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Wife. Good sir, by all our vows I do beseech you, Show me the true cause of your discontent.
Hus. Money, money, money ; and thou must supply me.
Wife. Alas, I am the least cause of your discontent ;
Hus. Puh! bastards, bastards, bastards; begot in tricks, begot in tricks.
Wife. Heaven knows how those words wrong me: but I may
Hus. Have done, thou harlot,
Be it so.
Wife. Sir, do but turn a gentle eye on me, And what the law shall give me leave to do, You shall command.
Hus. Look it be done. Shall I want dust, And like a slave wear nothing in my pockets
[Holds his hands in his pockets. But my bare hands, to fill them up with nails ? O much against my blood! Let it be done. I was never made to be a looker-on, A bawd to dice; I 'll shake the drabs myself, And make them yield : I say, look it be done. Wife. I take my leave : it shall.
Enter three Gentlemen.
i Gent. Still 'do these loathsome thoughts jar on your tongue ?
2 Gent. Good sir, let modesty reprove you.
Hus. Good den; I thank you, sir ; how do you ? Adieu !
Enter a Servant. How now, sirrah? What would you ?
Ser. Only to certify you, sir, that my mistress was met by the way, by them who were sent for her up to London by her honourable uncle, your worship’s late guardian.
Hus. So, sir, then she is gone; and so may you be ;
Enter a Gentleman.
No, nor I.
Gent. Strike thine own follies, for 't is they deserve
No, thou shalt hear me further. Thy father's and forefathers' worthy honours,
Which were our country monuments, our grace,
Hus. I'll not endure thee.
But of all the worst,
Nay, then I know thee;
O ignoble thought !
Hus. It has gall’d you, this; has it ?
No, monster; I will prove
Hus. Love of her virtues ? there it goes.
[They fight, and the Husband is hurt. Hus.
Wilt thou yield it yet?
[They fight again. Hus. Have you got tricks ? Are you in cunning with me?
Gent. No, plain and right:
Hus. Hard fortune! am I levelled with the ground?
Ay, you slave.
Has the dog left me then,
After his tooth has left me ? O, my heart
SCENE III.-Another Room in the same.
Enter WIFE, in a riding suit, and a Servant.
Wife. I grant I had ; but, alas,
Ser. I should think so, mistress. If he should not now be kind to you, and love you, and cherish you up, I should think the devil himself kept open house in him.
Wife. I doubt not but he will. Now prithee leave me; I think I hear him coming. Ser. I am gone.
[Erit. Wife. By this good means I shall preserve my lands, And free my husband out of usurers' hands. Now there's no need of sale; my uncle 's kind : I hope, if aught, this will content his mind. Here comes my husband.
Enter HUSBAND. Hus. Now, are you come? Where's the money? Let's see the
money. Is the rubbish sold ? those wise-acres, your lands? Why, when? The money? Where is it? Pour it down ; down with it, down with it: I say pour 't on the ground; let 's see it, let s see it.
Wife. Good sir, keep but in patience, and I hope my words shall like
you well. I bring you better comfort than the sale of my dowry. Hus. Ha! what's that ?
Wife. Pray do not fright me, sir, but vouchsafe me hearing. My uncle, glad of your kindness to me and mild usage (for so I made it to him), hath, in pity of your declining fortunes, provided a place for you at court, of worth and credit; which so much overjoy’d me
Hus. Out on thee, filth! over and overjoyed, when I'm in torment? [Spurns her.] Thou politic whore, subtiler than nine devils, was this thy journey to nunck? to set down the history of me, of my state and fortunes ? Shall I, that dedicated myself to pleasure, be now confined in service? to crouch and stand like an old man i' the hams, my hat off? I that could never abide to uncover my head i' the church ? Base slut! this fruit bear thy complaints.
Wife. O, heaven knows
Draws a dagger.
Ser. May it please you, sir
Hus. What ! may I not look upon my dagger? Speak, villain, or I will execute the point on thee: Quick, short. Ser. Why, sir, a gentleman from the university stays below to speak
Erit. Hus. From the university ? so; university :—that long word runs through me.
[Exit. Wife. Was ever wife so wretchedly beset ? Had not this news stepp'd in between, the point Had offer'd violence unto my breast. That which some women call great misery Would show but little here; would scarce be seen Among my miseries. I may compare, For wretched fortunes, with all wives that are. Nothing will please him, until all be nothing.