"I am going to buy a house in some jolly little country place, and you are coming with me to share expenses."

Bingham is not a rich man, so I knew his "house" would be some abominable little thatched cottage with holes in the roof, and brick floor, and windows that wouldn't open, and doors that wouldn't shut, and jessamine climbing all over the place. I'd heard that idea of Bingham's before, and I didn't think much of it; so I merely said:

he said he thought a hundred-pound thing would do for us. It would always be ours, and we could move it about wherever we liked. The best place to choose was some nice sheltered spot where man's foot never trod. He wanted quiet this summer. I asked him how we should get water; and he said:

"From the roof."

I asked if we should have to climb up to the roof on a ladder with a saucepan

'No, Bingham; you've tried that on in one hand and a ladle in the other several times.'

But Bingham was hurt, and began to treat the subject so seriously that I was quite surprised. He unfolded his plans most eloquently, and I found that what was expected of me was this:

He wished to buy (or rather, he would prefer me to buy) a Patent Fire-StoveWater-Proof-Roofed Bungalow a new invention that he had just seen advertised; and at the end of an hour's animated talk I understood this about it.

every time we wanted to boil an egg. I merely asked for information, but he was angry about it; and when I further inquired what would happen provided the windows of heaven remained shut for a season, he became sulky, and suggested that we'd better water it with a garden hose.

I couldn't get any more out of him after this. He said I was fooling him, and went off in a huff; but he relented next night, and brought round an attractive drawing of one of the bungalows to show me.

Bingham can draw better than he can talk, and when I saw the sketch I consented to consider the matter, provided my inquiries in the right quarter proved satisfactory.

I found that Bingham had spoken the truth, though in a distorted form. I confess that the bungalows looked to me uncommonly jolly little places, and I went out of the Fire-Stove-Water

It appeared to be built of cards, which could easily be taken to pieces (if the situation primarily chosen did not suit the health of the owner), and carried about in one's great-coat pocket. These cards were so constructed that "neither heat, nor frost, nor thunder,” had the least effect upon them. As well as being waterproof they were fireproof. Bingham enlarged on this last fact tremendously; he said people were so apt to be careless about fire. Now Roof-Proofing offices with the remark in the case of the bungalows you could scatter hot cinders all over the roof without doing more damage than raising a faint blister on the surface. He laid great stress on the advantages accruing from this. I said that I didn't think I should often want to throw hot cinders all over the roof myself; but Bingham evidently meant to spend all his spare time that way.

I said the whole thing sounded rather uncanny, and I'd like to know a little more about it before I ended my days in a cardboard bungalow. I added, that if all his statements proved true I would buy one on the spot.

that if I could find a suitable place to pitch one of these bungalows in I would buy one.

It was more difficult choosing the "suitable place" than I had ever, even in my wildest dreams, anticipated. Bingham was so pig-headed. I never knew before how unreasonable and capricious he was. He insisted upon Yorkshire being the spot chosen; he said he wanted bracing air, and he knew that a Yorkshire moor was the best place for ozone. Bracing air doesn't agree with me, and Bingham knows it, so I considered it abominably selfish of him to be so positive that

I asked him how much they cost, and Devonshire would ruin his constitution

£ 8. d.

forever. I am fond of Bingham in a room. We were going to take with us way, and when he pictured the awful a humble friend of his to act as cordon. effects that relaxing air always had on bleu and valet de chambre, a man who him, I gave way, and let him have his had served in the regiment in which Yorkshire moor. So we went up to- Bingham had been a captain in those gether one day, and hired a piece of palmy, far-off days when he had been the flattest land we could find. Bing- one of Britain's noblest soldiers. His ham wanted to live in a peat-bog. He name was Jeremiah Sneade, and he said he'd heard it was healthy, and it was supposed to be contented with the would be handy for fires, and very eco- following cheap articles of furniture. nomical; but I didn't want to be reServant's Room. moved to another sphere quite so soon, so I insisted on a commonplace looking field. It was a pretty dreary spot, but it wasn't more than six miles from a post-office, and there was a little brook, "running tinkling by," as Bingham poetically expressed it, about a hundred yards off. He was madly in love with the whole scheme, and was absurdly enthusiastic. He said he thought we should have a bully time there, and he was going to bring heaps of books in case it ever rained.

Well, I bought the bungalow, and the company stuck it up for us. I didn't see it was so remarkably cheap myself after all; but Bingham said it was; and as he didn't pay anything towards the bill, he was an unprejudiced person, and ought to know. I bought the thing in April, because Bingham said we'd want plenty of time to hunt about for furniture; and he went up once a week from town to the bungalow with some "little thing" he had picked up. He asked if I would put the furnishing into his hands, and I said yes, provided that I drew out the list. He agreed to this, and one evening we met to discuss the matter. Bingham came in jubilant, with a list all ready prepared, in case I didn't really care to bother about it. He said, gratefully, that he would do anything in the world to take trouble off my shoulders. I looked at his list. The total struck me as pleasantly cheap, considering that we had three bedsitting-room, and a rooms, a large kitchen to furnish. Bingham had done it all for £30 13s. 6d.

I subjoin his idea of what was necessary. It amused me at the time, I remember. He began with the servant's

1 bedstead
1 chair

0 7 6 020

£0 9 6

I asked Bingham whether Sneade wouldn't want a washhand-stand, but the noble captain said he should like to know what was the use of our pitching the bungalow near a brook if it didn't save us anything? Then I suggested a mattress. Bingham quashed this idea at once. He said soldiers could put up with anything, and Sneade had never slept on a mattress in his life. A truckle bed and a second-hand blanket were all that he required. He admitted having forgotten the blanket, and he didn't quite remember what the price would be. Still, he would leave a handsome margin, and say two shillings. So Bingham's amended list stood thus:

I I asked him if he thought I could afford a sofa apiece, and he replied that it would never do to stick at such a trifle as that. He said we might both come home weary from a day's fishing in the brook, and make for the sofa, and unpleasantness might ensue.

Bingham had always understood counterpanes to be unhealthy. If I wanted a heavy doctor's bill to pay at the end of my holiday, by all means Then we passed on to the dining-valued his life a little higher than Í buy a counterpane. He (Bingham) room, or rather the

were broken, or the one jug? Bing-language.
ham let it be distinctly understood that rather thin.
he had not allowed a margin for acci-
dents in the crockery line. Besides,
Sneade had never broken anything in
his life. The four small tables were
for afternoon tea, of course.

I felt I could do nothing against Bingham. He had taken honors in logic at college, and I was nowhere. I had some common sense, however, a quality Bingham is singularly deficient in, and I said firmly, "Your list is very nice, Bingham, and you have been wonderfully thoughtful and economical. I'll just send it to an aunt of mine, and then she can get the things you've put down without bothering you. I dare say she will want to add a few extra things. Women always see things quicker than men."

The bungalow walls are

He told me he had forgotten his keys, and how was he to get his boxes open he should like to know? He was awfully injured about it, and I felt I was to blame somehow. I lent him my bunch to try if any would fit, and said that if they wouldn't, he could break open the box with Sneade's claspknife we hadn't got any carpentering tools about.

He went off with the keys, but did not stop long. He told me none of them would fit, and he wasn't going to spoil his new trunks that way. Besides, he would have to break them all open because he had forgotten where he had put his night-gear; could I lend him some things?—and then Sneade could run to the village before breakfast, and get a man to come over. I agreed to this, and he sat down satisfied. Presently he got up, "just to look round,” as he said. I heard him speaking rather sharply to Sneade a few minutes afterwards, and wondered what it was about. I learned subsequently that he had broken a teacup, and was condemned henceforth to use only a saucer. I heard Sneade feebly remonstrate about the cup. He said accidents was accidents, and there warn't no good Well, the bungalow was furnished at a-denying of it. I don't know how a cost of £90 odd. I didn't let Bingham | Bingham quelled this incipient rebelsee the bill. I told him it came to a lion. I fancy he recalled the fact to few shillings more than the list he had Sneade's mind that he was still his drawn out, but I thought we should superior officer, and expected to be find it more comfortable on the whole. treated as such.

Bingham grumbled a little at this arrangement. He said that furnishing was part of the fun; but I explained to him that it was really very wearing work, and if we could get any one willing to sacrifice themselves so far in our interests, we might think ourselves lucky. I knew this argument would carry weight with him. Bingham is the idlest fellow on the face of the earth, although he flatters himself he is energy personified.

It really did look very nice when we went down for our real holiday. It was bright and pretty and clean-looking, and Sneade had got a snug little supper for us. Bingham wanted to unpack directly afterwards. I knew it would take him about a month to undo all the luggage he had brought with him, so I didn't interfere. I lit a pipe and stretched myself on the sofa, while the wretched little fox-terrier pup Bingham had insisted on bringing with him sniffed doubtfully round the place. Bingham came in again in about five minutes. I thought something was up, because I heard him using such awful

We went to bed early. Bingham retired first. He seemed to feel quite worn out. When I went to my room I discovered why he was so tired. Everything I possessed was on the floor, and my brush and comb and shaving tackle had gone; also several articles of clothing, and a new pale blue silk necktie, which I had rather fancied. I didn't mind that so much, but what I really objected to was that Bingham had made a bed for the foxterrier in my room out of one of my blankets.

I put him in Sneade's room quietly. He howled a good deal in the night,

and I heard Jeremiah throwing boots at him.

I heard Sneade get up at five and trot off on his six miles walk as commanded. He returned at eight with a carpenter, whom he set down outside the captain's door till he should wake.

We spent the morning in tilling the soil. I wanted to put the house in order first, but Bingham said we could do that when it rained, and it was no good wasting a fine day. He wanted to set Sneade an example. He thought we ought to grow our own vegetables, Then he left the house again. This and he told Sneade to be quick and time I rose and peered out of the win- cook the dinner, as he would have to dow to see what he was doing. He go and buy some seeds when he had was going down to the brook with the finished. He said he had put out the only utensils Bingham had left him a meat ready for him on the kitchen table pail and a saucepan - to get water to to save trouble. His willing slave fill our baths with. I felt glad I had thanked him, and departed. insisted on his room being furnished with a washhand-stand. He came into my room presently, and poured the water in. It just moistened the bottom of the bath, and he sighed. He had to go three times to the brook for me and five times for Bingham, who liked plenty of water to splash about in.

He came back in two seconds to say that the puppy had eaten as much of our dinner as he could, and buried the rest in a corner of the garden. He added that Punch was sitting over the spot, growling.

Bingham showed energy here. He said we must not be too particular; we had come prepared to rough it. We must dig up the meat and wash it. He spent three-quarters of an hour trying to get Punch off the grave, but in vain. He gave it up at last, and asked fiercely whether Sneade hadn't got a leg of mutton, or some other little thing in, in case of emergencies. Sneade said that there was one kidney, a fragment of salmon, some suet, and some potatoes and onions in the house, so Bingham told him to make an Irish stew, and look sharp about it.

I had wanted to breakfast in my dressing-gown and slippers, but the captain had got them, so I dressed in faultless taste and went into the diningroom. I nearly fell over the carpenter on the way, who was talking to Bingham while he was having his bath, and who was so occupied in trying to hear what he said that he did not notice me. I waited breakfast for Bingham, who came down late. I thought the tables looked rather well, as Sneade had done us some broiled kidneys and salmon, both on the same dish. The captain Sneade didn't much like the idea of was not at all satisfied, however. He the Irish stew, and suggested respecthad a fancy for eggs this morning, and fully that if we would only leave the when Sneade said that we had eaten matter in his hands he would engage to four apiece the night before, and the do up those fragments so that we shops wasn't open when he went to shouldn't know what it was we were the village, Bingham said it was dis-eating. To this inviting prospect graceful, and to prevent any contre- Bingham's gracious consent was at last temps of that kind in the future he obtained, and we sat and smoked till should keep hens. Sneade saluted and Sneade had finished his operations. went out.

While we were at breakfast Sneade made the beds. His own did not take him two minutes, as he had merely to fold up the blanket, and he had attended to mine in a very rapid fashion; but he was an immense time in Bingham's room. "The captain was so particular over the dustin'," as he remarked to me later on.

When he came to call us to dinner there was an air of subdued triumph about him which made me rather tremble. I did not put my trust in Sneade quite so implicitly as Bingham did. Here, however, I was wrong. Jeremiah had even more than kept his word. No one on the face of the earth could have possibly told what the real contents of that dish were. He and