Pagina-afbeeldingen
PDF
ePub
[ocr errors]

mean

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

“ Now,

" anywhere my anti-stylograph pen-filler? I general appearance. He was watching have mislaid or lost it. You know what I my proceedings with great curiosity.

the apparatus for injecting into it "Well, master,” said he, “I reckon its supply of ink?"

you've a queer sort of a hinstrument “ No, sir," I answered; “I have not." ihere? What be that now? You be a Then I went out. I walked away, my doctor, I suppose ?” head down, and both hands in my empty “ What else could I be?" I asked ironi. pockets. I had lost my salary, iny two cally. guineas a week — the fourteen guineas « And what be that queer sort of a through Tommy.

thing in your hand ?" Then the gall in my heart mounted. I “A surgical instrument, of course." ground my teeth; my eyes sparkled with And what be that there powder in the rage; I clenched my fists in my pockets; t'other hand ? " I cast myself into the hedge, and glower. “ That! Oh, that is the best possible ing before me into the glaring, dusty road, of medicines, the very elixir of life, a comcursed Tommy.

pound of the rarest and most valuable of At that moment my eye rested on some. all condiments. Its scientific name is Ton. thing glittering before me on the road : it d'apameibomenos . prosepbepodas - okus. flashed in the sun like glass. I paid no Achilles." attention to it at first, but its light at- The farmer was immensely impressed tracted my curiosity, and presently I with the words - a line of the Iliad wbich stooped to see what it was. I picked up rose uncalled for to my lips. a little glass vessel, with a nozzle at one “And now," he said, "might I make so end of the tube, and an india-rubber re- bold as to ask what that medicine is good ceiver at the other. I knew at once what for?it was — - the lost filler of the anti-stylo- • Every malady man is heir to. We all graph pen.

come to it at last, and the sooner the bet. Then the thought rushed scalding ter.' through my brain, “ Under the circum. " I'm bad in my liver,” said he. stances, what would Toimy do? Would if I may take the liberty to ask, does it he not at once return to the governor, and touch the liver?” say to him, 'Sir, you discharged me be- Touch the liver !” laughed 1, with cause I did my duty; now I heap coals bitterness in my tone ; "it touches it more of fire on your beadhe for your evil core strongly than calomelor podophyllin.” turn good: is of your

swallowed? anti-stylographic pen, which you had lost, “ Well, I can't but say that I've eaten a but I have had the felicity to find'?lot of it; but that is not the way I would

Then I sprang up and said, “ I will not administer it." do it. I renounce you, Tommy. I will be May I - you'll excuse the freedom, led by you no more.”

but I do suffer shocking of the liver Pacified by having formed this resolu- may I further inquire how you would ad. tion, I sat down in the hedge again. I minister it?" had no purpose where to go or what to “I would throw it in people's eyes," do. I had no money in my pocket. My said I savagely. mother's property, my one pound four “Dear heart alive! and what good shillings and threepence three farthings, would that do?" had all been swindled out of me by Tom- “Now, look you here,” I said. my. Tommy bad cleaned me out con- in a bitter and scornful mood. My mispletely. I drew forth my pockets and let fortunes had made me so. I was in no them bang on either side of my thighs, merciful mood, — I had had no mercy limp evidences against Tommy.

shown to me. I was in a reckless mood, Then, hardly knowing what I did, I - my idols were broken, I had no more filled my left palın with dust out of the faith. “ Now, attend to me. What is the road, and amused myself with charging centre and seat of all sensation and life? the little ink-syringe with it, and driving Is it not the head? You see with your it forth again in a cloud, by compressing head, you taste, you smell, you hear, you the india-rubber vessel at the end. I think with your head. Your head is the thought of nothing all the time, and ob- focus of all your powers, – it is to you served pothing but this toy, till I was what the root is to the flower; and Aris. roused by a voice addressing me, and totle well said that man is an inverted then I looked up. Opposite me stood a plant. His bulb is upwards, and his farmer, as I conjectured by his dress and branches downwards. if you desire the

I was

1

health of a plant, you nurture the root,

D :

R. ROBERT FLOPJOHN, M.C.S., Salayou give that proper dressing. So, if a man is ill, it is trilling to attack his malady perimental Chemistry, Leyden, is visiting this through the stomach, or with foot-baths, town for a few days only. He is in possession poultices, embrocations. No, my, good by a concatenation of evidence at a conclusion

of a panacea for all maladies, having arrived man, you must operate on the head; and which has escaped all empirics. Dr. R. F. as the brain is the core of the head, you has practised for a number of years in the inust strike at that, and the readiest way principal towns of the Continent, and tried his to reach the brain is through the eye. specific on a number of complicated cases, and Are you aware that a nerve, called the has never known it to fail. In offering this new optic nerve, passes from the back of the - yet world-old-remedy to the public, it is not eye to the brain, and at once conveys to it like bringing out an untried article. For over what affects the organ of vision? 'I dare twenty-five years it has been put to the severest say you are not aware of that, and yet that test of experience. Fully understanding its is known to every medical student, — 1 ingredients, Dr. R. F. is prepared to say that

not only will no injurious results follow, but may say, to every educated individual.

that absolute success must ensue. He has Strange to relate, this has been univer. never known it to fail to either relieve or cure sally known; and yet, entangled in erro- the disease for which it was taken. He has neous traditions, the faculty have failed letters from all parts of Great Britain and Ireto act on their knowledge. Here it is land, Germany, France, Belgium, Holland, that my system comes in to overturn all Spain, Portugal, Italy, Russia, Turkey, and exploded doctrines of medicine. I do not Greece, from those that have been cured of give baths, poultices, embrocations, pow. different complaints, which he will be proud ders, pills, elixirs, draughts. I go direct to show to any one who desires to see them. to the brain through the eye.

I warrant

Consultation from 10 A.M. to 5 P.M., and again

from 6 P.M. to 9 P.M. you, my medicine and my treatment are infallible.”

It was really amazing to see how my The farmer was greatly impressed. door was besieged with persons desirous

“Dang it!” said be, "I wish you would of having dust thrown in their eyes after throw your dust into my eyes. I don't this advertisement had circulated. Money mind paying you for it. What is you poured in. I was engaged in blowing charge?”

dust into the eyes of my patients all day “Five-and six for such as you," I said. and till late at night. IO P.M. was too late “ The quality a guinea.” He drew to receive; 9 P.M. too late to knock off forth his purse at once and handed me work. Patients of all classes came to me. the money.

Some paid guineas, some half.guineas, “ There now," said he, “ blow away.” most five-and-sixpence. I was now easy I sent a puff of dust into his eyes. as to my future: it was secured.

He applied his handkerchief to them, secured a week after I had trampled on and then said, shaking himself, “Dang Tommy. it! I believe you are right. I feel easier As time passed, and I found that I had in my liver already. There is my old more patients than I could attend to, I woman, she's bad with lumbagie. Now, extended my operations. I advertised in do'ee think you could do her an improve every country paper I could hear of. I ment?"

spent hundreds of pounds in advertiseTry me,” said 1.

ments, and every hundred I spent thus, “Well, I will,” he said. “Come along. brought me in ten per cent. that is, a It's not far off to our place, and if I might thousand pounds. Of course I could not make so bold as to ask you to take a bite attend to all who sought an interview. I of dinner with us, I'd take it kindly. therefore did up little parcels of dust in Here's another five-and-six, paid afore. blue, red, and gold paper. I had them hand for the old lady; and if she is better, stamped as quack medicines, and sold dang it! in a day or two we'll have you them at 25. Ill. per packet. The injector throw your dust in our eyes again.” I sold separate at 5s.

Ten minutes after I had deserted the But even this did not satisfy me. I paths of Tommy, I bad balf a guinea in announced that I would give away a my pocket.

packet to every one who would apply to After I had puffed dust into the eyes of me gratis. I put this advertisement in the farmer's wife, and promised to call something like three hundred newspapers, again, I hastened to the office of the prin- and the result was that applications poured cipal local newspaper and inserted an ad. in to me from every quarter. I am afraid vertisement:

to say how many thousand packets of

7

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

It was

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

66

с

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

common road-dust I thus distributed free “My child was suffering from the thrush. I of charge. With each packet I enclosed administered a few of your powders with such a printed form, to the effect that though an unpronounceable name, and a wonderful the powder was given gratis, yet the cure has been effected. I would not be withnecessary apparatus for its injection into out them in the house for worlds.” the eyes could not be given away without These will suffice; they are taken at a small charge of five shillings to cover random from a vast pile of similar letters. the outlay of its manufacture. These Indeed every post brings me in recogni. little squirts of glass and india.rubber cost tions of the wonderful results that have me three-halfpence each, of the manufac- followed on the throwing of dust into turer. I know that I sold thirty-six hur people's eyes. dred of them, which alone brought in You might suppose that those who had £900, less their cost, which was £22, 1os.; once tried my remedy and found it to fail, so that the net profit I made was £877, would have given it up in disgust. No 1os. After that I had numerous orders such thing. They went on with it willi for packets of eye-dust. On an average I unshaken creduliiy, till laid hold of by sold five to each syringe; and that, at 25. some other quack. itd. each, amounted to £1912, 1os. By I was not, however, quite easy in mind visits and personal attendance on cases I that the nature of my specific would not made as much as £25 per week, or £1300 be found out and my method “blown." I per annum. That made per annum,

therefore cast about for a more durable

foundation than common road-dust on Sale of squirts,

£877 10 dust,

which to rear the fabric of my fortunes.

1912 10 Professional attendance,

1300

There was an ugly lady who was still

an old maid, very rich, who suffered from

£4090 0 a complication of imaginary disorders. I I have not deducted the cost of advertis. attended her for some time, and blew a

At ing and printing, nor of the red, blue, and great amount of dust into her eyes.

last I proposed to her, and she became gold paper in which I wrapped up the dust, 'nor of the sealing.wax impressed her fortune. I have no love for her ;

my wife, and made me absolute master of with my seal (without which none was indeed her presence inspires me with disgenuine). Roughly calculated, throwing gust. This, however, I do not let her dust in folk's eyes brought me in an

I still blow dust into her eyes, as I annual income of £3500. But the most extraordinary feature of find that the secret of success in this

do into the eyes of all the world; and I the case was, that I received testimonials world consists in maintaining the outward as to the efficacy of my remedy from all demeanor and expressing the sentiments quarters, without any solicitation. I sub. join a few

- as samples:

of Tommy, but modelling the conduct

upon the principles of Harry. Case 1. – J. B. O'Kelly of Gormanstown, Ireland, says : “I have suffered from rheumatism for years. I expected to be in bed the last attack five or six weeks as usual. The Tond'apameibomenos-prosephe-podas-okus-Achil

From The Quarterly Review. les powder soon eased my pain, particularly in

THE NATURE OF DEMOCRACY.. the back; I am now able to go about the house

MONSIEUR EDMOND SCHERER, the as usual."

Case 2. — Hypolite Alphonse d'Aurelle of author of the powerful and widely circuSauveterre writes: "I have been affected for lated pamphlet which we have placed at eighteen months with acute headache, which the head of this article, is well known to had quite incapacitated me from work. I am large numbers of cultivated Englishmen now, thanks to the application of five of your as one of the most intelligent and judi. eye-powders, entirely free from pain, and ablecious, and one of the best instructed, of to return to my business."

French critical writers. He is remarkable Case 3. — Henry Walker of Bristol says:

not only for his knowledge of English lit“ The eye-powders have completely cured my chilblains. I have been a martyr to this dis

1. La Démocratie et la France. Etudes par Edtressing complaint every winter since I was a mond Scherer, Sénateur. Paris, 1883. child. The chilblains form on hands, feet, 2. Toward's Democracy. Manchester and London, ears, and, most distressing of all, on the point

1883,

3. The Federal and State Constitutions, Colonial of my nose. Since I have used your eye-dust, charters, and other Organic Laws of the United my chilblains have entirely disappeared.” States. Parts I. and 11. (quarto). Second Edition.

Case 4. — A lady from Liverpool writes : | Washington Government Printing Office, 1878.

see.

a very few

:

[ocr errors]

66

con

erature, but for his singular sympathy | tual circulating medium was base from with its spirit. But M. Scherer is not the first; another was once good coin, but solely a man of letters. He is an experi- it is clipped and worn on all sides; anenced and observant politician. If the other consists of mere tokens which, like color of his political opinions has to be the English balf-sovereign of the future, given, be must be classed as a Republican. are merely called by an old name, because He is not a Legitimist, nor an Orleanist, there is a conventional understanding por a Bonapartist, under disguise. He that it sball still be used. It is urgently did not accept the republican form of necessary to rate all this currency at its government as a merely provisional ar- true value; and, as regards a part of it, rangement, unavoidable in the existing this was done once for all by Sir J. F. circumstances of France. He thought Stephen, in his admirable volume on that the establishment of a republic was Liberty, Fraternity, and Equality.” But inevitable, and that the experiment should the political smashers are constantly at be honestly tried, and tried out to the end. work, and their dupes are perpetually mul. When the National Assembly, having tiplying, while there is by no means a constructed the new Constitution, pro- corresponding activity in' applying the ceeded under its provisions to the election proper tests to all this spurious manufacof senators for life in 1875, M. Scherer iure. We Englishmen pass on the Con. was one of the candidates of the left cen- tinent as masters of the art of governtre for these seats, and he was chosen by ment; yet it may be doubted whether, a considerable majority. From the point even among us, the science, which corre. of view thus obtained, he has surveyed sponds to the art, is not very much in the French politics for nearly ten years, and condition of political economy before the picture which he draws of republican Adam Smith took it in hand. In France government in actual operation is melan. the condition of political thought is far choly to the last degree. Englishmen on worse. Englishmen abandon a political the whole viewed with strong disapproval dogma when it has led to practical disas. the attempt of the Duc de Broglie's gov-ter; but no Frenchman was ever ernment to dragoon the French electorate verted, or even affected, by a demonstrainto returning a majority resembling that tion that a government or an institution, which had controlled the National Assem. which he abstractedly prefers, has worked bly, and the complacency with which they badly in practice. The nation is so sin. saw its defeat may have blinded them to cerely and so naturally at the mercy of all the true results of an experiment in gov. abstractions and generalizations, that it ernment, which was for the first time left can only be influenced by a successful to its natural course by Marshal Mac- attack on them. Mahon's resignation of the presidency of M. Scherer, so far as our knowledge the French republic. We shall presently extends, has been the first French writer quote a portion of M. Scherer's account to bring into clear light a truth of the of the methods by which the French po- greatest simplicity, which, nevertheless, litical system is made to discharge the in modern Continental politics is the be. duties of government; but, ineantime, the ginning of wisdom. His subject is de. greatest merit of his pamphlet does not inocracy, and he affirms that democracy seem to us to lie in its exposure of the is nothing but a form of government.* servility of the deputies to the electoral There is no word about which a denser committees, or of the public extravagance mist of vague language, and a larger heap by which their support is purchased. It of loose metaphors, las collected. Yet, lies rather in M. Scherer's examination of although democracy does signify somecertain vague, abstract propositions, which thing indeterminate, there is nothing are commonly accepted without question vague about it. It is simply and solely a by the Republican politicians of France, form of government. It is the govern. and indeed of the whole Continent. Inment of the State by the many, as opour day, when the extension of popular posed, according to the old Greek analy. government is throwing all the older po sis, to its government by the few, and to litical ideas into utter confusion, a man of its government by one. The border be. ability can hardly render a higher service tween the few and the many, and again to his country, than by the analysis and between the varieties of the many, is correction of the assumptions which pass nceessarily indeterminate; but democra. from mind to mind in the multitude, with: cy not the less remains a mere form of out inspiring a doubt of their truth and genuineness. Some part of this intellec

* Scherer, p. 3.

government; and, inasmuch as of these viduals, the gods are said to love those forms the most definite and determinate who die young; but nobody has ventured is monarchy — the government of the to make such an assertion of States. The State by one person – democracy is most prayers of nations to Heaven have been, accurately described as inverted monar- from the earliest ages, for long national chy. And this description answers to life, life from generation to generation, the actual historical process by which the life prolonged far beyond that of children's great modern republics have been ormed. children, life like that of the everlasting Villari * has shown that the organized hills. The historian will sometimes speak modern State was first constituted in of governments distinguished for the lofti. Italy. It grew, not out of the mediæval ness of their aims, and the brilliancy, of republican municipalities, which had noth- the talents which they called forth, but ing in common with modern government, doomed to an existence all too brief. The but out of that most ill-famed of all politi- compliment is in reality a paradox, for in cal systems, the Italian tyranny. The matters of government all objects are vain celebrated Italian statecraft, spread all and all talents wasted, when they fail to over Europe by Italian statesmen, who secure national durability. One might as were generally ecclesiastics, was applied well eulogize a physician for the assiduity to France by Cardinal Mazarin and his of his attendance and the scientific beauty pupil, Louis XIV.; and out of the contact of his treatment, when the patient has of this new science with an administra- died under his care. Next perhaps to the tive system in complete disorder, there paramount duty of maintaining national sprang monarchical France. The succes existence, comes the obligation incumbent sive French republics have been nothing on democracies, as on all governments, of but the later French monarchy, upside securing the national greatness and dig. down. Similarly, the constitutions and nity. Loss of territory, loss of authority, the legal systems of the several North loss of general respect, loss of self-respect, American States, and of the United States, may be unavoidable evils, but they are would be wholly unintelligible to anybody terrible evils, judged by the pains they who did not know that ihe ancestors of inflict and the elevation of the minds by the Anglo-Americans had once lived un which these pains are felt; and the gov. der a king, himself the representative of ernment which fails to provide a sufficient older kings infinitely more autocratic, and supply of generals and statesmen, of sol. who had not observed that throughout diers and administrators, for the preventhese bodies of law and plans of govern- tion and cure of these evils, is a government the people had simply been put into ment which has miscarried. It will also the king's seat, occasionally filling it with have miscarried, if it cannot command some awkwardness. The advanced Radi- certain qualities which are essential to the cal politician of our day would seem to success of national action. In all their have an impression that democracy differs relations with one another (and this is a from monarchy in essence. There can be fundamental assumption of international no grosser mistake than this, and 'none law) States must act as individual men. more fertile of further delusions. Democ-The defects which are defects in individ. racy, the government of the common. ual men, and perhaps venial defects, are wealth by a numerous but indeterminate faults in States, and generally faults of portion of the community taking the place the extremest gravity. In all war and all of the monarch, has exactly the same con- diplomacy, in every part of foreign policy, ditions to satisfy as monarchy; it has the caprice, wilfulness, loss of self-command, same functions to discharge, though it timidity, temerity, inconsistency, indedischarges them through different organs. cency, and coarseness, are weaknesses The tests of success in the performance which rise to the level of destructive of the necessary and natural duties of a vices; and if democracy is more liable to government are precisely the same in both them than are other forms of government,

it is to that extent inferior to them. It is Thus, in the very first place, democracy, better for a nation, according to an En. like monarchy, like aristocracy, like any glish prelate, to be free than to be sober. other government, must preserve the na. If the choice has to be made, and if there tional existence. The first necessity of a is any real connection between democracy State is that it should be durable. Among and liberty, it is better to remain a nation mankind regarded as assemblages of indi- capable of displaying the virtues of a na.

tion than even to be free. * Villari, Machiavelli, i. 15, 36, 37.

If we turn from the foreign to the do

cases.

« VorigeDoorgaan »