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PROLOGUE.

Written by Mr. GARRICK.

A SCHOOL for Scandal! tell me, I beseech you,
Needs there a school this modish art to teach you?
No need of lessons now, the knowing think;
We might as well be taught to eat and drink.
Caused by a dearth of scandal, should the vapours
Distress our fair ones-let them read the papers;
Their powerful mixtures such disorders hit;
Crave what you will-there's quantum sufficit.
"Lord!" cries my Lady Wormwood (who loves tattle,
And puts much salt and pepper in her prattle),
Just ris'n at noon, all night at cards when threshing
Strong tea and scandal-"Bless me, how refreshing!
"Give me the papers, Lisp—how bold and free! (sips)
"Last night Lord L. (sips) was caught with Lady D.
"For aching heads what charming sal volatile! (sips)
If Mrs. B. will still continue flirting,

66

"We hope she'll DRAW, or we'll UNDRAW the curtain. "Fine satire, poz-in public all abuse it,

"But, by ourselves, (sips) our praise we can't refuse it.

"Now, Lisp, read you there, at that dash and

star: "

"Yes, ma'am-A certain lord had best beware,
"Who lives not twenty miles from Grosvenor Square;
"For should he Lady W. find willing,

"Wormwood is bitter"- -"Oh! that's me, the villain!
"Throw it behind the fire, and never more
"Let that vile paper come within my door."
Thus at our friends we laugh, who feel the dart;
To reach our feelings, we ourselves must smart.
Is our young bard so young, to think that he
Can stop the full spring-tide of calumny ?
Knows he the world so little, and its trade?
Alas! the devil's sooner raised than laid.
So strong, so swift, the monster there's no gagging:
Cut Scandal's head off, still the tongue is wagging.
Proud of your smiles once lavishly bestow'd,
Again our young Don Quixote takes the road;
To show his gratitude he draws his pen,
And seeks this hydra, Scandal, in his den.
For your applause all perils he would through-
He'll fight that's write-a cavalliero true,
Till every drop of blood-that's ink-is spilt for you.

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THE

SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL.

ACT I. SCENE I.

Lady SNEERWELL'S House.

Discovered Lady SNEERWELL at the dressing-table ; SNAKE drinking chocolate.

Lady Sneer. THE paragraphs, you say, Mr. Snake, were all inserted?

Snake. They were, madam; and as I copied them myself in a feigned hand, there can be no suspicion whence they came.

Lady Sneer. Did you circulate the report of Lady Brittle's intrigue with Captain Boastall?

Snake. That's in as fine a train as your ladyship could wish. In the common course of things, I

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