I'm fo uneafie for not having feen Belinda yesterday, VAINLOVE. But I faw my Araminta, yet am as impatient. SCENE SCENE II. BELLMOUR alone. BELLMOUR. WHY what a Cormorant in Love am I! who, not contented with the Slavery of honourable Love in one Place, and the Pleasure of enjoying some half a score Mistreffes of my own acquiring; must yet take Vainlove's Bufinefs upon my Hands, because it lay too heavy upon his: So am not only forc'd to lie with other Mens Wives for 'em, but muft alfo undertake the harder Task of obliging their Miftreffes.I must take up, or I fhall never hold out; Flesh and Blood cannot bear it always. I'M "M forry to fee this, Ned: Once a Man comes to bis Soli loquies I give him for gone. BELLMOUR. Sharper, I'm glad to fee thee. SHARPER. What, is Belinda cruel, that you are so thoughtful? BELLMOUR. No faith, not for that. But there's a Business of Confequence fall'n out to-day, that requires fome Confide ration. B5 SHAR SHARPER. Pr'ythee what mighty Bufinefs of Confequence can't thou have? BELLMOUR. Why you must know, 'tis a piece of Work toward the finishing of an Alderman; it feems I muft put the last hand to it, and dub him Cuckold, that he may be of equal Dignity with the reft of his Brethren: So I must beg Ben linda's Pardon, SHARPER. Faith e'en give her over for good and all; you can have no hopes of getting her for a Miftrefs; and fhe is too proud, too inconftant, too affected, and too witty, and too handfom for a Wife.. BELLMOUR. But fhe can't have too much Money There's twelve thousand Pound, Tom." 'Tis true the is exceffively foppish and affected, but in my Confcience I believe the Baggage loves me: For the never fpeaks well of me her felf, nor fuffers any Body elfe to rail at me. Then, as I told you, there's twelve thoufand Pound— Hum- -Why faith upon fecond Thoughts, fhe does not appear to be fo very affected neither — Give her her due, I think the Woman's a Woman, and that's all. As fuch I'm fure I shall like her; for the Devil take me if I don't love all the Sex. SHARPER And here comes one who fwears as heartily, he hates all the Sex. SCENE CHCARAGIMED KONI a SCENE IV. [To them] HEARTWELL. BELLMOUR. WHO, Heartwell! Ay, but he knows better things-- How How now George, where haft thou been fnarling odious Truths, and entertaining Company, like a Phyfician, with Difcourfe of their Difeafes and Infirmities? What fine Lady haft thou been putting out of Conceit with her felf, and perfwading that the Face fhe had been making all the Morning, was none of her own? for I know thou art as unmannerly and as unwelcome to a Woman, as a Looking. Glafs after the Small-Pox. HEARTWELL. I confess I have not been fneering fulfome Lyes and naufeo fawn fawning upon a little tawdry Whore, that will fawn upon me again, and entertain any Puppy that comes, like a Tumbler, with the fame Tricks over and over, for fuch I guess may have been your late Employment. BELLMOUR. Would thou hadst come a little fooner, Vainlove would have wrought thy Converfion, and been a Champion for the Caufe. HEARTWELL. What, has he been here? that's one of Love's AprilFools, is always upon fome Errand that's to no purpose, ever embarking in Adventures, yet never comes to Har bour. ९. SHARPER. That's becaufe be always fets out in foul Weather, loves to |