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as you please, but you'll make me quite sad, If you all keep so moping while we are so mad ! Mr Jeffrey, cheer up! you're a nice little fellow, Notwithstanding the sins of your Azure-and-Yellow; Though you're not the first Wit that can possibly be, You're a clever old body--there's butter from me.
VIII. Were I forced by some dread demoniacal hand, To change heads (what a fate!) with some Whig in the land, I don't know but I'd swap with yourself, my old Gander, (I should then be Diogenes—not Alexander !) But to shew my good will in a manner more solemn, I inscribe to your name (Jump for joy!) this whole VOLUME. Being always your servant, your friend, and so forthThe humanest of conquerors
Christopher North. 17, PRINCE'S-STREET, EDINBURGU,
31st December, 1821.
We have found ourselves, dear. Subscribers, under the necessity of publishing two Numbers of our Magazine, this month, and we shall be obliged to do this occasionally, when our correspondents become dangerous and personal. We trust that we shall be forgiven by all whose articles are not inserted. We put a printer's devil, blindfolded into our large iron-safe, and told him to throw out at random thirty articles. As he is no relation of the late Miss Macavoy of Liverpool, the blindest impartiality may be depended upon. Another devil was in waiting to carry off the articles' to the printing-office; and they are printed just as the blinded devil threw them up, on the principle of fortuitous concussion. That so much and so many of them should have happened to relate to coronations, cannot surprise any person who believes that an accidental jumble of atoms produced the world.
We regret, however, that this mode of selection has been unfortunate in one respect. The paw of the little devil in the chest has not happened to lay hold of any sentimental description of the late august ceremony; although, doubt. less, there must be many such, às all the writers for the press appear to have been taken with the most pathetic sensibility in their account of the solemnities; even the London newspapers not only excelled themselves, but some of them performed characters at variance with their wönted habits.
The eyes of “The Morning Chronicle," for example, were suffused with tears of joy and gratitude at beholding the whiglings placed so near his Majesty's seat of honour; “The Examiner" was obliged to confess that“ the thing was well got up;" and Cobbet himself bit his lips with vexation to such a degree, that there is some doubt if he will ever be able to wash his mouth again.
Had we not been induced to grant the boon of this impartial selection to our correspondents, in imitation of his Majesty's act of grace to the Radicals, merely to try if we can appease a parcel of discontented rogues, we should have confined ourselves exclusively to works of a tender-hearted kind, such as has hitherto characterised our publication. Perhaps, however, our readers will allow, that for them the fortuitous selection has been fortunate, for certainly we never before issued any Number like to this, whether we regard the abilities of the correspondents, or the topics on which their abilities have been exerted.
THE STEAM-BOAT ;
No. VI. Or, The Voyages and Travels of Thomas Duffle, Cloth-merchant in the
Saltmarket of Glasgow.
VOYAGE THIRD. Having nourished my faculties for set it down with a stot, and, pushing observation by reflecting on the va- back her chair, remained for a space of rious things I had seen, and the extra- time in a posture of astonishment, by ordinaries I had heard, I began again to which I discovered that it was a thing feel the spirit of curiosity germinating she never expected would have enterto new adventures, which it would at ed my head. I then expounded to her one time have been far from my hand to how it might be serviceable to me to have undertaken. But travelling en- inspect the ways of business in Lonlarges the mind, and experience is a don; but although nothing could be great encourager in the way of ventu« more reasonable than what I set forth ring afield. I was, however, for a sea- on that head, she shook her's, and son perplexed anent the airt in which said, “ This comes of your gallantI should steer my course, as the Jack ing in the Greenock steam-boats ; but Tars say, till some accident brought ye’re your own master, Mr Duffle, me to think, that of late years our and may do as ye think fit-howsomyoung haberdashers, and others in the ever, its my opinion that the coronafancy line, are in the practice of tak- tion has a temptation in it that ye're ing a trip up to the town of London, to blate to own.” see the fashions:- Thinking of this, After thus breaking the ice with as I was saying, it came into my head, Mrs M‘Lecket, I consulted with Mr that if such jauntings were profitable Sweeties as to money matters and lesser to them, the like might be of service considerations, and having made a suitto me in my business at the same able arrangement for being from home time, considering the steady hand I a whole month, and bought a new had always held in my calling, it would trunk for the occasion, with the ’nitial not do for me to be overly ready to letters of my name on the lid in brass change my methods; and therefore, nails, I was taken in a stage-coach to before attempting any thing of the Edinburgh. Some advised me to presort, I thought it would be prudent to fer the track-boat on the canal to Lock see a little more of the world, and look No. 16; but as I had the long voyage about me; for although Glasgow is from Leith to London before me, I surely a large and populous place, it considered with myself, that I would must be allowed that it is but a nar- have enough of the water or a' was row sphere for observation, and that a done, and therefore resolved to travel man who spends his whole life there- by land, though it was a thought more in, between, as it were, the punch- expensive. bowl and the coffee-room, cannot be My companions in the coach conelse, as a man, than one of the nume- sisted of Mrs Gorbals, who was taking rous family of the Smalls, a term in her youngest daughter, Miss Lizzy, which I heard an exhibitioner at Ba- to learn manners at a boarding-school liol's, from our college to Oxford, in Edinburgh-and a Greenock genemploy in speaking of persons with tleman, who was on his way to get the poor heads and proud purses and no- opinion of counsel anent a rivisidendo body could dispute with him the just- on some interlocutor of the Lord Ordiness thereof.
nary concerning the great stoollaw-plea However, not to descant on particu- of that town; and we were a very tosh larities, let it suffice, that one night, and agreeable company. For of Mrs over a dish of tea, [the Englishers, as Gorbals it does not require me to tell, I afterwards found, say a cup of tea,] that she is a blithe woman; and Miss with Mrs MʻLecket, I said to her, Lizzy, although she has not quite so " What would ye think, Mistress, if much smeddum as her elder sister I were to set out on a journey to Lon- Miss Meg, that Mr M‘Gruel, the Kildon?”
winning doctor, had a work with last Mrs MʻLecket had then the pourie year, is however a fine good-tempered in her hand to help my cup; but she iassie, and, when well schooled, may
pass for a lady in the Trongate, among her mother to be present at the handthe best and the brawest, ony day. As ling. for the feuars and subfeuars of Gree- I said to him, considering what he nock, every body knows what a pith had suffered in his first voyage, that I of talent is in them, and how cleverly was surprised he would have ventured they can see through the crooks and on water again, especially as he had the crevices of all manner of difficul- his own carriage. But both he and ties. I need, therefore, only say, that Mrs Pringle declared that the tribulaour fellow-passenger had no small por- tion and extortioning of travelling by tion of the ability common among his land was as ill to abide as the sea-sicktownsfolk. I should remark by hands, ness, which I can well believe, for at that on the outside of the coach there every house, when we changed horses was a man from Port-Glasgow in the in coming from Glasgow in the stagevolunteering line, watching a bit box coach, there was the stage-driver begwith his cleeding, and hadding on by ging his optional; to say nothing of the rail like grim death-what he was what Mrs Pringle herself remarked going to do at Edinburgh, or whether concerning the visible comfort of such he was gawn o'er the seas or further, a steam-boat, where every thing was he kens best himself.
on a neat genteel fashion, and no sort of In the course of our journey to the commodity neglected. capital town of Scotland we met with I told her, however, that I was not no accident, but had a vast deal of very sure but from the boiler there might jocose conversation. Twice or thrice be a danger, when we were out on the Mrs Gorbals paukily tried to pick out ocean sea; whereupon the Doctor, who, of me where I was going, and seemed in his first voyage to Glasgow, had got an to jealouse that I was bound on a ma- insight of the method of enginery, took trimonial exploit; but I was no so kite and showed me all how it worked, and tly as she thought, and could thole her how the boiler, when the steam was progs and jokes with the greatest plea- overly strong, had a natural
of its sance and composure, by which she was own of breaking the wind off its stosorely put to in her conjectures. mach, as he said, in his pawkie and
As it was not my intent to stay any funny way, which was very diverting time in Edinburgh at the outgoing of to hear. I need not therefore say that I my jaunt
soon as the coach stopped, was greatly delighted to find myself in I hired a porter from the Highlands, such good company as the Doctor and and he took my trunk on his shoulder, that clever woman his lady, who is and we walked both together on to surely a fine patron to wives throughLeith. Luckily for me it was that I had out the whole west country, especially been so expeditious, for we reached in the shire of Ayr. the pier in the very nick of time, just Nothing could be more facetious when the new steam-boat, the City of than our voyage ; every body was just Edinburgh, was on the wing of depar- in the element of delight; the sea ture. So on board I steppit, where I rippled, and the vessel paddled, as if found a very jovial crew of passengers. she had been a glad and living thing, Among others, Doctor and Mrs Prin- and sailed along so sweetly, that both gle from Garnock, who were going up Dr Pringle and me thought that sureto London, as the reverend Doctor told ly the owners had some contrivance of me himself, on account of their daugh- a patent nature for creeshing the soles ter, Mrs Sabre, Miss Rachael that was, of her feet. being at the down-lying, and wishing
A JEANIE DEANS IN LOVE. Among the passengers was a Mrs Mashlam, from the vicinity of Mineybole, whom I knew when formerly she was servan lass to Bailie Shuttle, before she gaed into Edinburgh. She was then a bonnie guileless lassie, just a prodigy of straight-forward simplicity, and of a sincerity of nature by common; indeed, it was all owing to her chaste and honest demeanour, that she got so well on in the world, as to be married to her most creditable gudeman, Mr Mashlam, who is not only of a bein circumstance, but come of a most respectable stock,