weak an element in the world, that men and women will want tears, to bewail their sins, we charge and command all gardeners to sow more store of onions, for fear widows should want moisture, to bewail their husband's funerals.

3. In like manner we think it fit, that redwine should be drank with oysters; and that some maidens shall blush more for shame, than for shamefacedness; but men must have care, lest, conversing too much with red petticoats, they banish their hair from their heads,' and, by that means, make the poor barbers beggars, for want of work.

4. Furthermore, it is lawful for those women, that, every morning, taste a pint of muscadine with eggs, to chide, as well as they that drink small beer all the winter; and those that clip, that they should not, shall have a horse night-cap, for their labour; gentlemen, that sell land for paper, shall buy penury with repentance; and those, that have most gold, shall have least grace; some that mean well, shall fare worse; and he that hath no credit, shall have less commodity.

5. It is also ordered and agreed upon, that such as are choleric, shall never want woe and sorrow; and they, that lack money, may fast upon Fridays, by the statute; and it shall be lawful for

"THEY BANISH THEIR HAIR FROM THEIR HEADS.-By reason of Lues Venerea.

them, that want shoes, to wear boots all the year; and he, that hath never a cloak, may, without offence, put on his best gown at midsummer; witness old Prime, the keeper of Bethlem dicing-house.

6. In like manner it is agreed upon, that what day soever St. Paul's church hath not, in the middle aisle of it, either a broker, masterless man, or a penniless companion, the usurers of London shall be sworn by oath, to bestow a new steeple upon it; and it shall be lawful, for cony-catchers' to fall together by the ears, about the four knaves at cards, which of them may claim superiority; and whether false dice, or true, be of the most antiquity.

7. Futhermore, we think it necessary and lawful for the husband and wife to fall at square, for superiority, in such sort, as the wife shall sit playing above in the chamber, while the husband stands painting below in the kitchen: likewise we mark all brokers to be knaves, by letter patents; and usurers, for five marks a piece,' shall lawfully be buried in the chancel, though they have bequeathed their souls and bodies to the devil in hell.

'CONY-CATCHERS.-Sharpers or cheats. Cony-catching, that system of cheating, or, as it is now called, swindling, was carried to such a great length early in the 17th century, that a collective society of sharpers was called a marren, and their dupes rabbit-suckers-i.e., young rabbits, or conies.

FOR FIVE MARKS A PIECE.-Alluding to the table of fees for burials.

8. In like manner, it is thought good, that it shall be lawful for muscadines; in vintner's cellars, to indict their masters of commixtion,' and serjeants shall be contended to arrest any man for his fees: Alewives shall sell flesh on Fridays, without license and such as sell beer, in half-penny pots, shall utter bread and cheese for money through the whole year; and those, that are past honesty and shame, shall smile at sin; and they, that care not for God, prefer money before conscience.

9.

Futhermore, it shall be lawful for foot-stools (by the help of women's hands) to fly about without wings; and poor men shall be accounted knaves without occasions; those, that flatter least, shall speed worst; and pigs, by the statute, shall dance the antics, with bells about their necks, to the wonder and amazement of all swineherds.

IO. In like manner it is convenient, that many men shall wear hoods, that have little learning; and some surfeit so much upon wit, and strive so long against the stream, as their necks shall fail them; some shall build fair houses by bribes, gather much wealth by contention, and, before they be aware, heap up riches for another, and wretchedness for themselves.

II.

Furthermore, it shall be established, for the benefit of increase, that some shall have a tympany

'COMMIXTION.-Blending; adulteration.

in their bellies, which will cost them a child-bearing; and, though the father bear all the charges, it shall be a wise child, that shall know his own father.

12. It shall be lawful for some to have a palsy in their teeth, in such sort, as they shall eat more than ever they will be able to pay for: Some such a megrim in their eyes, as they shall hardly know another man's wife from their own some such a stopping in their hearts, as they shall be utter obstinate, to receive grace; some such a buzzing in their ears, as they shall be enemies to good counsel; some such a smell in their noses, as no feast shall escape, without their companies; and some shall be so needy, as neither young heirs shall get their own, nor poor orphans their patrimony.

13.

Also, it is enacted and decreed, that some shall be so humorous in their walks, as they cannot step one foot from a fool; some so consumed in mind, as they shall keep never a good thought to bless themselves, some so disguised in purse, as they count it fatal to have one penny, to buy their dinners on Sundays; some so burdened in conscience, as they account wrongful dealing the best badge of their occupation.

14. But, amongst other laws and statues, by us here established, we think it most necessary and convenient, that poulterers shall kill more innocent poultry, by custom, than their wives and maids can

d

sell, with a good conscience; also it is ordered and agreed upon, that bakers, woodmongers, butchers, and brewers, shall fall to a mighty conspiracy, so that no man shall either have bread, fire, meat, or drink, without credit, or ready money.

15. Sycophants by the statute shall have great gifts, and good and godly labours shall scarce be worth thanks; it is also thought necessary, that maidens, about midnight, shall see wondrous visions, to the great heart-grief of their mothers.

16. Furthermore it is marked and set down, that, if lawyers plead poor men's causes without money, Westminster-hall shall grow out of custom, to the great impoverishing of all nimmers, lifters, and cutpurses. Those, that sing bass, shall love good drink by authority; and trumpeters, that sound trebles, shall stare by custom. Women, that wear long gowns, may lawfully raise dust in March; and they, that keep a temperate diet, shall never die on surfeits.

17. In like manner, it shall be lawful for sailors and soldiers to spend, at their pleasures, what pay they get by their sword; and if the treasurer pay them anything beyond account and reckoning, if they build not an hospital therewith, they may bestow it in apparel by the statute.

18. It is farther established and agreed upon, that they that drink too much Spanish sack shall,