CHAPTER VIII.

His concern for his flock-reverse in his temporal prospectsis taken from his work by sickness.

THE wisdom of God shines with most amiable lustre in the institutions of religion. The intelligent and devout observer sees in them evident traces of a divine original. They were ordained by him who "knew what was in man," and recognise most advantageously the leading principles of human nature. They have multiplied the relations which subsist among men, as social beings, and given to social qualities an incalculable value. They cement every tie which binds man to his fellow, and sweeten the enjoyments of every connexion. They heighten all the endearments of domestic life, and are designed and adapted to bring all mankind into one harmonious and happy family. Though they do not obliterate the distinctions of rank and office, and especially that of a teacher, they instruct the head not to say to the foot, I have no need of thee.' In the church of Christ, the most closely-compacted and endearing brotherhood which exists on earth, a common, fraternal affection is reciprocated by its members—an affection growing out of, and continually cherished by, their mutual dependence, their common wants, and the sameness of their relation to their Maker and Redeemer. In addition to this, there is, in this blood-bought and sacred society, the relation of pastor and flock, which swells the aggregate of benefit received and of happiness enjoyed, in proportion to the numbers included in it. And when this relation is entered into from evangelical motives, and with a right spirit, a gushing forth of the affections is felt, which was never felt before-a wellspring is opened, which time cannot dry up, and which renders the pastor's labor and toil, for the salvation of his charge, his choice and his felicity.-Mr. Payson had already exhibited an interest in the welfare of souls, and a desire for their salvation, so great as to seem almost incapable of increase; but, as soon as the pastoral relation was consummated, he regarded those committed to his oversight with an appropriating, an endearing love, which identified their interests and happiness with his own.

"Dec. 17. Was favored with freedom and assistance in writing and prayer, and felt a strong love for the people of my charge. In the evening, attended a meeting of those who are under concern, and had some assistance.

"Dec. 18. Felt in a sweet, dependent frame, and had liberty to cast myself and parish upon God.

"Dec. 19. Awoke twice, after a day of excessive fatigue, drenched in a profuse sweat, and concluded that my time was short.

"Dec. 20. Sab. Extremely weak. Felt as if I could not preach. In the afternoon, preached an occasional sermon, and was wonderfully carried through. Blessed be God.

"Dec. 21. Had a sweet season in prayer. My soul felt strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. I longed to spend and be spent in his service, and wondered at his astonishing goodness to such an unworthy wretch. Spent the whole day in visiting, with some profit and pleasure. In the evening, talked to a number of people on the nature of religion. After returning, found myself much exhausted. Feel convinced that I am in a consumption, and may as well die as cease my exertions."

His illness continued severe for several days, so that he was directed by his physician to keep within. He enjoyed, on the whole, much quietness and resignation, but says, "I longed to be abroad among my people." Dec. 26, ten days after his ordination, he expectorated blood, and "viewed it as his deathwarrant, but felt tolerably calm and resigned." Three days later, however, he is found preaching an evening lecture.

The calamities occasioned by the aggressions of foreign belligerents, and by the restrictions imposed on commerce by our own government, fell at this time with peculiar weight upon the inhabitants of Portland. The darkest season through which the United States have passed since their independence, had now commenced. The distresses of the times are the subject of frequent allusion by Mr. Payson in his diary. The stagnation of business, the failures among the principal merchants, the hundreds of citizens and seamen thrown out of employment, and left destitute of the means of subsistence, and the sufferings of the poor, called forth largely his sympathy. To him, the town seemed threatened with universal bankruptcy; and, whether with good reason or not, he considered the means of his own temporal support as cut off. But the tranquillity of his mind was never more uniform than at this calamitous season; and the object of his supreme desire

and efforts was to turn the distresses of the people to their spiritual advantage, rightly judging, that "the walls of Jerusalem might be built in troublous times." A picture of these distresses, as they appeared to him at the time, is drawn in a letter to his parents, dated

"Portland, Dec. 28, 1807.

"When father was here, he observed that my prospects were almost too happy for this world. They were so, it appears; for they are now as unfavorable, humanly speaking, as they were then flattering. The prospect of war has produced here such a scene of wretchedness as I never before witnessed. A large number of the most wealthy merchants have already failed, and numbers more are daily following, so that we are threatened with universal bankruptcy. Two failures alone have thrown at least three hundred persons, besides sailors, out of employ; and you may hence conceive, in some measure, the distress which the whole number must occasion. The poor-house is already full, and hundreds are yet to be provided for, who have depended on their own labor for daily bread, and who have neither the means of supporting themselves here, nor of removing into the country. Many, who have been brought up in affluence, are now dependent on the cold courtesy of creditors for a protection from the inclemency of the These things, however, are but the beginning of sorrows. As soon as the news of these failures reach every man there, who has a hundred dollars owing to him in Portland, will send down to secure it; and the general stagnation of business is such, that a man who is possessed of ten thousand dollars, in real or personal estate, may not be able to answer a demand of five hundred, though it were to save him from ruin. If these times continue, nine tenths of the people here will be scattered to the four winds. I have scarcely a hope of receiving more than enough to pay my board, if I should stay till next spring; and Mr. K. will want all his salary to support himself, as he fears that all his property is swallowed up in the general destruction. These failures have brought to light many instances of dishonesty among those in whose integrity unbounded confidence was placed. And now

season.

all confidence is lost; no man will trust his neighbor; but every one takes even his brother by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.' But I cannot describe, and I doubt whether you can conceive, of the distress we are in. "And now you will, perhaps, be grieved at this sudden blast of all my fine prospects, and cry, Poor Edward!' But you

never had more reason to rejoice on my behalf, and to cry, 'Rich Edward!' than now; for, blessed be God, my portion does not stand on such tottering foundations as to be shaken by these commotions. My dear parents, my dear sister, do not feel one emotion of sorrow on my account, but rather join with me in blessing God that he keeps me quiet, resigned, and even happy, in the midst of these troubles. I do not pretend not to feel them, however. All my worldly hopes are, apparently, destroyed; and many of those who are now ready to be turned into the streets are the dearest friends I have here; not to mention the distress of the poor, who will, in human probability, soon be in a starving condition. In these circumstances, it is impossible not to feel. Still, if God is pleased to afford me the same degree of support which he has hitherto, I shall be more happy than ever I was. I thought I knew, before, that this world was treacherous, and its enjoyments transitory; but these things have taught me this truth so much plainer, and weaned me so much more from creature dependences, that I desire to consider them among my chief mercies. It has long been my prayer, that if God had any worldly blessings in store for me, he would be pleased to give me grace instead of them, or change them into spiritual blessings; and now he begins to grant my request.—I am sorry for H.'s disappointment, and my own inability to assist pa' out of his difficulties, which I once hoped I should be able to do. But I trust they will be sanctified, if they are not removed. What a blessed portion the believer has in the word of God, if he has only a hand given him to lay hold on it! But too often our hands are withered, and heed not the divine command to stretch them out.

"I tremble for our poor country. I fear the decree has gone out against her. My sins have helped to call down judgments upon her, and I desire to take what falls to my share, and bless God that my punishment is no heavier, and no more proportioned to my deserts. But nothing seems too bad to expect from present appearances. If we escape civil war, it will be well.

"January 5, 1808.

"I would not finish my letter before, because I could say nothing favorable respecting my health, which was then worse than ever, but, blessed be God, seems now unaccountably restored. The tumult in town has subsided into a dead calm; the embargo has put a stop to every thing like business, and people have now nothing to do but attend to religion; and

we endeavor to give them meetings enough, since they have leisure to attend them. Next week, we purpose to keep a town fast, on account of our distressed situation. I am not without hopes that these things may be overruled to bring about a more extensive reformation. The attention appears to continue, and we hear of new instances of persons under concern. Feel no uneasiness respecting me. The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. The people are very kind, increasingly so. Some of our young converts have lost their all, and had their houses stripped; and it does my heart good to see them cheerful and quiet under it; while others, who have no God, have lost their reason, or, worried almost incessantly, are apparently dying of a broken heart, or uttering the most bitter and distressing complaints. But it is a heart-rending sight to see those who have no other portion stripped naked of all worldly good. Their gods are taken away, and what have they more?"

"Jan. 5. I find myself, from day to day, in the situation of a poor beggar, with nothing to plead but my necessities. In the evening, preached to a serious audience, and was greatly encouraged to hope for a reformation more general. Was much drawn out in prayer, both at meeting and after I came home.

"Jan. 6. Hope that God is quickening me to run the way of his commandments with a more enlarged heart.

"Jan. 10. Preached, and baptized seven persons, and administered the sacrament. Felt entirely exhausted. My constitution seems to be much broken, and a little labor wears

me out.

"Jan. 13. This day was devoted to fasting and prayer, by the town, on account of the present gloomy appearances.

"Jan. 14. Hope the strong workings of corruption I have experienced will make me more humble, and the gracious pardon I have received, more thankful.

"Jan. 17. Sab. Was alarmed by cry of fire during family prayer. It did considerable damage, but, by God's goodness, was got under, though the town was in imminent danger. Was much assisted in seeking a divine blessing on all our afflictions. Had no meeting in the forenoon. In the afternoon, preached with some liberty.

"Jan. 22. In the evening, preached, and was much refreshed and strengthened in my own soul. Found the Lord's work is going on. O what shall I render unto the Lord for

all his benefits!