SOME of the BREAD with which the French fed their prisoners of war, having been brought to this Country, was analyzed by the direction of LORD GRENVILLE; and found to have been made of horse-beans, together with some ingredients of a coarser quality, mixed with a certain proportion of common Sand,

EPIGRAM.

SAY why with SAND, instead of Wheat,
France kneads her captive's crust ?—

'Tis but to execute her threat:

SAINT THOMAS AQUINAS* all angels supposes
With beards are provided as well as with noses:
Yet no text has been found to confirm what he saith,
And make it an item of orthodox faith.-

Sure to help a lame Saint o'er a stile is no sin!
"You'll find chapter and verse, Tom, on Caroline's
chin."

* A celebrated teacher of school-divinity in the universities of Italy, about the middle of the thirteenth century, commonly called the Angelical Doctor.

MONODY

ON THE DEATH OF

DICK,

AN ACADEMICAL CAT.

-MI-CAT inter omnes.-Hor. Carm. lib. i. ode 12,

Ye Rats, in triumph elevate your ears!

E

Exult, ye Mice!-for Fate's abhorred shears
Of DICK's nine lives have slit the catguts nine
Henceforth he mews 'midst choirs of Cats divine!
Though nine successive lives protract their date,
E'en Cats themselves obey the call of Fate;
Whose formidable fiat sets afloat

Mortals, and mortal Cats, in Charon's boat:

Fate, who Cats, Dogs, and Doctors makes his prize That grace Great Britain's Universities.

Where were ye, nymphs,—when to the silent coast Of gloomy Acheron DICK travell'd post ?

Where were ye, Muses, in that deathful hour?→→
Say, did ye haunt the literary bower

Where Science sends her sons in stockings blue

To barter praise for soup with Montague ?
Or point prepare for Boswel's anecdote,
Or songs inspire, and fit 'em to his throat ?—

For not on Isis' classic shores ye stray'd,

Nor brew'd with Cherwell's wave your lemonade;
Nor assignations kept with grizzled elves,

Where learning sleeps on Bodley's groaning shelves;
Nor, where no poet glows with kindred fire,
Wept o'er your favourite WARTON's silent lyre.

While venal Cats (leagued with degenerate curs, Of faded prudes the four-legg'd pensioners) On the soft sofa rang'd in order due,

For eleemosynary muffin mew,

Regardless of the meed that Fame bestows,

Their tail a feather for each wind that blows; Thee, generous DICK, the Cat-controlling powers Ordain'd to mouse in academic bower's:

Bade thee the sacred stream of sapience sip,

And in Piërean cream thy whiskers dip!

Enshrin'd celestial cateries among,

The sable matron, from whose loins he sprung,
Who traced her high descent through ages dark
From Cats that caterwaul'd in Noah's Ark,
Stern, brindled nurse, with unremitting care,
To high achievements train'd her tabby heir;
On patriot Cats his young attention fix'd,
And many a cuff with grave instruction mix'd;
Taught the great truth, to half his race unknown;
"Cats are not kitten'd for themselves alone;
"But hold from Heav'n their delegated claws,
"Guardians of larders, liberties, and laws."

"Let Cats and Catlings of ignoble line "Slumber in bee-hive chairs, in dairies dine; "Shun thou the shades of Cat-enfeebling ease! "Watch o'er the weal of Rhedycinian cheese; "The melting marble of collegiate brawn "For heads of houses guard, and lords in lawn; "And keep each recreant rat and mouse in awe "That dares to shew his nose in Golgotha.*

0

Golgotha," the place of a scull," a name ludicrously appropriated to the place in which the Heads of Colleges assemble.