in him to come into company without merriment, as for a highwayman to take the road without his piftols."- "Has not a great

deal of wit, Sir ?"-JOHNSON. "I do not think fo, Sir. He is, indeed, continually attempting wit, but he fails. And I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it *."

A writer of deferved eminence being mentioned, Johnson faid, "Why, Sir, he is a man of good parts; but being originally poor, he has got a love of mean company and low jocularity; a very bad thing, Sir. To laugh is good, as to talk is good. But you ought no more to think it enough if you laugh, than you are to think it enough if you talk. You may laugh in as many ways as you talk; and furely every way of talking that is practifed cannot be efteemed."

One being named as a very learned man."Yes, Sir (faid Johnson), he has a great deal of learning; but it never lies ftraight.

* Garrick once remarked of the Doctor himself, "Rabelais and all other wits are nothing compared with him.You may be diverted by them; but Johnfon gives you a forcible hug, and shakes laughter out of you, whether you will or no." Mrs. Thrale juftly and wittily faid, that "Johnfon's converfation was much too ftrong for a perfon accuftom. ed to obfequioufnefs and flattery; it was muftard in a young child's mouth."

There

There is never one idea by the fide of another; 'tis all entangled; and then he drives it aukwardly upon conversation."

"People (he remarked) may be taken in once, who imagine that an author is greater in private life than other men. Uncommon parts require uncommon opportunities for their exertion. In barbarous fociety, fuperiority of parts is of real confequence. Great ftrength or great wifdom is of much value to an individual. But in more polished times there are people to do every thing for money and then there are a number of other fuperioritics, fuch as thofe of birth and fortune, and rank, that diffipate mens' attention, and leave no extraordinary fhare of refpect for perfonal and intellectual fuperiority. This is wifely ordered by Providence, to preferve fome equality among mankind.

When Mr. B. one day complained of having dined at a fplendid table without hearing one fentence of converfation worthy of being remembered, he faid, "Sir, there feldom is any fuch converfation."-Boswell. "Why then meet at table?"-JOHNSON. "Why to eat and drink together, and promote kindness; and, Sir, this is better done when there is no folid converfation; for when there is, people differ in opinion, and get into bad humour, or fome of the company who are not capable of fuch

con

converfation, are left out, and feel themfelves uncafy."

An author of confiderable eminence having engroffed a good fhare of a converfation, and having faid nothing but what was trifling and infignificant,Johnson, when he was gone, obferved, "It is wonderful what a difference there fometimes is between a man's powers of writing and

of talking. ******* writes with great fpirit, but is a poor talker; had he held his tongue we might have fuppofed him to have been restrained by modefty: but he has spoken a great deal to-day, and you have heard what stuff it

Talking of an acquaintance diftinguished for knowing an uncommon variety of miscellaneous articles both in antiquities and polite literature, he obferved, "You know, Sir, he runs about with little weight upon his mind." And talking of another very ingenious gentleman, who from the warmth of his temper was at variance with many of his acquaintance, and wifhed to avoid them, he said, "Sir, he leads the life of an outlaw."

Being irritated by hearing a gentleman ask Mr. Levett a variety of queftions concerning him when he was fitting by, he broke out, “Sir, you have but two topics, yourself and me. I am fick of both."-" A man (faid he) fhould

not

not talk of himfelf, nor much of any particular perfon. He fhould take care not to be made a proverb; and therefore fhould avoid having any one topick of which people can fay, We shall hear him upon it.' There was a Dr. Oldfield, who was always talking of the Duke of Marlborough; he came into a coffee-house one day, and told that his Grace had spoken in the Houfe of Lords for half an hour. "Did he indeed speak for half an hour?' (said Belchier, the furgeon ;) 'Yes.' 'And what did he fay of Dr. Oldfield?' 'Nothing.' 'Why then, Sir, he was very ungrateful; for Dr. Oldfield could not have spoken for a quarter of an hour without faying fomething of him.'

One evening, in company, an ingenious and learned gentleman read a letter of compliment which he had received from one of the Profeffors of a Foreign Univerfity. Johnfon, in an irritable fit, thinking there was too much oftentation, faid, "I never receive any of thefe tributes of applaufe from abroad. One inftance I recollect of a foreign publication, in which mention is made of l'illuftre Lockman."

A learned gentleman, who in the course of converfation wifhed to inform the company of this fimple fact, that the Counsel upon the circuit at Shrewsbury were much bitten by fleas, took feven or eight minutes in relating it cir

cum

cumftantially. He in a plentitude of phrase told, that large bales of woollen cloth were lodged in the town-hall; that, by reason of this, fleas neftled there in prodigious numbers; that the lodgings of the Counsel were near the town-hall; and that thofe little animals moved from place to place with wonderful agility.— Johnson fat in great impatience till the gentleman had finished his tedious narrative, and then burft out (playfully however), "It is a pity, Sir, that -you have not seen a lion; for a flea has taken you fuch a time, that a lion must have ferved you a twelvemonth."

A dull country magiftrate once gave Johnson a long tedious account of his excrcifing his criminal jurifdiction, the refult of which was his having fentenced four convicts to transportation. Johnson, in an agony of impatience to get rid of fuch a companion, exclaimed, "I heartily with, Sir, that I were a fifth."

At another time, having argued at fome length with a pertinacious gentleman, his opponent, who had talked in a very puzzling manner, happened to fay, "I don't understand you, Sir;" upon which Johnson obferved, "Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding."