by eight o'clock; and their departure was the signal for the mob which occupied the Parliament Square to move to the High Street, where, and on the Bridges, they continued to throw squibs, and crackers, fire off pistols, &c. till eleven or twelve o'clock.

One of the chief amusements of the vulgar assemblage, at this time, was the throwing of dead cats, fish heads, and every sort of garbage that could be procured, at one another, or among the crowd. Every well-dressed person was sure to have some of those dirty zoological specimens levelled at him as he passed through the multitude; and I myself, when serving the office of high constable, well recollect, after having been greeted with a slimy cod's head, and turning round to see who had destroyed my hat and coat by its administration, felt my neck embraced by the claws of a half-dead grey eat, which was following its friend the cod's head in its aërial excursion. Every projecting stair and close-head was filled by females of the lower ranks, who : posted themselves in these situations to see the fun, and to those receptacles of feminine delicacy were the squibs oftenest directed, for the purpose of producing a rush and a squall, or singeing a few mutches, not to mention more serious accidents which sometimes occurred. The ringing of all the bells in all the steeples increased the noisy demonstrations of loyalty in the streets almost to stunning, while the consta bles of those days (constables were then gentlemen) walked among the crowd to preserve the peace from being broken by any very flagrant disturbance, till the hour of ten or eleven called the crowd to their beds, and the said constables to a supper, partly furnished from the city funds.

I do not know how it has happened, but till the French Revolution, and the appearance of the friends of the people in Edinburgh, this noisy celebration of regal birth generally went off in good humour, without farther harm to the lieges than a dirty coat or

singed whiskers. But the seeds sown by the worthies who thus styled themselves, have since rendered the King's Birth-day, and every other assemblage of the idle, a scene of turbulence and mischief. If the Town Guard were then a little roughly handled, it was all in vulgar humour and rude merriment; and though these singularly useful animals were pelted with mud and garbage, it never changed the imperturbable expression of their weather-beaten countenances. A goodnatured threat, or a friendly admonition, was all their revenge. The seizure of a Lochaber axe would scarcely have produced more than a "tam her shoul." Then Jamie Laing, worth a whole host of modern policemen, held the few vagabonds we possessed in awe; and the Council Chamber, as then conducted, preserved the unmanageably-disposed from becoming more unmanageable.-Now the contrast is most striking. One cannot walk at night without his pockethandkerchief pinned to his pocket, and his watch hung in chains round his neck; and should things go on much farther at this rate, one will require to go hand-cuffed to preserve their coat, and have their shoes padlocked to their legs to ensure them against being run away with.

The use of gunpowder in crackers has now given way to the contrivances of modern chemistry. I almost leaped over a table lately, at the detonation occasioned by pulling a fold of paper, including fulminating powder, from the hand of my youngest boy, and broke a china jug in alarm at a cracker or bomb, which went off on being thrown forcibly on the ground. I do hope that the discoveries of science may stop before going much farther; as in a short time, in place of a dinner of three courses, and a comfortable crack over a bottle of wine for an afternoon, we may soon be taught to supply the stomach with beef gas in a second, and get hearty over a single inspiration of concentrated claret.*

THE late Sir Joseph Banks, according to a book of poems set forth by a person named 'Peter Pindar, was once seized in a ditch where he was herborizing, on suspicion of his being a murderer, concealing himself from the fangs of justice. That Sir Joseph was not singular in the accident which befel him, and that the best of men are subject to be misrepresented in their persons and callings, the following relation of what happened to myself will afford a melancholy proof.

Angling at some distance from the city one fine day, the hours of which flew so swiftly by, that I really thought honest old Time had been more than usually quick in his paces, I was caught at dusk, hungry and tired, by the side of the Water of Leith, a good distance beyond the village of Colinton. Unscrewing my rod, I left the trouts to their own meditations, and hastened to my friend Mr Alexander Southdown's, at Woodhall; where a good fire, and good cheer, assisted the passing of an hour or two more, ere I thought of returning home. At last the hour of nine struck in Mr Alexander's eight-day clock, and I started up. Good Alexander, indeed, would have had me to stay all night; but as I had an engagement for next morning, which could not be conveniently put off, I resolved to adventure forth, in spite of the dangers of robbery, and the terror of apparitions. The night was

SHAKESPEARE, Henry IV.

pitchy dark when I sallied forth, and the removal of the candle at parting, tended to make it appear to me still more so. The geography of the farmyard being but partially sketched in my remembrance, I had not gone beyond a few yards, before I got above mid-leg in a cundy which divided the middent from the cow-houses or byres. An angler does not mind wet feet; and at one bound I cleared the receptacle of fluid manure, and made a lodgment upon the shelving edge of the hillock of stable-cleanings.

Pursuing my course round the base of the fermenting knoll for an outlet, my progress was stopt by what my shins told me were the trams of a cart or carts, and I was forced to return, groping my way with the fishing-rod extended before me. Arriving again at the margin of the cundy, and feeling no particular desire to have my legs wet over again, I coursed along its side, and finding nothing to interrupt my progress, I went fearlessly on for a few steps, till I heard, or fancied I heard, the plashing of water under my feet. In a second more, O reader, I was up to the knees in that necessary receptacle of water, called a duke-dub. was bad enough, but I consoled myself with the reflection that it might have been much worse-a mill-pond; and as I was not quite certain of my being amphibious, I retreated as fast as pos sible in the opposite direction.

This

* Consult Dr Jamieson's Dictionary.

+ Ditto. + Ditto.

|| Ditto.

I had now every wish to call out for assistance; and but for affording a joke at my expence to Mr Southdown and his servants, I should certainly have done so. Resolved to persevere, however, I again, after stamping the water out of my shoes as well as I could, proceeded to feel my way as before, till I came to what seemed a little railing or paling; from the inside of which proceeded something like the tones of a human voice. Thinking this to be one of the cottar-houses which surrounded the farm-steading, and that the paling enclosed a little flower-plot before the door, I ventured to knock with my rod for admittance-bending forward my body over the railing, to catch the first sound or sight of the inmates. But I had not stood half a minute in this situation, ere I felt a blow on my body from behind, which pitched me fairly over the enclosure, and laid me unce remoniously on a bed of dirty straw, occupied by half a dozen pigs. Reader, I was tumbled by an invisible power into Mr Southdown's hog-stye.

The gentle animals, whether disturbed in their sweet slumbers, or interrupted in their dreams by apparitions of the butcher's knife and scalding tub, by my unexpected intrusion, set up a cry in chorus, which, I must do them the justice to say, seemed "more in sorrow than in anger." The noise soon brought some of my own species to my assistance, and I had not recovered my feet after my unlooked for somerset, ere I heard a voice bawl out, " De'il's in't, if that's no somebody stealing the pigs. Kirsty, bring a light and cry for Tam. They'll no get them sae easy as they got my dukes."-A candle immediately appeared in the hand of a middle-aged country damsel, who started out from a door on my right; and Geordy Mowdiewart the ploughman, who was the person who spoke, seized a grape, (dung-fork,) and came up to my entrenchment, calling out as loud as he could bellow, "Tam! Mr Southdown! here's a thief stealing the pigs !"

All this was transacted so quickly, that I had scarcely time to recover my legs, and none assuredly to make any explanation; and Geordy, raising his dung-fork to give a blow, came down with it in the direction in which I was, crying, "Tak that, ye scoundrel, for a mark." Self-preservation is the first law of nature, and nobody would willingly be killed at night by a clown

with a dung-fork. With a presence of mind for which our family has been long famous, or with an instinct which leads man to value his own life more than that of a quadruped, I snatched up one of my little fellow companions in both hands, and held him in the direction of the blow, which fell of course on his unoffending head. A squeak and a groan testified, as plainly as an unlearned pig could testify, that he bade adieu for ever to all sublunary objects. Geordy fortunately did not repeat the blow; for Kirsty had followed him at a distance with the candle, and with that humanity which characterizes, and which, I trust, will ever characterize the fair sex in our unrivalled country, cried out when she saw the uplifted weapon ready for a second stroke, "Lordsake, Geordy, man, dinna strike; it's maybe for want that the poor man's stealin'-it's maybe out o' perfect needcessity."

Tam now made his appearance bareheaded, and without his stockings; Mr Southdown himself hastened to the spot; half-a-dozen lights peeped from the doors of the different cottages; and a yelping of dogs shewed that it was no light matter to attempt the theft of a pig from the farm-yard at Woodhall. I was recognized by my creel and fishing-rod; Geordy stood gaping at the blood on my face and hands, unwitting if he had committed the crime of murder or manslaughter; but a smile which he detected on my countenance, amidst the soil of the stye which disfigured my physiognomy, and the dead pig, which I still held in my hand, soon let him understand that banishment or hanging would not follow his present adventure. I was forthwith taken to the house to explain the mystery of my situation, and the poor pig, whose recovery seemed hopeless, was ordered to have its throat cut, "that the blood mightna spoil the flesh."

In spite of the premature death of the pig, my kind host could not help laughing at my stupid blundering, nor could I myself finish my narrative with any thing like decent composure. The only circumstance which I could not account for, was my being so suddenly whisked over the paling of the stye by an incontrollable force, which luckily, however, was applied to a part of the body where the bones were well protected, and I only felt the sensation of a slight contusion. It seemed in

my mind to be more like the force of a balista, a catapulta, or battering ram, or like a right-handed hit judiciously planted by my friend Mr Cribb, than any other species of mechanical force with which I was acquainted. Mr Southdown, however, after some cogitation, declared he had found it out; and rubbing his hands in ecstasy at the discovery, shouted out, "De'il's in't if it can be ony thing else than the tup pet the callants had learned to box," that was the operator in this behind-hand manner of applying physical strength.

Geordy now began to apologize for the part he had taken in the scene, and hoped I wasna hurt, for he would rather have broken his leg than dune me the slightest injury, had he known wha I was; but, 'deed, sir, if ye kent how we're troubled wi' tinklers, and thae kind o' folk, and how Kirsty lost twa dukes no a week ago, forbye the chickens that were ta en awa' by the tod, it's eneugh to pit a body in a passion, and hard for poor folk to lose their substance by landloupers, vermin, and vagabonds.""Ye're ay ower rash wi' your hands, Geordy," said Mrs Christian; "ye're ay ower rash; for it's no a year yet till Hallowe'en sin' ye killed our ain dog, striking at a foumart the puir beast was worrying."

By the assistance of my worthy and hospitable friend, I now changed my apparel, which, with blood, dirt, and water of various descriptions, too tedious to be here enumerated, was totally unfitting for present wear; substituting for my own pantaloons, the corduroy breeches of a man twice my size, sliding myself into a coat which might have contained the body of a bailie, and drawing on a pair of blue worsted stockings, which ascended to near my watch-chain. I have no doubt that I made a most grotesque figure; and as I felt some difficulty in managing my new appointments, my worthy friend insisted that I should take his poney, "which kent every stane o' the road, though it war the mark hour o' midnight. Ye hae naething to do," said he," but to leave the beast at Reid's, in the Candlemaker-Row, and I'll send a callant in for't in the morning." This offer was too much to my taste to be refused. I had rather ride than walk at any time. So the poney was saddled; my fishing-basket, or trout-creel, as Geordy called it, was

slung over my shoulder; and with my rod in my right hand, and the bridle in my left, I was lighted past the cundy, the midden, and the pig-stye, and set fairly on the road to Edin burgh.

I jogged on at a quiet trot, till, coming down a lane near Colinton, and riding near the side of the road, which was at that place overhung by trees, I received a smart blow on the chops with a stick, which seemed to have come from some person on the other side of the dike. As it is the duty of every man to resist all attempts at injury of his person or spoliation of his goods, I raised my fishing-rod, unfortunately my only weapon, and struck with my utmost strength in the direction from whence I conceived the blow to proceed. My rod broke in two with the violence of the stroke, leaving part of it in my hand; and being now without other weapon of offence or defence, I hope it is no imputation on my courage to say, that I hurried forward to avoid farther mischief.

I had not much passed the village of Colinton, when I overtook a man, apparently a farmer, on horseback before me. As he seemed to be going the same road, I thought I could not do better than join company for mutual protection, and with that view pushed the poney alongside the horse of the stranger. As soon as I came within hearing, I saluted him by saying, "Dark night, friend!" He made no reply, but turned his horse to the other side of the road. I followed, or rather the poney followed, for the sake of society likewise I presume. "Will you allow me to bear you company, friend?" again I said. "Mind your

ain concerns and I'll mind mine," said he, setting off at a quick trot. Unwilling to be repulsed by a shew of incivility, I put spurs to the poney, explaining to the stranger, that if he were going to Edinburgh, I should be glad of his company, for the road was, in my opinion, not very safe. "Ye's hae nae company frae me," said he, riding still faster ;-"I dinna like sic associates, an if it be God's will ye's no hae my bluid to answer for this night," continued he, putting his horse to its utmost speed. My poney, whether from sympathy or fun, required but little inducement to go at the same pace, and on we splattered as we had been riding for a saddle at a yeomanry race,-the man's breathing