The National Magazine.

SEPTEMBER, 1857.

EDITORIAL NOTES AND GLEANINGS.

WILLIAM L. MARCY.-By the public press of every political creed, the name of this eminent statesman, now that he has passed away, is mentioned with respect; and well-deserved tributes are paid to his memory. Even those who most bitterly opposed him while living are among the foremost, now that he is dead, to do justice to his character as a man, and to his abilities as a statesman.

He was born on the 12th of December, 1786, and died at Ballston Spa, on the 4th of July, 1857. He was a student of Brown University, where he graduated in 1808. In the war of 1812 he volunteered as a lieutenant of light infantry, and it was his company which had the good fortune to capture the first flag won by the land forces in that war. Among the civil offices held by him were those of Recorder of the City of Troy; Comptroller of the State of New York; Justice of the Supreme Court of this State; United States senator; Governor of New York, to which office he was three times elected; Secretary of War during President Polk's administration; and Secretary of State during that of President Pierce. In all these positions he displayed talents of a high order, and by the faithful discharge of every duty he has left a name that will ever rank highly among those of America's greatest states

men.

BROTHER CROAKER.-The Congregationalist, one of the best religious papers on our exchange list, paints the portrait of this well-known brother in colors so life-like that we recognized him at the first glance. We knew him very well in former years. He was not a Calvinist then, but it seems that he has been a diligent student since he found a home within that ecclesiastical inclosure. We trust he is predestinated to stay there until his course is finished. "Brother Croaker is a brother whom, having onco seen, you will be apt to remember. His bodily presence affects your nerves like a raw, drizzly day in November. The forehead is low and aslant; the eyes, closely fitted in near the narrow bridge of the nose, remind you of the expression of a Jewish clothesdealer's. The mouth is compressed into the firmness and rigidity of the lock-jaw; there is about its lines a downright, 'no-use-to-talk' expression, which keeps you off at a respectful distance. The moment your eye falls on his face, the idea of looking to it for sympathy strikes you as having something fantastic in its absurdity; you would as soon expect sympathy from the cold grave-stone of a pawnbroker.

"Brother Croaker's spiritual part fully sustains the impression made by his physiognomy. His mission' in the world is evidently to keep his neighbors all right; and for himself--that is his own business. His evidences of personal acceptance with God resolve themselves all into one brief sentence, he is orthodox. It is true, you never meet him at evening prayer-meetings. He lives too far off, and his health is rather feeble, (though on Lyceum lecture nights, he thanks the Lord, he is somewhat stronger,) and, moreover, Mrs. Croaker dislikes to be left alone. He wishes the meetings were better attended, and wonders that brethren living near the church don't more of them ⚫turn out.'

"The whole matter of collections and contributions is an eye-sore to him. He would about as willingly

have a loaded revolver thrust at him, as a contribution box. Collections, he thinks, come too often. Once in six months is enough in all reason. Charity begins at home. There are too many societies, doing nothing but paying fat salaries to treasurers and secretaries out of the hard work of God's people. It's all folly to be squandering precious money on so many wild schemes to civilize Patagonians and Kamschatkans. The missionary collector, calling at Brother Croaker's door, has a task about as agreeable as wrenching a bone from a hungry mastiff. If the example of good deacon A., who gives away half his income, is commended to him, he thinks it impertinence. He always thought the deacon had a soft spot in his head; and he is growing sure of it now; for a fool and his money are soon parted.'

"As to family worship-he expects the minister, whenever he calls at the house, (and woe to him if that is not often,) to pray with them all; but for himself, he feels inadequate, though he does muster courage to speak, when, in a town meeting, Young America threatens to vote away money and raise his taxes.

"Pressing personal religion home on the souls of his children he finds embarrassing, and never attempts it. It is true, they are all growing up without God in the world, but he comforts himself by charging all that over to the account of Divine Sovereignty.

"Brother Croaker has one favorite hobby, namely, ecclesiastical litigation. A council called by the Church, especially in any embarrassing case, is a perfect Godsend to him. It is really wonderful to see how readily he contrives to excuse himself from Mrs. Croaker, and how heroically his feeble health rallies for the great occasion. Let the council hold one session, or a dozen, in the morning, or till midnight, in fair weather or forward, with his elbows on the back of the scat befoul, Brother Croaker is sure to appear, leaning eagerly fore him, his projected chin on his open palms, and his gray eyes, that so often are drowsy in Church, as restless as those of grimalkin with a mouse in full view.

"We have already intimated that he atones for any harmless little peculiarities, by the rich savor of his orthodoxy. He knows the five points of Calvinism as he knows his five fingers, and keeps vigilant watch over the faith once delivered to the saints. But es. pecially he maintains a sharp look out for the minisIf ever that hapless personage lets slip a word about the innocence of childhood, or the amiability of

ter.

worldly men, Brother Croaker is after him at once with the hue and cry of heresy, and the poor pastor begins to doubt his own identity, on waking up some morning to find himself a full-blooded Unitarian, if not a Parkerite, a ravening wolf in sheep's clothing. If it should so happen that the pastor's orthodoxy is established and unassailable, Brother Croaker finds, in the matter and manner of his sermons, prolific themes

for comment. His most comprehensive remark, and most convenient, as saving the trouble of specification, is, that there's nothing in the sermons anyhow; all froth.'

"He groans with unction over the departure of good Mr. P., the last pastor, and would give the world if only he could return; albeit a little inquiry of Mr. P. will reveal to you that he reckoned Brother Croaker the sorest affliction ever visited upon him.

"He begins shortly to intermingle forebodings with his criticisms, like the few low thunder-peals before a storm. Matters cannot go on long at this rate; that's clear. Everything is going to ruin, and if nobody else but him has discovered it, nobody else looks far enough ahead. Our estimable brother has a memory wondrously retentive of all tart remarks on the minister, by whomsoever dropped. He does for the parish the same service which that pan which receives all drippings of sour, curdled milk does for the dairy. He understood Squire A., who professes to be one of the pastor's best friends, to say that he did not think the last sermon he listened to was quite clear on election, and Dr. B. was lately heard complaining that Homeopathy was too much in favor at the parsonage; and Mrs. C. says she will keep her feathers if the minister does preach that the fashion of this world passeth away. With these and like weighty evidences that a crisis is approaching, Brother Croaker proceeds to worry the pastor into asking a dismission, by which everybody else in the parish is surprised and grieved; but nobody more so than Squire A., Dr. B., and Mrs. C.

"Brother Croaker is ready to acknowledge, in general terms, that he is a miserable sinner, that he was shapen in iniquity and in sin did his mother conceive him; but call his attention to any special and favorite

infirmity of his, an inveterate attachment to dollars, for example, and you get a lesson for your impertinence that you won't forget for a life-time. He knows what regeneration is, and he knows that he experienced religion' twenty years ago and more; he can give you the precise date, and all the circumstances. Moreover, he believes in the perseverance of the saints, and that's enough for him, and he don't want any of your questions about his present enjoyment of secret prayer, and all that.

"Brother Croaker is just as sure there is one of the 'many mansions' fitted up in waiting for him as if he had already taken up his quarters in it, being confident that no questions will be asked of a churchmember, like himself, in good and regular standing," but expecting to take possession very much as the rightful owner of property long in the hands of an agent steps in at last and claims his own."

BOOTS AND WHITE CHOKERS.-Dr. Bethune, in an address to theological students at Rochester, said, that when he was young no preacher ever went into the pulpit in boots, but always wore shoes; and he believed there was as much of comfort as custom in it. No one can preach well in tight boots. He inveighed against the "white choker" as unclassical and indefensible. The writers on ancient customs tell us nothing about bandages for the throat, and in early days none but slaves and felons wore the "halter." There is no reason, therefore, why the clergy should garrote themselves in these days.

CURIOUS REASONING.-Dr. Zinchinelli, of Padua, in an "Essay on Reasons why People use the Right Hand in preference to the Left," will not allow custom or imitation to be the cause. He affirms that the left arm cannot be in violent or continued motion without causing pain in the left side, because there is the seat of the heart and of the arterial system; and that, therefore, nature herself compels man to make use of the right hand.

QUAINT CUSTOM.-At Marseilles, in France, on Ash Wednesday, there is a ceremony called "interring the carnival." A whimsical figure is dressed up to represent the carnival, and is carried in procession to Arrieus, a small seaside village, when it is pulled to pieces. This ceremony is attended, in some way or other, by every inhabitant of Marseilles, whether gentle or simple, man or woman, boy or girl.

SINGULAR INTERMENT.-The following curious entry is in the register of Lymington Church, under the year 1736: "Samuel Baldwin, Esq., sojourner in this parish, was immersed (i. e., sunk in the sea) without the Needles sans ceremonie, May 20." This was performed in consequence of the earnest wish of the deceased on his deathbed, to disappoint his wife, who, in their matrimonial squabbles, had assured him that if she survived him, she would dance on

was

merrily upon the clinching nail. But for it, a wretched, poking, paltry gimlet, its work hidden away, and the little use it seemed to be of, was all soon put to the credit of that stout interloper the nail. However, a little unseen fairy, hovering about the glue-pot, kindly took occasion to comfort poor gimlet, as thus:

"Is there one tool in the whole kit of them that our master, Mr. Teak, makes more use of than of you? And which of them can he forego less easily? (for, of course, your brother, the bradall, is with you in this plaint.) Though every tool has its special excellence, still many of those you envy might be superseded by neighbors. The ax will hew down an oak pretty nearly as well as the saw will cut it; the adze will smooth away roughnesses at least half as neatly as the plane; the knife (if our worshipful guild of carpenters did not unreasonably repudiate such an instrument) could carve a cornice better than the chisel: but nothing would compensate for your absence; no, not even your cousin the augur; for neither nail nor screw will hold after him. Be content; nay, more, be happy. Though your work seems mean and secret, though there is nothing of outward show, nothing of open praise, still, O gimlet, you are the most useful, and therefore, I need scarcely add, not the least honorable of the workman's tools. It is to your good offices that to your quiet influences, the neatness, the solidity, the he chiefly looks for coherence without splitting; and comfort of his structure may greatly be ascribed."

PHILOSOPHY IN COURT.-Mr. Boyden, a civil engineer of Boston, brought a suit in the Supreme Court of Massachusetts against the Atlantic Cotton Mills of Lawrence. Mr. Boyden had agreed to make a turbine water-wheel for the Atlantic Mills, which should save, or "utilize," as it is termed, seventy-six per cent. of the water power; if he succeeded in saving that per centage, he was to have two thousand dollars; if not, he was to have nothing; and for every one per cent. above that, he was to receive three hundred and fifty dollars. Mr. Boyden went to work and produced a wheel which saved, as he affirmed, ninety-six per cent. The labor involved in this result may be imagined, from the fact that Mr. Boyden spent more than five thousand dollars in the mere mathematical calculations. The company had provided no sufficient means of testing the question practically, and as the per centage claimed by Mr. Boyden was altogether unprecedented, they contested the claim. The case went into court. No jury could comprehend the question, and the learned bench found itself entirely at fault. The case was accordingly referred to three well-chosen parties: Judge Joel Parker, of Cambridge; Professor Benjamin Pierce, the mathematician; and James B. Francis, the agent of the united companies of Lowell, in the management of the common water power. Professor Parker furnished the law, Mr. Francis the practical acquaintance with hydraulics, and Professor Pierce the mathematical knowledge. That learned geometer had to dive deep and study long before the problem was settled. But settled it was at last, and in Mr. Boyden's favor, to whom the referees awarded the sum of eighteen thousand seven hundred dollars. Mr. Boyden had previously constructed turbine wheels that utilized respectively the extraor dinary amounts of eighty-nine and ninety per cent.; the last wheel, utilizing ninety-six per cent., exceeds anything of the kind that was ever made. The wheel is one hundred and four and three quarter inches in diameter.

THE PANAMA RAILROAD is described by Bishop Janes as the greatest wonder of the Isthmus. Often, says the bishop, when traveling on Northern railroads, as I have passed through deep excavations in the granite rock or well-made tunnels through opposing mountains, have I paid a spontaneous but silent tribute of glowing admiration to the genius and enterprise which have thus opened and graded these thoroughfares of inland commerce and these highways of journeying humanity. But the Panama Railroad is the greatest achievement of them all. Built in the same latitude, and under similar circumstances with some of these other roads, it would be an inferior work. But the sickliness and lassitude of the climate, the great difficulty of obtaining laborers who could at all endure it, the great distance that the materials had to be imported, and other serious embarrassments, rendered the enterprise one of unrivaled interest. The mere survey of the route, through tropical swamps and over chaparalcovered hills, was a service of difficulty, of danger, of skill, of courage, and of perseverance rarely equaled. The first twelve miles of the road from Aspinwall is across a morass, so soft, when the vines, and reeds, and shrubs were cleared off, that piles sixty feet long would settle down out of sight by their own weight; yet across this almost bottomless slough, bringing timbers from the States, and stone and dirt from a great distance, a substantial railroad has been built. The road is about forty-eight and a half miles in length, and, with its dépôts and running stock, has cost the company about eight millions of dollars!

THE NEW CENT furnishes a theme for ridicule in every direction. The omission of the word 'Liberty," heretofore found on our American coins, it is said, renders it more acceptable in certain portions of this great Republic. A German paper, published in Baltimore, says:

"The unsightly, humpbacked eagle will never soar high enough to reach the throne of Jupiter. Images of the king of birds are found in such variety upon ancient coins, that one would suppose it easier to select from among them a suitable device than to con

boatman added, that the needle pointed to the south! Wishing to change the subject, I remarked that I concluded he was about to proceed to some high festival or merry-making, as his dress was completely white. He told me, with a look of much dejection, that his brother died the week before, and that he was in the deepest mourning for him. On landing, the first object that attracted my notice was a military mandarin, who wore an embroidered petticoat, with a string of beads round his neck, and who, besides, carried a fan; it was with some dismay I observed him mount on my attention was drawn to several old Chinese standthe right side of his horse. On my way to the house, ing on stilts, some of whom had gray beards, and nearly all of them huge goggling spectacles; they were delightedly employed in flying paper kites, while a group of boys were gravely looking on, and regarding the innocent occupation of their seniors with the most serious and gratified attention. Desirous to see the literature of so curious a people, I looked in at a book store. The proprietor told me that the language had no alphabet, and I was sofnewhat astonished, on his opening a Chinese volume, to find him begin at what I had all my life previously considered the end of the book. He read the date of the publication-The fifth year, tenth month, twenty-third day.' 'We arrange our dates differently,' I observed; and begged that he would speak of their ceremonials. He commenced by saying, When you receive a distinguished guest, do not fail to place him on your left hand, for that is the seat of honor; and be cautious not to uncover the head, as it would be an unbecoming act of familiarity.""

The action of galvanism in the earth upon iron and steel has been recently tested by an eminent London cutler. Observing that steel seemed to be much improved when it had become eroded in the earth, he made the experiment by burying razor-blades and parcels of iron in the earth, where he let them remain undisturbed for three years. On removing them he found that the steel in the razor-blades had very much improved, and that from the iron he procured different varieties of steel, from the most inferior to the most unequaled quality. This conversion is attributed to the galvanism in the earth.

GOOD ADVICE.-A lecturer inquiring of a clergyman," How long a discourse do you suppose your people will bear?" was told he hadn't better try the experiment.

daily before the eyes of the million should not-be a deformity."

"It is," another critic says, "base, alloyed metal, and looks shame-faced about it. It is neither fish, flesh, nor fowl! simply one of those abortions of amalgamation for which Germany has been so long noted, and which we utterly abominate. The eagle on the one side looks like a butterfly with lopped wings, or a fish-hawk rising from a missed swoop after a sea-bass. The coining is worse done than that of any other piece ever issued from the mint, every coin being uneven in thickness at one edge and the other."

The unfortunate eagle, according to a wag who is fond of a pun, seems to be going somewhere "in a desperate hurry, probably because he has just got on a new scent."

CHINESE CUSTOMS THE ANTIPODES OF ENGLISH. -The very striking contrarieties in comparison with our own, is amusingly given in the following extract from a work published at Macao:

"On inquiring of a boatman in which direction Macao lay, I was answered, in the west-north, the wind, as I was informed, being east-south. We do not say so in Europe, thought I; but imagine my surprise when, in explaining the utility of the compass, the

go, and I advise you to adopt the same rule."

NAMES.-Names have mnemonic power; a vocabulary of their meanings would be as sweet as the songs of the Troubadors. It would be like breaking into old royal tombs, the laying bare of old battle fields, the disclosing of old fossils. We should wonder how much of poetry, of history, of biography, may be wrapped up in painted with a word or two. a couple of syllables; what pictures may be The learned language of Europe can have nothing more beautiful than the dialects of the red children of the West; and yet that word " dilapidated"-it would take the happiest day that Angelo ever saw to paint it; the stone apart from stone, the crumbling wall, the broken turret strewn among the weeds. The word "disastered"—without a star; so pity him the poet sings: "In his own loose revolving field, the swain disaster'd stands." What a night, what a winter's night was that! The history of a race may be folded in a word. The "curfew" that tolls in Gray's

Elegy what a tale its tones are telling of the times of the old Norman; how it lets us into the secret of domestic economy eight centuries ago; how it sets the bells a ringing, and covers the Saxon fires, and plays Othello with the light of home.

HOW A SUN-STRoke affects MAN.-The general impression is that death by sun-stroke is very painful, but the contrary would seem to be the fact, judging from the following account of the effect of such a visitation, given by General Sir C. J. Napier. He experienced an attack while in Scinde, where the thermometer, according to the general himself, was of as much use to him as it would have been to a boiling lobster, and wrote as follows to one of his daughters:

"The sun-stroke was a staggerer; yet my hope is to die by one, for never can death come in an easier shape. I was just deadly sleepy; it was deadly had I been left alone; but the only feeling of the transition would have been a tiredness, like that experienced at being suddenly waked up before time. This was to a degree almost to be called painful; then came a pleasant drowsiness, with anger that the doctors would not let me sleep. Were it not for others, would that my horn had then sounded-so easy, so delightful, I may say, was the approach of death."

This resembles the accounts that have been given by men who have been saved from freezing to death, after having got far down into the dark valley; so that the excess of heat and excess of cold produce precisely the same effect.

A NEW TRANSLATION.-A certain Mr. Black is lecturing the people of England on the necessity of a revised edition of the English Bible, and he sustains his plea on the ground that the present volume is very incorrect. One of the prominent instances he adduces is the expression of the Lord's Prayer, "Give us this day our daily bread," which he contends should have been rendered, "Give us this day our tomorrow's bread!"

The Protestant Churchman, which is not often witty, in noticing this version says:

"We have not heard that this 'accomplished scholar' has been added to the learned corps of revisers employed by the Bible Union,' in this country, but the specimen above of his abilities has such a family like

ness to the work which Drs. Maclay and Judd exhibited last summer, that we are free to commend Mr. Black as just the man for a situation on the new Bible, if there is a vacancy. The harmony between Black's work and Shepherd's is another illustration of the sympathy in great minds, even with an ocean between them."

A SUBSTITUTE FOR GOLD. Oreide is the name of a new metal which has recently made its appearance. It resembles gold in many respects, and may be used in a pure condition, or as a base for gold plating. Its cost is about eighty cents per pound, and yet its appearance is such that it would readily be taken for gold by most casual observers. It is a compound of several metals, refined to such a degree that it does not easily oxidize or tarnish. These qualities make it a valuable acquisition to the metallic arts. When tested with nitric acid, ebullition takes place, but no spot remains. This quality, though valuable for utensils, makes it a dangerous metal for dishonest men. It can be used in counterfeiting gold so readily

that it will be exceedingly difficult to detect counterfeit from true coin. When placed side by side with gold, it requires close scrutiny to decide which is gold and which oreide. In France a law has already been passed to prevent frauds, by compelling, under severe penalties for neglect, all manufactures of "oreide" to stamp the word upon the articles produced.

A manufactory has recently been started in Waterbury, Connecticut, capable of turning out any quantity of the new metal. It is said that a great deal of the late imported gold chased ware is nothing but oreide! It has already made its appearance in counterfeit coin out West.

A metal having so many of the characteristics of gold will soon find its way to the hands of dishonest men. The public need to be on their guard in the purchase of gold chased ware and gold dust. It is an easy matter to transport a metal to California which costs but eighty cents per pound; and it would be quite as easy for a dishonest man to mix the cheap material with the costly.

It is likely, however, that science, while furnishing a combination of metals so useful, will also furnish a detector against its use as a counterfeit. Nature is always true to itself, and the ability to create so valuable and yet (when used dishonestly) so dangerous an article, argues the ability to produce that which shall be a safeguard to the public against the dishonest purpose. Meanwhile, it is quite likely that till the qualities of the metal are better known the public will be most woefully

cheated.

STRENGTH OF WOMAN. Cornelius Agrippa meets the assertion of Aristotle, that of all animals the males are stronger and wiser than the females, by quoting St. Paul: "Weak things have been chosen to confound the strong." "Adam was sublimely endowed," he adds, "but woman humbled him; Samson was strong, but woman made him captive; David was religious, but woman disturbed his piety; Solomon was wise, but woman deceived him; Job was patient, and was robbed by the devil of fortune and family; ulcerated, grieved, and oppressed, nothing provoked him to anger till a woman did it, therein proving herself stronger than the devil."

WEST POINT MILITARY ACADEMY.-It appears by the report of the Board of Visitors who attended the last annual examination at this institution, that almost every class is greatly reduced in numbers before completing the course of study. As an instance, the last graduating class numbered only thirty-eight members, whereas its original strength was ninety-six.

The Board attribute this to the overtasking system of education practiced in the academy, requiring the most unremitting intellectual effort during the entire term of the cadet. Several changes are recommended in the course of studies.

The Board also recommend that the number of appointments to the academy should be increased by giving to each Senator in Congress the privilege of nominating a cadet, as

the staff of instruction is large enough for a much greater number of students.

PRICES OF ENGLISH AND AMERICAN Books.A correspondent of one of our cotemporaries says:

A

"It is something worth noticing, by the way, the wonderful difference in price between the English and American editions of books. There is, for instance, Miss Mulock's little collection of stories, 'Nothing-New,' costs twenty-one shillings sterling in London, while here the price is fifty cents. Wilkie Collins's Dead Secret' exhibits the same disparity of price. Little Dorritt' sells in the same way. new cheap edition of John Halifax' (published here at fifty cents) is announced in London at ten shillings and six-pence, or about two dollars and a half. An advertisement in an English paper before me an nounces a number of second-hand copies of works for sale; among them I notice Charles Kingsley's Two Year's Ago,' for four dollars, while Ticknor and Fields have published the same work for a dollar and a quarter. Aurora Leigh' can be had at a bargain for two dollars. Anderssen's book on Africa (a rare chance) for four dollars. Professor Aytoun's 'Bothwell, only two dollars. Mrs. Oliphant's Zaidce,' for two dollars and a quarter. Dr. Doran's 'Monarchs Retired from Business,' two dollars and fifty cents. All these works are second-hand copies, and are thus offered as a rare bargain for book-buyers. Yet each one of them has been republished in this country at not more than one quarter the prices above mentioned."

SMALL CHANGE.

DOUGLAS JErrold. - The English papers abound in witticisms and bon mots attributed to this well-known wag. Some of them are worth preserving. His definition of dogma

tism, for instance: "Dogmatism is puppyism come to its full growth!' has a meaning deep and philosophical enough for an

essay.

"His winding up a review of Wordsworth's poems was equally good. 'He reminds me,' said Jerrold, of the Beadle of Parnassus, strutting about in a cocked hat, or, to be more poetical, of a modern Moses, who sits on Pisgah with his back obstinately turned to that promised land, the Future; he is only At for those old maid tabbies, the Muses! His Pegasus is a broken-winded hack, with a grammatical bridle, and a monosyllabic bit between his teeth!'

"At the Café de l'Europe there was a famous dish made of calves' tail, which was considered as a greater dainty than ox-tail soup. Albert Smith was reveling on this dish one day when Jerrold took a seat near him. The gourmand said, Are you not surprised, Jerrold, to see me eating such a dish as calves' tail?' "Not at all," replied the other; 'extremes often meet!

"One evening, at the Museum Club, upon Smith's ostentatiously saying, Wasn't it strange, we had no fish at the marquis's last night? That has happened twice lately. I cannot account for it.' Nor I, replied Jerrold, with a serious air, except they ate it ull up stairs a cool intimation that Smith had dined with the flunkeys in the kitchen.

"It was Smith who boasted that he and Lamartine were so intimate that they might be said to row in the same boat, on which Jerrold retorted, That may be, but with very different skulls !' pointing significantly to his head.

NEWS BY TELEGRAPH.-The daily papers are in the habit of receiving items from various places by telegraph. For these, of course, they have to pay a good price, and not unfrequently the news is of little consequence. A paper at Chicago received the following:

"New York, 30th.-The report that the Astor House of New York has raised its price to three dollars per day is without foundation."

To balance which, the editor sent, by the same conveyance, this equally important item:

"A sickly looking man accosted another visitor by remarking, You appear to be well; what do you visit this place for? To enjoy myself; are you ill?' 'O, terribly so!' Then permit me to remark, as a friend, that, even if you were in the most robust health, you eat altogether too much.' At this sickly looked a little indignant, but the next moment he cooled down, and replied: I like your conversation very much, but what on earth is a man to do who is here paying two dollars and a half per day?'"

A rustic poet sends to an exchange the following poem on a "Squirl," remarking that he is aware that the last line is a little too long, which he says is not his fault:

"The Squirl Am a very Nice bird,
And has A bushy Tale,

He sometimes sits Opon a lim,
And sometimes On A rale,

And Gethers nuts in The sumer So that his Winter stock Wont fale.

SCENE IN A KENTUCKY COURT-HOUSE. In the good old times in Kentucky, when "substantial justice" was administered in a log cabin, after a very free and easy manner, a suit was brought to recover certain moneys of which it was alleged plaintiff had been defrauded by the ingenious operation known as "thimblecounsel, who happened to be an "expert,” unrigging.' In the course of the trial plaintiff's dertook to enlighten the court as to the modus operandi of the performance. into position, he produced the three cups and Putting himself the "little joker," and proceeded, suiting the action to the word:

"Then, may it please the court, the defendant placing the cups on his knee thus, began shifting them so, offering to bet that my client could not tell under which cup was the 'little joker,' meaning thereby, may it please the court, this ball, with the intention of defrauding my client of the sum thus wagered. For instance, when I raise the cup so, your honor supposes that you see the ball.”

"Suppose I see !" interrupted the judge, who had closely watched the performance, and was sure that he had detected the ball, as one of the cups was accidentally raised. Why, any fool can see where it is, and bet on it, and be sure to win. There ain't no defraudin' thar." "Perhaps your honor would like to go a V on it?' insinuated the counsel.

"Go a V? Yes, and double it too, and here's the rhino. It's under the middle cup."

"I'll go a V on that," said the foreman of the jury.

after the other, until each one had invested "And I, and I," joined in the jurors, one his pile.

Up!" said his honor.

"Up" it was, but the "little joker" had mysteriously disappeared. Judge and jury were enlightened, and found no difficulty in bringing in a verdict in favor of the plaintiff, on the ground that it was the "derndest kind o' defraudin'."