SELECTED FOR THE MUSEUM.

Sayings and Doings. Second Series. 3 vols. royal 12mo. London, 1825. H. Colburn.

THE author of these Tales has made himself known far and wide, as the delineator of modern life and manners. He catches follies as they fly, and while he enlivens his pages with pictures of oddity and of humour, we fear that they are more near to truth than the air of caricature about them induces us at first glance to suspect. But however this may be, and perhaps the graver treatment of other public concerns in our Gazette will better explain our opinions on the aspect of the times, these volumes are so fresh in our hands that we can do no more on this occasion than introduce them, sans phrase, in their own substance to our expectant friends.

The first Tale is entitled 'The Southerlands,' and in the adventures of two brothers of quite opposite characters, exemplifies in a very entertaining manner the proverbs "Look before you leap," and "Marry in haste, Repent at leisure."

The second story is longer, and though probably heightened in some of its incidents and plot, evidently has its characters drawn from real life. They consist principally of a young man of fortune surrounded by fortune-hunters of various descriptions, plundering dependants, and toadeaters of neither mark nor likelihood. An eccentric uncle, a beautiful cousin, and the family of the family solicitor, or man of business, nearly complete the dramatis personæ. The adage illustrated is, that "Practice is better than precept:" which, as we cannot also display by going through the tale of "The Man of many Friends," we must content ourselves with an extract to exhibit the talent of the author.

Colonel Arden and Miss Neville come to London with a hope to save his nephew from impending ruin, and arrive at the house of his attorney, Mr. Abberly.

"The Abberlys were at dinner when their guests arrived, the guests themselves having dined early to please the old gentleman at some distance from the metropolis. The meal was speedily finished, and the dessert put down, and Arden, who, as the reader may imagine, was most anxious to hear tidings of his misguided nephew, commenced a series of inquiries upon the interesting subject, when Mrs. Abberly interrupted the conversation by asking her husband 'just to ring the bell.'

"This request having been complied with, a servant appeared, to whom his mistress whispered, 'Tell Dawes to bring the children:' the man disappeared, and the lady, turning to Louisa, with one of those sweet smiles which ladies about to praise themselves are in the habit of putting on, said, 'We are very old fashioned folks, Miss Neville. Mr. A. and myself make it a rule to have all the children round us every day after dinner-some people don't

like it, but I hope and trust we shall never be so fashionable as that

comes to.

"Miss Neville was about to rejoin something very laudatory, touching infantine attraction and maternal affection, when a considerable uproar and squalling was heard in the hall, and the parlour door flying open, Dawes made her appearance, attended by seven fine healthy creatures, varying in their height from four feet two to two feet four, and in their ages from ten to three years. Chairs were ranged around the table for the young fry, who were extremely orderly and well-behaved for a short time, and in the first instance taken to the Colonel to be praised: the old gentleman, who was not particularly fond of nestlings at any time, but whose whole heart and soul were at the present moment occupied in the affairs of his prodigal nephew, kissed one and patted the other, and blessed the little heart' of this one, and 'pretty deared' that one, until the ceremony of inspection and approbation having been fully gone through, the whole party was turned over to Louisa, to undergo a second similar operation; after this, they were placed upon the chairs assigned to them, Dawes retired, and the conversation was resumed."

"And pray now,' said the Colonel, what is your real opinion, Mr. Abberly, of the state of poor George's pecuniary affairs?'

"Sir,' said Abberly, I really think, if you wish me to speak candidly-Maria, my dear, look at Georgiana,-she is spilling all the sugar over the table.'

"Georgiana,' said Mrs. Abberly, emphatically, 'keep still, child; Sophy, help your sister to some sugar.'

"I really believe,' continued Mr. Abberly, that Mr. George Arden-Sophy, put down that knife-Maria, that child will cut her fingers off, how can you let her do so-I wonder at you-upon my word, Sophy, I am quite ashamed of you.'

"Sophy, you naughty girl,' cried her Mamma, 'put down that knife, directly, or I'll send you up-stairs.'

"I was only cutting the cake, Ma,' said Sophy.

"Don't do it again, then, and sit still,' exclaimed the mother, and turning to Louisa, added in an under-tone, 'pretty dears, it is so difficult to keep them quiet at that age,'

"Well Sir,' again said the Colonel, but let me beg you to tell me seriously what you advise then to be done in the first instance.'

"Why, there is but one course,' answered the lawyer, who was a man of first-rate talent; 'you know, Sir, there are different modes of treating different cases, but in this instance the course, I think, is clear and evident-Tom, you naughty child, you'll be down; get off the back of Colonel Arden's chair directly."

"What a funny pig-tail,' exclaimed somebody, in reference to a minute article of that sort worn by the Colonel. Sophy laughed and slapped her brother's shoulder.

"Hush, William,' exclaimed Mrs. Abberly, holding up her hand in a menacing posture.

"And that course,' continued the master of the house, if there be a chance yet left of preserving the young man, it will be absolutely necessary to pursue.'

"Tell me, then, for God's sake,' said the Colonel, deeply interested, and highly agitated, what you propose should be our first measure.'

"George, my love,' exclaimed Mrs. Abberly to her husband, 'will you be good enough to speak to Robert, he won't leave Sophy alone, and he don't mind me the least in the world.'

"Robert, be quiet,' thundered out his father in an awful tone. "She won't give me any cherries, Pa,' said Robert.

"That's a story, now, Robert,' cried the eldest girl, who was nearly ten years old, and was screwed in, and poked out, to look like a woman; with curls, and a necklace, and a dress exactly like her mother's, who was forty.

"I'm sure you have had more than Sophy-only you are such a rude boy.'

"Bless my heart!' said the Colonel, half aside, and warming a little with the events, I beg your pardon, what did you say you would advise, Mr. Abberly?'

"Decidedly this,' said Abberly, 'I'

"My love,' interrupted Mrs. Abberly onee more, is that Port or claret near you? Dr. Mango says Maria is to have half a glass of port wine every day after dinner, this hot weather,-half a glass-thank you-there-not more-that will do, dear;'here Mr. Abberly had concluded the operation of pouring out. 'Tom,' said Mamma, 'go and fetch the wine for your sister, there's a dear love.'

"Tom did as he was bid, tripped his toe over the corner of the rug in passing round the table, and deposited the major part of the port wine in the lap of Miss Louisa Neville, who was habited in an apple-green silk pelisse, (which she had not taken off since her arrival,) that was by no means improved in its appearance by the accidental reception of the contents of Miss Maria's glass.

"Good God! Tom,' exclaimed Mrs. Abberly, what an awkward child you are!-dear Miss Neville, what shall we do?-ring the bell, Sophy, send for Simmons, or send for Miss Neville's maidMiss Neville, pray take off your pelisse.'

"Oh, I assure you it is not of the slightest consequence,' said Louisa, with one of her sweetest smiles, at the same moment wishing Tom had been at the bottom of the Red Sea, before he had given her the benefit of his gaucherie; a stain upon a silk dress being, as every body knows, at all times and seasons a feminine aggravation of the first class.

"Tom, anticipating a beating from some quarter, but which he did not stop to calculate, set up a most mellifluous howling; this awakened from its peaceful slumbers a fat poodle, who had been VOL. VI. No. 35.-Museum.

3 G

reposing after a hearty dinner beneath the table, and who forthwith commenced a most terrific barking.

-

"Be quiet, Tom,' said Mr. Abberly, Maria, my angel, do keep the children still.'

Ma,' exclaimed Maria junior, 'I'm not to lose my wine,am I, Pa?'

"No, my love, to be sure,' said Abberly; 'Come here and fetch it yourself, my darling.'

"She had better drink it there, Mr. A.' said the prudent mother.

"And accordingly, under the surveillance of his wife, who kept watching him as to the exact quantity, periodically cautioning him with-There, my love-there, my dear-that will do-no more, my love, &c.-Mr. A. as she Bloomsburily called him, poured out another half glass of port wine, as prescribed by Dr. Mango, for his daughter.

"Old Arden, whose patience was nearly exhausted, and who thought that Mrs. Abberly was, like Lady Cork's chairs upon state occasions, screwed to her place, sought what he considered a favourable lull,' as the sailors call it, to endeavour to ascertain what Abberly's plan for the redemption of his nephew actually was, and had just wound himself into an interrogative shape, when Mrs. Abberly called his attention by observing, that a certain little lady,' looking very archly at Miss Maria, wanted very much to let him hear how well she could repeat a little poem without book.'

"Mrs. Abberly had prepared Louisa for this, by whispering to her, that such exhibitions created emulation in the nursery, and that Dawes was a very superior person, and with Miss Gubbins, (who was quite invaluable,) brought them on delightfully.

"I shall be charmed, Ma'am,' said the Colonel, heaving a sigh. And accordingly the child stood up at his side, and began that beautiful bit of Barbauldism so extremely popular in the lower forms of preparatory schools, called The Beggar's Petition.' Arden could not, however, suppress a significant ejaculation, quite intelligible to his niece, when the dear little Maria, smelling of soap and bread and butter, with her shoulders pushed back, her head stuck up, and her clavicula developed like drum-sticks, squeaked out the opening line

'Pity the sorrows of a poor old man.'

"Ah!'-exclaimed Arden, at the same time pushing back his chair and twirling his thumbs.

'Pity the sorrows of a poor

continued the sweet innocent,

old man,'

"Whose trembling limbs has bore him to oo door, Whose dace are dwilden'd to is sortest pan,

Oh,

'Give relief,'

said Mrs. Abberly.

'Give a leaf,'

said the child,

'And Heaven'

continued Mrs. Abberly.

'Give a leaf and Heaven'

repeated Maria,

'And Heaven'—

'Well, what's next?' said Mr. Abberly.

'Give a leaf and Heaven, well what's next?'

said the child.

'No my dear love,' said her papa, patting her little headHeav'n will bless your store.'

Why you said it yesterday, my darling, without missing a single word."

"Now that's all learnt from the book, Colonel,' said Mrs. Abberly, not by rote!'

6

"Very pretty indeed, Ma'am,' said the Colonel, 'very clever!' "Ah! but there are six more verses, Sir,' said Sophy; 'she only knows three,-I can say 'em all!'

"That you can't,' said Tom; 'I can say 'em better than you; besides, I can say all about "The Black Beetle's Ball," and "The Bull and the Watering-pot."

"Oh, you story-teller, Tom!'

"I can,' said Tom; you may go and ask Miss Gubbins if I

can't.'

"I know you can't, Tom, and Miss Gubbins said so only yesterday,' replied Sophy.

"Hush, hush, my dears!' said the master of the house, never mind who says that; you know you are older than Tom, my love. Pray, Colonel,' said the fond father, turning to the agitated old man, do you think Sophy grows like her mother?'

"Very like indeed,' said the Colonel; at the same moment patting Master Robert on the head, who happened to be standing by him, playing with his watch-chain and seals;-the merry-andrew dresses of the younger branches of the family not very distinctly marking the difference in their sexes."

After such a trial of patience, who would not exclaim with the worthy Colonel (apart to his niece,) "Oh for the days of good King Herod !"

As a punishment for this unchristian prayer, he had a second visitation at tea in the drawing room, where Mrs. Abberly (who had overheard him, and set him down for a monster who hated innocents)" called her favourite Tom (without exception the rudest and stupidest boy in Christendom) and placing him paternally at his side, began to question him on sundry topics usually resorted to upon similar occasions. From this promising lad the old gentleman learned that four and four make nine, that William the Con