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from some of the most distinguished window, almost as soon as the sun himmembers of the Scottish Bar, and some self disappeared, poured forth a stream of the clergymen of the city, the fol- of triumphal glory, that produced the lowing resolutions were put and carried. finest effects of mass and profile on
I. Resolved unanimously, That Black- every object within the scope of their wood's Magazine is the best publication radiance. The upward shadow of the
castle spread into the abyss of night II. Resolved unanimously, That, in the like that of the earth, which causes present alarming crisis, it is expedient that the lunar eclipses; but, in a moment, Blackwood's Magazine should be conti- every turret and battlement was lighted nued.
III. Resolved unanimously, That Chris- up with blue fires, and Roman candles, topher North, Esq. is the best of all pose exactly in the style intended when his sible Editors.
Majesty visits Edinburgh ; and a mag-
V. Resolved, That a Committee be ap- in the splendour, and rejoice.
--so that the cates' did not light at all ; and it was danger was past as soon as we had only by the utmost address on the burned that letter.
part of Captain Brown, that a riot was Orders were immediately issued by prevented. the proper authorities for a general Large placards were exhibited by illumination of the city, on Monday, three hundred and sixty-five conthe 2d of December, and, though there stables, to inform the mob, that the was little time to prepare, several of Faculty were deliberating on the best the devices were at once ingenious and means of testifying their joy; and that beautiful, No. 17, Prince's Street, no doubt their decision would be sawas a perfect star. Under the silver tisfactory to the people. This would, cross of Scotland appeared a transpa- doubtless, have been the case, but cerrency of ourselves, seated in our arm tain Whig orators, by one of these chair, with our foot on the beautiful tricks peculiar to the party, made such soft padded stool, presented to us some long speeches, that the whole night years ago by Lady Morgan, while a was consumed in debate. bright circle enveloped us, composed
At Ambrose's the contributors supof the letters
ped; and that respectable broiler of CHRISTOPHORUS REDIVIVUS.
steaks exhibited his literature and loy
alty, by a beautiful star surmounting Early in the evening the whole city c. N. surrounded by a wreath of was attracted to the North Bridge, Thistles, Roses, and Shamrocks, of coby the most splendid preparations at loured lamps, in the most tasteful Ballantyne's Printing Office. Every manner. The Register Office exhibitVol. X.
ed a row of flambeaux, and the Ma- ture on that day; and such was the gistrates, in a most splendid manner, stupor of grief at Harley's, that a illuminated the front of the Exchange, hundred cows went supperless to bed. and regaled the populace with five The theatre was open, but only one hundred hogsheals of ale. The Foun- young lady in the upper boxes, and tain and Cross Wells were pyramids one country minister in the bottomless of light, and the reservoir on the pit. Had' Catalani been there, she Castle Hill having been made into would have sung in solitude-had the punch, every pipe and cock in the Rumour been delayed till next summer, city supplied the inhabitants with the King must have put off his visit to thut delicious Glasgow beverage to Scotland till the year 1823.
But it is impossible Paisley was in despair, from Maxwelfor us to describe the scene. Im- town to Gauze-street,- from the Snedagination alone can do it justice. den to the Seedle. Red were the eyes The testimonies of private rejoicing of the brown-duffled tambourers, and baffle all shescription. One circum- every weaver wept. Port-Glasgow stance, however, we ought not to ne- vied with Greenock in grief. For one glect. The cocks began to crow at day, no allusion was made to the unten o'clock, believing they had over- fortunate steeple of the first, and the roosted themselves. The canary birds great question of the stools in the Asin their cages sung out rejoicing, and sembly Room of the second was set at Nature, like Tom Campbell's Andes, rest." A deep distress had humagiant of the Western Star, unfurled a nized their souls," and there was a gemeteor flag from Nelson's Monument, neral shaking of hands, in the reenuwhich reached to Kirkaldy, and actu- cilement of a wide and general afflically set fire to the house where the tion. smuggler lived, whose execution occa. The. Rumour crossed the Devil's sioned the Porteous mob,
Bowling-Green, and into the heart of The effects produced by the Rumour the Highlands. A thousand stills all over Scotland, were as remarkable were sad in the Moor of Rannoch, and as those of which we were ourselves the herring-fishing on Loch-Fyne lost eye and ear witnesses in the Modern a day. A drove of black cattle coming Athens. The Tontine at Glasgow was across the hill road from Spey-side to immediately hung with black velvet; Bræmar, was met by the Rumour, and and one illustrious gentleman, whó Captain Macdougall, formerly of the disturbed the uniformity of the West 79th, who had become a great grazier, Country sorrow, by daring a grin, was fell off his shelty, and has remained forth with kicked by a hundred feet senseless ever since. The sensation af into the Outer Exchange. The sharp- Inverness was much stronger than shooters, a fine body of 700 men, were that occasioned by their earthquake; drawn up in a hollow and silent square and the countenance of John-a-Groats in the green near Nelson's pillar, was troubled. Many families talked (over which was huug a banner, with of emigrating, in consequence of this the arms of the city upside down ;- sudden blow; and nothing but delica. namely, the tree that never grew, the cy prevents us from mentioning the fish that never swam, and the bell names of three clergymen-one a Ca. that never rung,) while a suitable dis- tholic, one an Episcopal, anl one a course was delivered to them by their Presbyterian, who, in a rash moment, incomparable Colonel, during which committed suicide, when they heard not a man in the corps refrained from we had resigned. The good old Pres. tears. The troops had wo:den flints in byterian left strict injunctions to have their firelocks, signifying that all our a complete set of the Magazine, neatscintillations were gone, and the great ly bound and lettered, laid on his muffled drum was heard sounding all breast in the coffin, and buried along night through the city. The boilers with him—injunctions which were in all the steam-boats at the Broomie- scrupulously fulfilled by his sonlaw were instantly mum--the callen- contributor. ders stood still-and a thousand spin But this article threatens to become ning-jennies did disconsolately hang lengthy; so we have given you all we down their heads. Several of the Pro« could, and shall let you dream the rest. fessors were too much affected to lec But how felt Scotland when the Rumour
was contradicted ? Precisely as a man not to give way to these sudden ebulunder sentence of death would feel on litions of feeling, which must sooner receiving an unexpected reprieve the or later prove ruinous to her, even night before execution, or rather, on though she should have the constituthe scaffold. Scotland was on the tion of a horse. However, the Public scaffold. She felt as if the rope were certainly might have a crow to pluck round her neck, and she were about with us in private, if she chose; for, to play swing. All at once Rumour had we not given in our resignation, changed his tone, and Scotland could she would have been spared all this bear to live. The effect was like ma worry. But we have found how dear gic. No dead body on a dissecting we are to each other. Henceforth our table ever played such absurd pranks lives are united, and the day on which with foot, hand, or mouth, under a any thing is amiss with the one, will galvanie battery, as did old Scotland, be indeed a black day to the other. when she heard that our resignation May the Public live for ever! for newas all a bam, Grimaldi or Kean was ver never could we outlive the hour a joke to her. She took her foot in on which she was gathered to her faher hand, and so kept dancing about thers. We should just see her publicon the heather, in many a rigmarole. ly buried, and then lie down by her Then would she give a most indeco- side. rous slap upon her back settlements, The day has been when alternate fits accompanied with a yelling gaffaw; of pity, indignation and contempt, perthen she would speak Gaelic; and last- meated our minds on seeing and hear. lý, putting herself in an attitude of ing the occasional fooleries of worthy profound meditation, she would whip men anent Blackwood's Magazine. off a quaich of the mountain dew, as Now every thing of the kind is at an if it had been so much whisky, and, end, and if popularity had ever been with a convulsive shudder of exulting an object with tis, we might indeed joy, shriek out our name - Christo- point to the laurels on our brow, and pher North, Christopher North,” till hold our tongues. But we allude to this, jovial Echo flung back the dear, dear not onour own account, but for the sake name in her face, from the rocky brow of those well-meaning men who res of Glenevis, or the stone-girdled bo- coiled from our patronage, and endeasom of Cairngorum. Loud lowed the voured to look shocked at the monthly cattle on a thousand hills--the red murders we kept conscientiously perpedeer in the forest of Dalness knew trating on the souls and bodies of the that all was right-the eagle, to shew traitorous and blasphemous Whigs. he was up to it, stooped down from a When welaid the axe to the root of the thunder-cloud, and gave a great gan- wicked, great in pride, spread like the der on a common near Fort-William green bay-tree,”and brought him crashsuch a drive on the posteriors, that he ing to the ground with all his branches, drove him into the Linnhe Loch in a could not the terrified Tories have shower of feathers; while a noble, quietly stepped aside out of the reach surly, sable, grim bull, coming slowly of the ruin, and then returned and from his mountain pasture, and meeting danced upon the fallen trunk? No. a questionable sort of animal, with a They were frightened at the concusGalloway stot appearance, ran him sion, and took like rabbits to their into a quagmire, in which he sunk holes; and, what was worse, pretendo down inch by inch, till he entirely ed hypocritically to lament the fall of disappeared—the last snort of his nos- the tree whose noxious drippings had tril blasting out a quantity of mud, withered every thing beneath them, and the red tuft of his tail peering and which was alike destitute of shelout, as a mark where the unfortunate ter and of shade. That time is over. steer had been thus prematurely in- The true Tories always loved us ;gulphed.
the half-breeds never did ; and they Such is an unadornedadorned the most now see, in their unprotected feebleness, account of the Rumour, its rise and fall. that they must endure, as best they And now that the Public must feel tole- can, “not the tyrannous breathing of rably easy and composed in her mind, the North,” but that calm and settled let us entreat her, for goodness sake, chill, beneath which expires the last
glimmering spark of a false Tory's now and then, when they thought the life.
Old Cock of the hundred combats was But how stand we with the Whigs? at a distance, they thrust their noses
We stand over them with a de- through the bars, and ventured on a termined countenance, in which there hesitating crow; this they thought is no trace of pity, while they are shewing pluck,--but on the most dislying prostrate at our feet.' We do tant intimation of our approach all the not greatly value ourselves, that we pens were still, and all our little Whig struck them to the ground. Their warriors panting like mice in the straw. own folly, treachery, and cowardice, But to cut imagery ;-the naked wrought their overthrow,--we only and unadorned fact is, that it had betrod them under feet, --whenever they come customary, about a couple of strove to rise, we floored them--not years ago, for the young dullards of with grassers, but with mirers; and the Whig party to deny our talents ! then holding them up with one hand, “ There is, we grant you, now and punished them with the other, in sight then, some ability in Blackwood !!" of the great ring of Europe. The muttered these wooden oracles, “ but Whigs of the day know our power, very little research !!" On the very and they fear it. First they scorned same principle, we understand that the then they blustered—then they whi- greatest curiosity in the world, now ned-then scorned again—then cried exhibiting on the Earthen Mound, Mr out foul—then fell without a blow Wardle, whomeasuresexactly 28 inches then shewed the white feather, and on his stocking-soles, admits, when drithen bolted. Did not they give the chal- ven into a corner, that the American gilenge ?-And what right have they to ant who is his next-booth neighbour, complain, if we never gave them a is a man of some size, that is, somewhat chance, having youth, blood, bottom, about eight feet high. The candour weight, height, length, strength, and of the small coxcombs in admitting skill all on our side? We said smash occasional symptoms of ability in -and they were smashed.
Ebony, appeared to themselves in the Some few of the Whigs were men most amiable light; and we rememof talents ; and in a small village, like ber one of them, praising the Latin Edinburgh, had been suffered to vaunt translation of Chevy Chase, and in the and vapour, till absolutely none but excess of his erudition, misquoting themselves were deemed worthy to one line into bad grammar and anwag a tongue. They did not relish a other into false quantity. blow on the jugular--and began to “ Some verses in the Chaldee were suspect that when men play at bowls, not amiss!" they were graciously pleathey may meet with rubbers. There sed to own, before several members of was, however, some excuse for the the Stove-School. Our humanity was haughtiness of these gentlemen, who, touched ; and three of these infants we grant, are not altogether utter nin- will remember us taking them aside, nies ;—but, gentle reader, what do you and patting them on their heads, (rathink of the slim-slender-slobbery- ther jacobinically greasy for our taste,) souled scavants, from seventeen to se with a strict injunction never again to ven-and-twenty, who, on our first ap- make such an indecent exposure of pearance, began to cheep and chuckle, their naked intellects. They staredand thought to crow over Christopher they strutted—they stuttered-they North ? What think you of the small scowled ;-but we were inexorable; Whiglings of the Parliament-House, and commanding silence, on pain of a with incipient coxcombs, and nascent Notice, they then and thenceforth held spurs, taking a fly at the old Cock of their peace. the North, all dubbed and steeled for
In every circle of society that is the the sod, fed, clipped out, and vic- size of a Swedish turnip, there is a torious in a hundred mains ? We had man or two of wit, possibly an old no ambition to be a chicken-butcher; maid. They pun-say sharp things but we took into our beak these little and write quatrains. Their witticisms deluded dunghills, and after a few are like caraway comfits to the butterstrokes, drove them in consternation ed toast at tea-parties; and “ if they to their beparritched cavies. Every would but publish, how their writings
would sell !" The Tee-totum School sale to have risen 3000 since our last is on the whole whiggish. When report. When the sale of a Magazine Ebony was talked of, in every such reaches 20,000, it assumes à stationary party of six, there were at least three appearance. Perhaps it is still contirejected contributors. “ Our person- nuing to increase, but the imagination ality was odious," snuffed and hissed is not affected by the addition of a few out the spiteful tabbies and surly tom- scores or hundreds to so many thoucats of the coterie. “He makes game sands, and the state of the mind is of personal infirmities,” quoth a sour sceptical. Had we not created so many black virgin plumb-damasc;" but let other excellent Magazines, it cannot the old hobbling
varlet look to his own admit of a doubt that our sale would, rheumatism." Thither repaired the ere now, have been 40,000, which pigmy praters of the Whigs, and quo- proves, to a demonstration, that our ted Jeffrey against us. The young sale is now exactly equal to that of all satirists were pressed to marmalade, the other Magazines put together. and made to sit down to a rubber. No Now, we have a plan to submit to one was there to take our part;-and the consideration of our brother Edibefore “she lay down in her loveli- tors and Proprietors all over the island ness,” the old Christabel drank to our -a plan of a Consolidated Fund. There downfall in a bumper of cogniac. may be objections to it of which we
Most of our enemies have now ceased are not aware, and therefore it is with to be so in the course of nature. The diffidence that we now exhibit an Outclever and middle-aged Whigsare wax- line. ing dull and old, and though still We propose, then, that there shall somewhat peevish, seem prudently dis- be a Magazine, still called Blackwood's posed to let us alone---so may they Magazine, of which we are to be Prime doze and drivel in peace. The weak Editor; but that it shall be published and young Whigs have become middle once a-fortnight, and that the price aged, and their foziness can no longer shall be ten shillings. We think that be concealed, so we have no satisfac- all the small print,-i. e. deaths and tion now in playing with them at foot- marriages, promotions, meteorology, ball. Many ancient maidens have gone &c., may be, once for all, sent to the the way of all flesh, to burial or the Devil, and that the whole ought to nuptial bed, and attack us no more ei- consist of original articles. Each numther in mould or matrimony. We are ber must consist of 500 pages, being often miserably low-spirited for want equal in size to about four numbers of enemies, and know not where to of any living monthly miscellany. It look for a victim to sacrifice to our will thus cost each subscriber L.12 &fury. We have been too long sailing year. Now, each page will average down a quiet stream, and long for a about six ordinary octavos, so that waterfall over which we might plump each number will contain about 3000, into a more lively and troubled exist- or be equal to about ten good whack ence. At one time the hands of many ing volumes. A year produces twenmen were against us, but now every ty-four numbers, or 240 good whackpaw is at peace-we can no longer wear ing volumes, all for L.12, which is exgloves-and our head nods like that actly one shilling a head. Now in this of a Mandarin in perpetual saluta- way, we conceive, could 50,000 lition. We are oppressed by the polite- braries be formed in a single year all ness, and fear that we shall eventual over Great Britain and Ireland. Noly sink under the gratitude, of the hu- body will be so absurd as to believe man race.
that the sale would stop at 50,000. But somewhat too much of this; so But we shall call it only 50,000, as it let us speak a few words about our is pleasant to reason within safe limits, sale. Mr Blackwood and We have even in a grand speculation. A steady lately had some trifling disputes on annual sale of 50,000 produces the this point. He seems to us, why we grand total of L.600,000, to a single know not, anxious to conceal the li- farthing. We shall say that printing, mits of his circulation. He will not &c., costs L.200,000, or one-third of own to 20,000, though we think we have the whole. That the proprietors and data to go upon, when we assert the the trade in general draw another third,