Enter TRIP, Moses, and Sir Oliver SURFACE, R.

They cross to L. Charles S. So, honest Moses, walk in : walk in, pray, Mr. Premium--that's the gentleman's name ; isn't it, Moses?

Moses. Yes, sir

Charles S. Set chairs, Trip--sit down, Mr. Premium-glasses, Trip-sit down, Moses. [They sit to L. ] Come, Mr. Premium, I'll give you a sentiment; here's Success to usury Moses, fill the gentleman a bumper.

Moses. Success to usury !

Care. Right, Moses—usury is prudence and industry, and deserves to succeed.

Sir 0. Then-here's all the success it deserves.

Care. [Rising, and coming forward.] No, no, that won't do! Mr. Premium, you have demurred at the toast, and must drink it in a pint bumper.

Sir H. A pint bumper, at least.

Moses. O pray, sir, consider-Mr. Premiuni's a gentleman.

Care. And therefore loves good wine.

Sir H. Give Moses a quart glass—this is mutiny, and a high contempt for the chair.

Charles S. No, haug it, you shan't! Mr. Premian's a stranger.

Care. Plague on 'em then !--if they wou't drink, we'll not sit down with them. Come, Harry, the dice are in the vext room-Charles, you'll join us when you have finished your business with the gentlemen ?

Charles S. I will ! I will! (Exeunt all the Gentlemen, R.] Careless !

Care. [Returning:] Well!
Charles S. Perhaps I may want yoii.

Care. O, you know I am always ready: word, note, or bond, 'tis all the same to me.

[Exit, R. Moses. Sir, this is Mr. Premium, a gentleman of the strictest honour and secresy; and always performs what he undertakes. Mr. Premium, this is—

Charles S. [Putting Moses across to L.] Pshaw' have done.-Sir, my friend Moses is a very honest fellow, but a little slow at expression : he'll be an hour giving us our titles. Mr. Premium, the plain state of the matter is this : I am an extravagant young fellow, who want money to borrow-you I take to be a prudent old fellow, who has got money to leud.-I am blockhead enough to give fifty per cent. sooner than not have it ; and you, I presume, åre rogue enough to take a huudred if you can get it. Now, sir, you see we are acquainted at once, and may proceed to business without farther ceremony.

Sir 0. Exceeding frank, upon my word. -] see, sir, you are not a man of many compliments.

Charles S. Oh no, sir; plain dealing in business I always think best.

Sir O. Sir, I like you the better for it- however, you are mistaken in one thing; I have no money to lend, but I believe I could procure some of a friend; but then he's aa unconscionable dog ; is'nt he, Moses? And inust sell stock to accommodate you-must'nt he, Moses?

Moses. Yes, indeed! You know I always speak the truth, and scorn to tell a lie !

Charles S. Right. [Crosses centre.] People that speak truth generally do : but these are trifles, Mr. Premium. What! I know money isn't to be bought without paying for't!

Sir O. Well—but what security could you give ? You have no land, I suppose ?

Charles S. Not a mole-hill, nor a twig, but what's in the bough-pots out of the window!

Sir O. Nor any stock, 1 presume?

Charles S. Nothing but live stock—and that's only a few pointers and povies. But pray, Mr. Premium, are you acquainted at all with any of my connexions ?

Sir 0. Why, to say truth, I am.

Charles S. Then you must know that I have a dev'lish rich uncle in the East Indies, Sir Oliver Surface, from whom I have the greatest expectations.

Sir 0. That you have a wealthy uncle I have heard ; but how your expectations will turn out, is more, I believe, than you can tell.

Charles S. O no!_there can be no doubt. They tell me I'm a prodigious favourite, and that he talks of leaving me every thing.

Sir 0. Indeed! this is the first I've heard of it.

Charles S. Yes, yes, 'tis just so—Moses knows 'tis true, don't

Sir 0. Egad, they'll persuade me presently I'm at Bengal.

[Aside. Charles S. Now I propose, Mr. Premium, if it's agreeable to you, a post-obit on Sir Oliver's life : though at the same time, the old fellow has been so liberal to me,

you, Moses

that I give you my word, I should be very sorry to hear any thing had happened to him.

Sir O. Not more than I should, I assure you. But the bond you mention happens to be just the worst security you could offer memfor I might live to a hundred, and never see the principal.

Charles S. O, yes, you would the moment Sir Oliver dies, you know, you would come on me for the money.

Sir 0. Then I believe I should be the most unwelcome dun you ever had in your life.

Charles S. What! I suppose you're afraid that Sir Oliver is too good a life?

Sir 0. No, indeed, I am not ; though I have heard he is as hale and healthy as any man of his years in Christendom.

Charles S. There again, now you are misinformed. No, no, the climate has hurt him considerably, poor uncle Oliver! Yes, yes, he breaks apace, I'm told-and is so much altered lately, that his nearest relations would not kuow him !

Sir 0. No! Ha! ha! ha! so much altered lately, that his nearest relations would not know him! ha! ha! ha! egad-Ha! ha! ha!

Charles S. Ha ! ha!-you're glad to hear that, little Premium ?

Sir 0. No, no, I'm not.

Charles S. Yes, yes, you are ha! ha! ha !You know that mends your chance.

Sir O. But I'm told Sir Oliver is coming over ?-nay, some say he is actually arrived ?

Charles S. Pshaw! Sure I must know better thani you whether he's come or not. No, no; rely on't, he's at this moment at.Calcuttamis'nt he, Mloges ?

Moses. () yes, certainly.

Sir 0. Very true, as you say, you must know better thani I, though I have it from pretty good authority-hav'nt I, Moses?

Moses. (L.) Yes, most undoubted !

Sir 0. (R.) But, sir, as I understand you want a few hundreds iminediately-is there nothing you could dispose of ?

Charles S. (c.) How do you mean?

Sir 0. For instance, now, I have heard that your father left behind him a great quantity of massy old plate ?

Charles S. O Luid!--that's gone long ago.--Moses can tell you how better than I can.

Sir 0. Good lack ! all the family race cups and corporation bowls. [Aside.)–Then it was also supposed that his library was one of the most valuable and complete.

Churles S. Yes, yes, so it was-vastly too much so for a private gentleman. For my part, I was always of a communicative disposition, so I thought it a shame to keep so much knowledge to myself.

[Crosses, R. Sir 0. (c.) Mercy upon me! Learning that had run in the family like an heir-loom! (Aside.) Pray, what are become of the books >

Charles S. (R.) You must inquire of the auctioneer, Master Premium, for I dou't believe even Moses can direct you.

Moses. I know nothing of books.

Sir 0. So, so, nothing of the family property left, I suppose ?

Charles S. Not much indeed; unless you have a mind to the family pictures. I have got a roomfull of ancestors above, and if you have a taste for old paintings, egad, you shall have 'em a bargain.

Sir 0. Hey! what the devil! Sure, you would'nt sell your forefathers, would you ?

Charles S. Every man of them, to the best bidder.
Sir 0. What ! your great uncles and aunts ?

Charles S. Ay, and my great grandfathers and grandmothers too.

Sir (). Now I give him up. [ Aside.] What the plague, have you no bowels for your own kindred ? Odd's life, do you take me for Shylock in the play, that you would raise money of me on your own flesh and blood ?

Charles S. Nay, my little broker, don't be angry: what need you care if you have your inoney's worth. :

Sir 0. Well, I'll be the purchaser : { think I can dispose of the family canvass. Oh, I'll never forgive him this! Dever!

Aside Enter CARELESS, R. Care. Come, Charles, what keeps you ?

Charles S. I can't come yet : i'faith, we are going to have a sale above stairs ; here's little Premium will buy all my ancestor's.

Care, 0, burn your ancestors !

Charles S. No, he may do that afterwards, if he pleases. Stay, Careless, we want you : egad, you shall be auctioneer ; so come along with us.

[Crosses, L.

Care. Oh, have with you, if that's the case. I can handle a hammer as well as a dice-box! Going! going ! Sir 0. Oh, the profligates !

(Aside. Charles S. Come, Moses, you shall be appraiser, if we want one. Gad's life, little Premium, you don't seem to like the business? Sir 0. O yes, I do vastly.

Ha! ha! ha! yes, yes, I think it a rare joke to sell one's family by auction-ha ha!- the prodigal !

(Aside. Charles S. To be sure ! when a man

wants money, where the plague should he get assistance, if he can't make free with his own relations ?

Sir 0. I'll never forgive him ; never ! never! (Exeunt l.



SCENE I. Picture Room at Charles's.-Large chair on L.

2nd. E.- Family Pedigree hanging up in the Wing R. Enter CHARLES SURFACE, SIR OLIVER Surface, Moses,

and Careless, L. Charles S. (R.) Walk in, gentlemen ; pray walk in -here they are, the family of the Surfaces, up to the conquest.

Sir 0. (R. c.) And, in my opinion, a goodly collection.

Charles S. Ay, ay, these are done in the true spirit of portrait-painting ;-no volontier grace or expression. Not like the works of your modern Raphaels, who give you the strongest resemblance, yet contrive to make your portrait independent of you ; so that you may sink the original, and not hurt the picture. No, no; the merit of these is the inveterate likeness--all stiff and awkward as the originals, and like nothing in human nature besides.

Sir 0. Ah! we shall never see such figures of men again.

Charles S. I hope not.-Well, you see, Master Premium, what a domestic character I am : here I sit of an evening surrounded hy my family. But, come, get to your pulpit, M:. Auctioneer ; here's an old gouty chair of my grandfather's will answer the purpose. [Brings chair for:card, c.

Care. Ay, ay, this will do.- -But, Charles, I hav'u't a hainmer; and what's an auctioneer without his hammer?

Charles S. Egad, that's true ; [Taking pedigree down

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