to say

sepse with an organ, the ear, and the olfac signed them does not seem destined to tory sense with an organ, the nose, and suspend them. the sense of sight with an organ, the eye, When I left Mr. Clodd's I reviewed my so she has fashioned an organ for the conduct; and then I felt that I had acted reception of moral impressions, connected throughout in the conscientious spirit of by a nerve with the brain. She has de Tommy. I had striven to do good to veloped this organ into some prominence, these wretches, and I had striven to do no doubt to show how priinary and impor- my duty, and to do it thoroughly. The tant the inoral sense is. She has with result was my dismissal, with four shil. drawn from it all arteries, and has in lings and threepence three farthings in vested it in a delicate network of highly my pocket. Now, had I been Harry, how sepsitive nerves, to make it serve much different would have been my conduct, as the drum to the ear. The waves of how different my situation! I would have sound beat on this latter and resolve winked at the boys' misconduct, excused themselves into ideas in the brain; so their mischievous pranks, allowed them precisely the pulsations of the cane on this to shirk lessons, praised their gallant spir. other organ are rapidly transformed into a its to the father and mother, assured them moral idea, and as such impress itself on that genius lurked behind all their exuthe mind.

berant play of spirit, allowed them to go I tried very hard to do my duty. I tried on in their brutal pursuits unreproved, to get these boys to study. I tried to lead without an effort to elevate them, have them to look to higher things than pig-killo reported their sallies of wit to their paring and rat-hunting. I tried to infuse ents; and I would have had my salary into them a sense of honor. But I found raised, my position in the house secured, io them none of the material of which the and a future opened to me among the Tommies are made.

married yeomen's daughters who freI was drawing my salary, and doing quented the place. nothing for it. I had not got these 'boys On leaving Mr. Clodd's I was appointed

" horse" instead of “oss,” or to master to the parochial school, which was use pocket-handkerchiefs instead of the managed by a board or committee, and back of their hands. At length the cli- supported by a voluntary rate. Some of max arrived. On the fifth November the farmers on the board took my part these urchins made a Guy Fawkes, which against the Clodds, of whom they were was intended to bear, and did bear, a strik-envious; and so, out of spite to the Clodds, ing likeness to myself. It could hardly and because I could be secured cheap, do other, as it was invested in my new gave me the vacant situation. suit of clothes, not yet paid for. What When offered the school, I hesitated with the fireworks and the mud with about accepting it. It was not that my which Guy was pelted, and the general pride suffered; it was that I misdoubted rough usage it received, iny best Sunday my powers. My self-confidence had resuit of clothes was utterly ruined. I told ceived a rude shock in the house of the Mr. Clodd plainly that I would no longer Clodds. I had believed firmly bitherto in teach such unruly cubs as his sons, and moral suasion, and had disapproved of I left the situation. As a man of honor I corporal punishment. My views on this first paid the tailor for the spoilt suit, and point were disturbed. You can make a tben found myself with four shillings and racer run with a word of praise and a pat, tbreepence three farthings in my pocket. but not a donkey. I had had to do with a

I received no thanks for my pains, no well-bred youth — young De Vaudville – recognition that I had done my utmost. and had managed him with perfect sucThe blame was thrown on my head. Icess. I had tried the Clodds, and had did not understand the temperament of failed. Should I succeed with children of the boys; I made no allowances for their a still lower_class? My diffidence, and exuberant vitality; I was exacting, stiff, my strong Tommeian sense of honor, and ungenial. I felt that these wretched forced me to accept the mastership condilouts must come to bad ends; they were tionally, My tenure of the post was to be the raw clay out of which the villanous terminable at the end of the quarter, withHarries are moulded. I have lived to out notice on either side. I felt that, see them grow up. My predictions have should I fail, I would be unable to connot been realized. They are now rough, tinue in the situation for three months sporting young men, with good incomes, more with justice to the children, the com. farming good estates, and farming them mittee, and myself. well; and the gallows to which I bad con- I found the school in a neglected and utterly unsatisfactory condition. The pu: system of copy-book writing in vogue. pil-teacher and the late master had played Each child was required to make a copy into each other's hands, giving each other in his best writing every week, and show half-holidays alternately on market-days, it to the parents; but these copies were coming unpunctually in the mornings, and in reality done for them by the master, cutting the hours short in the afternoons, assisted by the pupil-teacher and monispending their time together gossiping in tors. 1 insisted on the children writing

. I he class-room, leaving the classes under the own copies; whether bad or good, the charge of scholars. This I stopped: the example of peomanship should be gen. The result was, that I made an enemy of uine. Soon after, I heard from members the pupil-teacher, and he went about of the board that a general complaint had among his friends and acquaintances mak- been made of the falling off in the writing ing complaints, and stirring up a party of the scholars. It was evident that in against me.

this respect the standard of excellence 'I discovered that several of the chil. was deteriorating, and it was conjectured dren did more scratching than scribbling. that in other respects the pupils were Thereupon I laid in a supply of carbolic likewise going back. I was requested to soap, at my own expense, and a fine-tooth devote myself particularly to the improve. comb, and began operations with vigor. ment of the writing of the school, What a storm this raised! The parents It is well known that the scale of the of the urchins I had combed and car. government grant to a school is deterbolized came to me, livid with fury, and mined to a large extent by attendances. I dared me to touch their children's heads was therefore most scrupulous to mark again. Those with the dirtiest brats were these and the absences in accordance with the most indignant. Never before had it fact. Indeed one or two of the board were been insinuated that their little ones were detailed to call occasionally and check my not so clean that you might have made a entries. I found that my scrupulousness meal off them. Why were they to be gave dissatisfaction. If a child attended combed and carbolized, whilst the sons half a day, I might surely stretch a point and daughters of farmers were left unmo. and make it a whole attendance. When lested? They were as good as others, the weather was bad, some allowance and as clean as those who stuck them- must be made for that, and the children selves up to be their betters. Several not deprived of a mark when it was pracchildren were withdrawn from the school tically impossible for them to attend; because of my efforts to make their heads besides – and here lay the sting – I was clean. Cleanliness, says the proverb, is adding a penny to the rates by my nicety next to godliness. At all events, if I in this matter, and was not considering might not make the children clean, I might either the pockets of the ratepayers or my make them godly, I thought. So I turned own, as half the grant would be allowed my attention in that direction.

the master. I was pained to hear the ribald language I now resolved to devote myself to the used in the playground by the boys. Nor fulfilment of the educational departinent was the ribaldry, confined to words. 1 requisitions with all my earnestness. I caught some of the worst offenders, and soon found that to do so was to commit gave them a solemn lecture before the the greatest injustice of all, for I would entire school on the use of unseemly lan. force on the clever and neglect the stupid; guage, and the obligations they lay under I would cultivate the few at the expense of refraining their tongues from the use of the many. I found, however, that this of words improper and profane. Several was likely to gratify the inspector and parents took this up. They complained obtain the largest grant, and that the to the board that I gave religious instruc- greater the wrong done to the bulk of the tion out of the half-hour limited to such scholars, the greater the satisfaction given teaching by the rules hung up in the at Whitehall. I was too conscientious to schoolroom, and I was rather sharply do this, which would have gained me the taken to task by the farmers for what I approval of the ospector and the support had done, as the school was strictly un- of the board. sectarian in its teaching. So I was not There was a poor old widow who lived allowed to make the pupils committed to near the school, half blind, nearly wholly me either cleanly or godly. I would try deaf, crippled with rheumatism, living only to teach them the strictly secular learning on the parish half crown and a loaf, and thoroughly.

the sale of a few eggs and poultry she I soon found that there was a rotten reared. She had nearly white hair; the cataract in her eyes made them blear, and capable of doing so! As if in her blind. gave a vacant expression to her face. ness she could find out the culprits !) The How the unfortunate creature managed to laws of England did not encourage Quixlive through the winter was a wonder to otic interference in behalf of the old, in. me, as she was too poor to be able to firm, and poor; they discouraged it in afford fuel, and too blind to collect sticks. every way. There could be no doubt that This unfortunate creature was the object I had acied in a manner wholly unjustifiof mockery to the ill-conditioned boys of|able and illegal. The bench, therefore, the school, who played on her numerous on mature deliberation, had resolved to practical jokes. At one time they stole fine me £2 for each assault, and costs; her eggs and sucked them, at another they that amounted to £10, 75. 6d. I paid the pelted and killed her goslings. They money. I had that morning received my carried away her little winter siore of fire- discharge from the school committee, and wood to make their Guy Fawkes bonfire. my salary for the quarter. I paid the They pelted her with snowballs. One day fine, and found that I was left with 31d. they laid a noose on the ground before in my pocket. her, and when she unwittingly put her

As I walked away, I reviewed my constick into the loop, they pulled it, tight- duct. In all I had done, I had followed ened the noose about the staff and the dictates of conscience. I had tried to whipped it out of her hand, so that she be honorable, truthful, and to do good. I fell on her face in the road, which was had been a Tommy in that situation. newly metalled. The aged woman was Would Harry have tried to make the dirty unable to rise without assistance, and children clean and the ribald children then it was found that her forehead was godly? Would he have eschewed tricks, cut and bleeding, and that she had broken savoring of dishonesty, towards parents her remaining teeth.

and board? Would he have interfered to I discovered the authors of this wanton protect the old widow? Would he not piece of wickedness, and gave them a rather have shut his eyes and passed by good hiding. My blood boiled with in on the other side ? I was sure of it; and dignation. There were five boys con. I was sure also that he would have been cerned in the matter — the same who had a favorite with the parents, would have killed her goslings in the spring and bad ingratiated himself into the good-will of stolen her firewood in November.

the committee, would have obtained a That settled matters.

glowing report from the inspector, and a The offence had been committed out of large grant from Whitehall. I was quite school hours and out of school bounds. sure also that he would never have been I had no jurisdiction over the boys when bad up before the magistrates for the prothey left the precincts of the school. Itection of the feeble and helpless, and was summoned by all the parents of the would not have been dismissed his post boys I had chastised, and had to appear with ignominy. No! he would never have before the magistrates in the petty ses. taken the post with the stipulation that it sions. I was unable to obtain an advo- should be “on trial ;” and if he had been cate, being without the means of paying required to leave it, would have walked for one.

The plaintiffs were ably repre. away with a quarter's unearned salary in sented by local solicitors. A harrowing his pocket, and not, like me, with threepicture was painted of my ferocity, and of pence three farthings! the tortures to which I had subjected the No! Harry, on resigning his "sphere boys. The condition of the parts of their of usefulness, where he had discharged person operated upon was described his duties with such exemplary faithfulgraphically, and very bighly charged with ness as to win the admiration of all,” color.

would have been presented with an elecI defended myself to the best of my tro-plate cruet-stand by the rector, a timeability. The magistrates then pronounced piece by the committee, and balf-a-dozen sentence. The chairman said that the spoons and forks by the parents. cases were proved against me; that there The only person who at all favored me was no doubt I had exceeded my powers, was the rector, and only in a timid and and had acted with injudicious and intem- vacillating manner. The rector was one perate violence.

The laws of England of those typical parsons who either have were not framed for the protection of the no opinions of their own, or who, having weak and helpless. The old woman, if opinions, have not the courage to stand aggrieved, was able to prosecute those by them. He was admirable at hedging. who had wronged her. (As if she was He never made a statement without hedg.

I was

ing it; never offered an opinion without , he would have transcribed all the vapid, saddling it with a doubt; never tendered inflated stuff, and sniggered over it as he a suggestion without knocking away its wrote, and have earned the five pounds. legs. He even ventured to address the The next situation in which I found my. school board in


favor. "He believed self was that of clerk to an architect, who a high-principled and excellent was related to my late dear father in a young man, but rash and injudicious ; that round-about way, and who took me partly I always strove to do my duty, but mis out of charity. He offered me thirty took the direction in which it ran; that I shillings a week, and promised to increase must have learned experience by the past, my pay after six months, should I suit but that it had been at the cost of the him. He hinted as much as that, as he school; that it would be hard to find an- bad no sons of his own, if I took to the other to take my place so painstaking and business and made myself useful and so conscientious, but that the attempt agreeable, he might eventually receive me must be made,” etc. etc. etc., pro and con into partnership. His profession was so exactly balanced as to leave the matter bringing him in about five hundred a year, exactly where he had found it.

taking one year with another. The rector was about to publish two I was sent by the architect to supervise volumes of his sermons, and he asked of the execution of his designs in the erecme to make clean copies of them for the tion of a mansion. The works were con. press, as his own writing resembled the tracted for. I was to be paid two guideas scrawl of a spider that had tumbled into a week by the gentleman for whom the an inkpot, and was drying bis legs on the house was to be erected, to see that the paper. He undertook to pay me a shil. specifications of the architect were carried ling a sermon for my transcript. There out. This was arranged between the gen. were a hundred in all; that would bring tleman and iny superior. I had the plans me in just five pounds.

and the specifications as my guide. I Flushed with the prospect of making soon found that the latter were not being so much money, and gaining simul- complied with. First, the earth was to be taneously so much spiritual profit, I set taken out to the depth of four feet for vigorously to work on the manuscript. foundations. I measured, and found the

I soon found that it was impossible for depth nowhere exceed three feet. me to transcribe the discourses verbatim. plained to the gauger. He wipked, and They were full of inanities, exaggerations, said, “I see ; you want greasing. Here confusion of metaphors, non sequiturs, are two guineas. Leave us alonė. Talk and grammatical errors. As I made my to the governor; he knows all about it.” copy I cut out the inanities, toned down I found that it was stipulated that the the exaggerations, reduced the metaphors, mortar should be made of one load of lime supplied the deficiencies in the argu- to two of sand. The proportions used by ments, and corrected the grammar. After the mason were, one load of lime to three I had treated four of the sermons in this of earth, and none of sand. manner, I received a call from the rector. I remonstrated indignantly, and reHe looked flushed and moist. His voiceceived as answer, “ The governor knows and hand shook. His manner was abrupt. all about it, and has been greased. But He told me that he had engaged my ser as you want greasing also, to make all vices as scribe and not as critic. He smooth, here are two guineas.” tendered me four shillings for the dis. Then, by the specifications, the slates courses already done, which, he said, it were to bave a lap of four inches; they was impossible for him to use, as I had were not given more than three. I comextracted from them their point, fine plained to the slater. • Oh, ah !” said flavor, and poetry; and then be read me a he; “I see how the land lies. Here are lecture on my impertinence in attempting two guineas; say no more about it, and to correct and improve the literary compo- talk to your governor." sition of a university man so much iny The plumber was bound by his contract senior; and he wound up with an exhor. to use lead for the valleys of the roof, and tation to humility, which, I believe, about the chimneys, of 'tive pound to the formed part of one of the uncopied ser- square foot. It was actually half that

weight, as I found by trying. I pointed I paid my bill at the cottage where I this out to the plumber. " You be easy,” had lodged for the night, and left with said he; "your governor knows all about three farthings in my pocket. Would it. But I see you want greasing as well Harry have acted as I had done? No! as he. Here are two guineas.”

I com


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According to the specification, the glaz- “That will do," said the architect, ining was to be done with best glass twenty terrupting me. "I distinctly recall Tomsix ounces to the foot. In all the win. my and Harry. The first sentences of dows thirds of fifteen ounces was being their history as you recite them come put in, which was half the price exactly back to me, and recall old days, like the I was indignant, and ordered it all out. smell of painted toys and the strains of The glazier shook his head. "Be com- Balfe's • Bohemian Girl,' 'I dreamt that fortable,” he said; “ we've greased the I dwelt in marble halls,' and so on." governor's palm to overlook it, and I sup. He bowed his head in his hands for a pose you ain't content because we've not moment, then shook off his momentary greased yours. So here are two yuineas." weakness, and said in a firm, grave voice,

The carpenter was putting in green My dear Mr. Flopjohn, Tommy was an wood. I actually found him drying some incubus to me in my youth, and I never panels for a door at his stove; they were got on in life till I had broken my idol too full of sap to take the paint. This and cast him to the bats and owls, and was a gross infringement of the contract. till I realized how much greater a man I pointed it out to him. “Stuff and fid. was Harry, and how false was the moral dlesticks !” he said ; "the governor has of that miserable tale. If children are undertaken to shut his eye. I suppose taught that honor, truth, conscientious. you, too, want to be greased. So here are ness lead to success in this world, they two guineas." The plasterer, in like are taught lies.” He beat bis desk with manner, was cutting short the hair be his fist. • No! what succeeds is the had undertaken to mix with the white semblance of Tommy and the spirit of lime. When I showed this to him, I met Harry. Rectitude and sincerity have no with the same reply: “The governor place in our nineteenth-century civiliza. knows all about it. But you, no doubt, tion. They are impracticable virtues. require greasing as well. Here are two Business, trade, cannot be carried on till guineas.

the conscience is rid of them. By a spirit I need hardly say that I refused these of irony we call our civilization by the seven offers of two guineas. I would not name of one who, when offered wealth and sell my conscience, and sequence of the success and honor by the Spirit of the example of Tommy, for £14, 145. od. 1 Aye, refused them; and he ended his days went to my superior in high indignation on a gallows. It is the same now. We and disgust, and told him of the general must stoop to and do homage to the spirit fraud which was being carried on. In. of the age, if we are to attain to prosperity, deed, I said I was taking part in the fraud wealth, and the approval of our fellowif I received two guineas a week froin the men. He who resists that and follows gentleman to protect his interests against his conscience, comes to utter and irreme. the contractors, and betrayed my trust for diable grief - in this world. And the bribes.

sooner children are taught that the better, My“ boss ”rubbed his chin, and looked that they may not start in life with erroat me over his gold spectacles, a little neous notions, and may make their choice uncertain at first what to say. I persisted with the several ends clear before them.” in putting my view of the case before him He paused, and looked at me steadily. in strong language. Then at last be in. Then be resumed. “I see that you are terrupted me and said, “My dear Mr. quite unfit to be with me.

I make my Flopjohn, we must live; we belong to the five hundred a year because I am not a nineteenth century. Your theories are Tommy. You are a Tommy, and how admirable ; your morals those of the copy. much has that brought in to you?" book. But they cannot be carried out. I put my hand in my pocket, and drew They are as impossible in this century as forth martyrdom or the crusades. Where the “ You may go,” he continued.

“ Undeuce did you pick up your antiquated learn as quick as you can the maxims notions?"

instilled into you by your father, unless "From Tommy," said I solemnly. you desire to end like him. Now you

“And pray,” he asked, “who is that have nothing. Go on a little longer, as individual?"

you are now, and you will come, like him, Then I replied, “ Tommy was a good to minus nothing; I wish you a good boy. But Harry was a bad boy. Tom- day, and more wisdom.” my and Harry were one day playing with I turned to leave the room. a round ball.' Then the ball went through hand was on the door, he called to me, a window of a good man's house."

• By the way, Flopjohn, have you seen


As my


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