ring that, for safety, I continued to wear, became | to bed; for I had in the course of my trips secured severed in the middle. It was plain there was a a hammock, which I suspended right across my flaw in the virgin gold. Solitude had made me barricade, by tying each end of it to the handles superstitious; and I looked upon the broken circle of opposite trunks. I must confess that for a long as an omen that I was doomed to perpetual time it was very difficult for me to get into the celibacy. The thought of never-ending singleness hammock, as I no sooner got in on one side than I fell upon my heart with a crushing weight. And, fell out from the other. However, as I knew to make my misery perfect, the cat that I have there could be no witness of my awkwardness, I spoken of in a former chapter, again came rubbing persevered, and in a few nights not a midshipman herself against me, looking upwards with horribly in the whole of the royal navy could jump more speaking eyes, as though confirming my fear of adroitly into his sleeping-birth than I did. destitution. I took the fractured ring from my finger. Hope whispered "Take heart, Miss Robinson; like a first love broken, it may be soldered." With this, I secured the precious bit of domestic metal, and renewed my work, a little comforted. CHAPTER VIII. Like a bee gathering sweets, I went from cabin to cabin. Rummaging a locker I found three razors; I was about to leave them, when my pre-myself for the time I had lost at tambour-work that vious train of thought recurred. "The fate that requires a wedding-ring," said the thought, "also gives a value to razors. I therefore resolved to take the instruments: and the same resolution induced me to bring away a prodigious stock of tobacco. "I shall never smoke myself," I seemed to remark; "but he may." In another locker I found some knives and-I could have wept with gratitude-some silver forks. It having been made one of the first principles of my education to consider a silver fork essential to any assertion soever of human dignity, I felt myself lifted by the discovery. I had learned that what was known as the Iron Age, was no other than the time of Iron Forks or why did I take real silver to Blackheath with me? The age of iron was the age of vulgar toil, when everybody labored now the first-known silver spoon-as I was instructed by the Misses Whalebones-came into the world in the mouth of the first gentle man. In another locker I found a bag of sovereigns. They made me sigh. "Of what use, O sovereigns!" I said, "are you to me? You cannot buy me a seat at the opera. You cannot take me to Brighton. You cannot waft me to Rundell and Bridge's, to make choice there." Flinging down the gold, I said, "O drug, stay there, and"-and then the thought of the shops in Bond street, and with the thought the stock of the four seasons rose in my mind, and I moralized no more, but took the bag. As I did this, the sky became overcast, and I found that if I would secure my goods I must shorten my stay. I ran into a cabin which I recollected had been occupied by a very nice old gentleman, a clergyman, going out to join his regiment, then fighting very hard indeed, in India. But, like a dove, he was going out with the olive in his mouth, to comfort the wounded and preach patience to the flogged. Taking a hasty glance, I saw nothing but a book upon the bed-clothes of his cot -the book he had doubtless been reading when the ship struck; without opening it, I secured my prize, and ran upon deck. The sky was getting blacker and blacker, and I resolved to swim for it. The weight of the gold was a little embarrassing, but, for the first time, I found that almost any amount of gold might be borne in difficulties. After a time I seemed to swim the lighter for it. The wind continued to rise, but at length I got ashore, and making a hasty supper of biscuit and salt-beef with the smallest imaginable drop of caude-cologne on a lump of sugar, I went comfortably WHILST making my breakfast, I began to think it was the constant custom of my dear fatherof my dinner. My thoughts immediately flew to the turkey; and again I felt confounded by my ignorance. How was I to dress it? Whilst in this state of perturbation, and inwardly reproaching might have been so usefully, so nobly employed in at least the theory of the kitchen, my eye fell upon the book I had brought from the wreck; the book lying in the cot of the regimental chaplain going out to India. Listlessly enough, I took the volume in my hand-opened it, and, equally to my astonishment and joy, read upon the title-page-The Complete Art of Cookery! My gratitude was unbounded, and I blessed the good man whose midnight studies had indirectly proved of such advantage to me. With beating heart, I turned over the pages, until I came to "Turkey." Again and again 1 read the directions; but though they were written with all the clearness of a novel, they only gave me, what I once heard called, a magnificent theory. I felt that drawing required a practical hand; for how was I to know gall from liver? "A stuffing of sausage-meat" sounded very well-but how to make it? And then-though, possibly, the plant might grow in the island-where to get a shred shalot? The excellent chaplain's book, instead of instructing and comforting me, plunged me in the profoundest melancholy. As I turned over the pages-I, a desolate spinster on a desolate islandI seemed scoffed and mocked at by the dishes that I read of dishes, all of them associated with the very best society, and many of them awakened thoughts of Michaelmas goose, of Christmas beef, of spring lamb, and all the many amenities that impart the sweetest charm to civilized existence. With a strong effort of will, I laid down the book: 1 would keep it, I thought, for calmer hours. When more accustomed to my hideous solitude, it might soothe and support me, throwing the fascinations of romance about a cold and hungry reality. Walking upon the beach, I looked, as usual, in the direction of the wreck, and found it-gone. The gale of the night had doubtless been very violent-though I slept too soundly to hear it-and the remains of the miserable vessel had sunk forever in the deep. I was, at first, very much affected; but when I remembered that with the exception of one box, containing a bonnet of the most odious color for my complexion, I had brought all my dear sister-passengers' trunks and boxes safe ashore, I felt soothed with the consciousness that, at least I had done my duty. And I was upon an island-alone; with neither man, nor-excepting the aforesaid rabbits (or er mine)-beast. After a flood of tears, I resolved like a true woman, to make the best of my misery I walked further into the island, and discovered beautiful bit of grass-plot, backed by a high rock. | of matches in the purser's locker-when I wanted To this place, with a strength and patience I am it. Gathering dry sticks and eaves into a heap, I almost ashamed to confess, I removed every trunk made a rousing fire. I had brought away the and every box, placing them in a semicircle, with the ship's compass; and so used the metal basin that rock as I believe it's called-the gable end. When contained it as a saucepan. In this I boiled my this was done, I cut down innumerable stakes of first shrimps. I had no salt, which was a great willow this I was enabled to do with the surgeon's privation. Necessity, however, the mother of insaw, a remarkably neat and elegant little instru- vention-(and, certainly, for a little outcast, he has ment. The stakes I drove into the earth, within proved a very fine child in the world; though when about six inches round the trunks, by means of a prosperous, I'm afraid he very seldom thinks of cannon ball-providentially, as it afterwards turned his mamma)-necessity suggested to me, that if I out, brought from the wreck. This being done would pound the gunpowder very fine, it might at and it cost me incredible labor to accomplish it-I a pinch serve for salt. I tried the experiment; and dug up hundreds of creepers, and parasitical plants, though I must allow that salt is better without and cactuses, that I found in different parts of the charcoal, nevertheless, salt with charcoal is infiniteisland, and replanted them near the willow stakes. ly better than no salt at all. Vegetation was very rapid indeed, in that island. For some time I took very much to shrimps; but In less than a week the plants and willows began the human mind is given to variety-a fact that in to shoot, and—to anticipate my story a little-in my solitude I have frequently pondered on-and I two months every trunk and every box was hidden began to long for some other kind of food: in fact, by a green and flowering wall. The cactuses took for some fresh fish. In my wanderings about the very kindly, and formed a hedge, strong enough, I island, I had discovered a beautiful piece of water verily believe, to repel a wild beast or a wild In--clear as crystal, and sweet as milk-in which dian. I ought to have said that I had taken the precaution to roof my bower, as I called it, with some tarpaulin, that stained and made my hands smell horribly. However, I had no remedy. were multitudes of the most beautiful roach, and gudgeon, and pike, and I know not what. I felt very much disposed to obtain some; but my wishes met with a check from these thoughts. "In the first place," I said, "I have no tackle; in the next, I am no fisherwoman." Now to have made my argument complete against angling, there should have been no fish. But it was not so. I therefore determined to invent me some tackle. Whilst I worked at my bower, I lived upon the biscuit and potted meats and preserves found in the steward's cabin. In time, however, I began to grow tired of these, and longed for something fresh. As for the turkey, I had left that hanging to the tree, being incapable of drawing and dress- My petticoat-my crinoline-I had no doubt there ing it. Many wild-fowl flew about me, but, dis- were fifty others in the boxes-flashed upon me. heartened by the turkey, I took no heed of them. It was a little worn, and the others were, no doubt, At length it struck me that though not much of a new; besides, I had more than one of my own cook I might be able to boil some shrimps. The stock. Knowing that fishing-lines were made of first difficulty, however, was to catch them. Dur- hair, I immediately began to draw my crinoline. ing my visits to English watering-places I had As I drew out horse-hair by horse-hair Í moralized observed females of the lower orders, with hand--I could not help it-upon the wondrous accidents nets I think they call them, fishing for shrimps. I of life. "When," thought I, "for the Crowntherefore resolved to make a net. Here, at least, and-Anchor Ball, I first put on this crinoline, some part of the education acquired at the Misses swimming into the room in a cloud of white satin Whalebone's was of service to me, for I knew how did I then think it (the petticoat) was ever into knit. Amongst the stores I had brought from tended to catch little gudgeons?" And with these my ship, were several balls of twine. Chopping thoughts, I patiently, mournfully, drew out hair by and chiselling a needle, I set to work, and in less hair, and found that they would bear any weight than three days produced an excellent net. This I of fish that might jump at the hook. stretched on a stout elastic frame of wood, and the The hook! Where was the hook? In another tide serving, walked-just like one of the vulgar instant a thought suggested the ring-the broken women I had seen at Brighton and Margate-bare-wedding-ring. There was a something in the legged, into the sea. The shrimps came in little shoals, and in less than a couple of hours I am sure, I returned to the shore with not less than three quarts of the best brown shrimps, Gravesend measure. These I boiled; obtaining a light after this fashion: When a very little girl, I had always assisted my brother when making fireworks for Guy Fawkes. It was he who taught me how to make -I think they are called, little devils. A pinch or two of gunpowder is taken in the palm of the hand, and wetted: it is then kneaded into the form of a little cone; a few grains of dry powder are laid upon the top, when fire is applied to it, and the whole thing goes off in a red eruption, like a toy Vesuvius. Having prepared the powder, I struck sparks upon it; using my steel busk (how the sparks did fly about it, to be sure!) and a flint. By these means I burnt a piece of linen-a beautiful bit of new Irish, and so got my original stock of tinder. After this, I had only to use my busk and the flint to obtain a light-for I found a heap notion that brought to my face a melancholy smile. There was a bitterness, a pleasant bitterness, in the idea, that I relished mightily. I therefore resolved to turn the ring into a rude hook, which, by means of a pair of pliers from the surgeon's case, I accomplished. And it looked so remarkably like a hook, nobody could have imagined it had ever been a wedding-ring. A tall, tapering rod grew on every tree. I therefore set out to the brook fully equipped. Arrived at the place, I baited the ring-the hook I should say-with nothing more than a little chewed biscuit, mixed, to keep it together, with pomatum. I threw in, and as fast as I threw in, I had a bite. It was curious to see the innocent creatures fly to the ring; that is, the hook that was to destroy them. I was some time astonished at their simplicity. At length I thought, "Poor things! their eagerness to bite at the wedding-ring proves the island to have been always uninhabited. They bite in this way, because they have never before beheld the face of a woman 139 THE TWO SIDES OF THE QUESTION. with their wives by their sides and their pot-bellied little Sambos and Julius Cæsars tumbling about WE print these communications without com- their feet, and won't do a stroke of work-not if ment: "SIR, No. I.-A PLANTER TO PUNCH. "Cheltenham. "I don't expect much sympathy from you. I'll tell you why. When my medical attendant, at Cheltenham last year, recommended what he called peristaltic motion of the lower viscera' for my liver complaint, (for I've not lived in Berbice eighteen years for nothing, and yet there was n't a planter in the colony more moderate in his sangrosum and sangaree,) he suggested taking in your publication, which, he said, would make me laugh, and produce the motion with the odd name above mentioned. Well, sir, I ordered your publication, and laughed a good deal at it I must say, but every now and then I came across some high-flying bit of stuff, which I dare say the fellow who writes it calls humanity and philanthropy, but which, between you and me, is humbug and nothing else. the governor was to go on his knees to 'em. Now, I put it to you-is this a tolerable state of things? How would you like to see the laborers in England kicking their heels in comfort, and putting their thumbs to their noses while tenant and landlord were begging and praying them to go to work, when once they'd made enough to keep them for the week? What comes of it all? The negroes are enjoying themselves, and the planters are ruined; four-sixths of the plantations are out of are saving money and clubbing it to buy us out cultivation, and many of the rascally black fellows one after another-fellows that you've seen writhing and squeaking under your dining room have all the property of the colony before ten years windows and your own cart-whips! They'll are gone. the "I always said what it would come to. How "Your indignant reader, No. II.-A FREE NEGRO TO PUNCH. "MASSA PUNCH, "Sir, We read you ebbery week, dat you come here reglar, saar, wid bery great satifakshun, and much amoosement, self and wife, Dinah. "I dare say if you'd lived in 1833, at the time of the iniquitous emancipation of the black fellows, you'd have been one of the loudest in the man and brother' clap-trap. You don't know the Snow-balls as well as I do. I've seen them under he cart-whip; and the more 's the pity since the cart-whip was hung up for good and all. I felt it was all up with the colonies when that happened. I could not sell my estate, but I leased it to my attorney, and with the paltry share I got of your "Saar, we receive papers from home, (dat Engso-called compensation, (a downright robbery by land, saar, always call him home,' now 'mansithe way, if ever there was one,) left Berbice, and pashun diffused in dese happy qwarters of the settled at Cheltenham, alongside of some old arth,) and find dat de Perteckshun is to be took Guiana cronies in the same predicament with my-off de furrin and slave-grown shugar. Some white self. Sir, we are a small and far from cheerful genlman make uncommon row, and say dat 'dis part of wronged and ruined men. They 're going ruin dis deliteful col'ny of British Guiana, where I to take away the little protection that was left us. write to you, saar, at present. But do white Of course I don't intend to chime in with the abo- genlman berry much de worse for aggrawashun, lition nonsense of that old rascal Clarkson, about let me 'sure you, saar, black gentlman perfecly encouraging the slave trade and such like stuff. I trankle, as to 'liberations of British Parliment. only wish we were where Cuba is, and had been wise enough to keep our blacks under the collar when we had 'em there. But that's all over, the more's the pity. I'll tell you the real point where the shoe pinches. The black fellows won't work. They're a set of the idlest vagabonds! They 've no respect for the rights of property and the interests of their employers. There's a gang of scoundrels about Mount Pleasant-my estate rascals that were my slaves, most of them since they were pickaninnies fighting for bananas under my dinner-table, up to that fatal 1st of August. "Sir, I don't aut to blush to say dat, once, owing to circumsances ober which I could not control, I myself was in de 'gradin persicion of common slave-field nigger! Den I work berry unpleasantly hard, 'specially bilin-times once, sir, perticler, berry near fell into biler by reason ob being overtook wid sleep after four days' work and extra rum. Dat time, saar, is unpleasant reminisense; but now as free black gentiman let me 'sure you, saar, for self and friends find change of life uncommon pleasant. We are not berry ekal in demand and supply hereabouts, (you see, saar, "I've clothed those fellows, sir, I've fed them, I hab studied polical 'comony.) especially for I've let them cultivate provision grounds on my labor. Uncommon plenty white persons ob prowaste, and fatten themselves like pigs with the perty in cane-land, not so many black gentlmen to cane-juice at boiling times; I've flogged them work. Wages being unobjexshnable at a dollar a (that is, my overseer has) week after week, and day, and two days a week quite 'nuff for illiganses done what I could to teach them industrious habits, of life for self and Dinah. White properioter come by field-work twelve hours a day, six days out of to black gentlman to ask him work ebbery day in the seven-for I know what's due to the church. de week. 'Diculous! what for work, in de name What 's my reward? Why, now that the fellows ob common sense, when you can get de luxshries are free, as they call it, they have n't the gratitude of life widout putting oneself out of de way to do to work more than two days in the week. That nothing ob de kind? No, I say to white probrings them in their eight shillings, and they can perioter, No, saar, 'scuse me when hab misforlive the whole seven days through like fighting-tune to be slave-nigger, you fix de work-hours. cocks for six. So, their two days' work done, there they sit, as lazy as so many gentlemen and as happy as so many kings, under their verandahs, 6 *"Late Importer of 10,000 hogsheads of sugar from Berbice-now imports 0." Now dat I free, 'tanks to de British legislature, I THE PEN AND THE SWORD.-The British lion settle 'em for self and family-no tank you.' Also, never wanted to make a meal, not even of a saar, I mass money. Seberal black persons of my Yankee cabin-boy; and we hope that the Ameri'quaintance done de same, and we s'pose soon to can eagle is now content to feed upon native set up a plantashun of our own. Old Massa Indian corn, instead of dining upon Britishers, Thresher, prhaps, hab no 'jeckshun to sell Mount gloriously dead upon the battle-field. Mr. CalPlesant, near where I now reside. Den, saar, we houn, however, very wisely attributes all this to shall rebel in de proud feelins of dark properioters, the tongues of statesmen and the quills of public where we once worked common field niggers wid writers. "Had there been," says the American, de driver berry sharp behind. Berry proud feelin," the least false step on the other side-had the saar, and I'sure you, I feel affected to look at speeches in parliament, or the articles in the pubDinah, and de lubly obspring she have maturnally lic journals been of an exasperating character, we reared, and tink what dey wood have been ten could not then have arranged matters on this side year long ago, and what dey are now under de as we have done." And then he lauds the modernew redgment! I 'sure you, saar, dat dis is ex-ation of Peel and Aberdeen. And all this cheerlent place for black gentleman now. He don't ing for the present, is hopeful for the future. A wish at all for any change whatsomdever, statesman's windpipe, wisely employed, may in good time shut up in rusty dumbness those— Especially yours, THE ANTI-SLAVERY HANNIBAL. SCENE-A Dining-room, with a very well-spread WHAT! let in slave-grown Muscovados! Dug in Cuba, by slaves, from the ground.) To wormwood 't would turn in my cobbler, Ere my babes should suck lolly-pops slave-grown, His slave-grown, sea-island cravat.) No, no; at my table you 're safe, sir, From all fruit of the negro's despairBut, bless me! amidst all this talking, You eat nothing at all, I declare! Pray, do try that curry-for boiling The rice I've a plan of my own :(And Hannibal gulped down a spoonful, 'Twas the best Carolina-slave-grown.) What? you really have finished your dinner! 'Twas slave-raised, Brazilian, of course.) And now, as my wife's down at Brighton, [Brings out box of cigars. -“ mortal engines, whose rude throats Th' immortal Jove's dread clamors counterfeit," and half a dozen quills of half a dozen journalists prove too much for a whole park of artillery. Mortars are devastating instruments—and yet they may be beaten by inkstands. PROTECTION DINNERS. WHEN children have a tumble or roll down stairs, folks give them fruit or sweet-stuff to stop their crying. The protectionists having sustained a thumping tumble, are comforted with dinners. Master Bentinck has been treated at Lynn, and Master Marquis Granby has also been consoled at Walsam. His father, the Duke of Rutland, shone very brilliantly on the occasion. Pity it is that so many coronets have spoilt so many wits! The duke opposed the free-trade principle; and his opposition was strengthened by the following tremendous illustration. (Several farmers were carried out in fits of laughter, and were not fully recovered until well pumped upon.) The duke said: "He had heard of a gentleman, who having two chances, tossed up with his friend, agreeing, if the sovereign came head, he was to win, but if tail he was to lose. It was not long before the gentleman had the tail, and he feared we should soon be very much in the same situation [Hear, hear, and applause]." Now, if his grace will-for one minute-lend u the illustration, we will venture to observe, that once when fate tossed for a duke for the house of Manners, certainly "a head" did not get it. Mr. Disraeli, who "attends" all protection dinners at the shortest notice, made at Walsam a dreadful onslaught on Manchester; the same Manchester that only two little years ago invited him to preside on a festal occasion, when he said "all things that are pretty and sweet" to the unsu pecting and admiring cotton-pods. And at Walsam very magnificently did he pooh pooh poor Manchester, asking where it was when Englishmen won Magna Charta? This is unkind. We have a great admiration for the author of Coningsby;" and, therefore, in our own meek way, we should reprimand either Cobden, Bright, Wilson, cr any other Manchester man who, seeking to depr> ciate the parent of "Coningsby," should ask-"Where, when the Israelites passed the Red Sea, was Benjamin Disraeli ?" 66 A CARD. PUNCH CATHERINE SEYTON. MR. Benjamin Disraeli begs leave to inform the Nobility, Gentry, and Ultra-Conservative public in general, that he attends Protectionist Parties, and has a large collection of speeches of every description always ready, together with a set of sarcasms, which he undertakes shall be carefully delivered either in town or country. B. D'I. feels justified in assuming to himself the title of the ONLY POLITICAL IMPROVISATORY; for having during several years given his attention to the impromptu line, he has on hand a very large assortment of retorts and replies, suited to every occasion. Though he keeps a large quantity ready made, they are warmed up so rapidly, after a process peculiar to the advertiser, that he feels justified in announcing them as absolute novelties. B. D'I. has no objection to enter into a contract to supply protectionist oratory by the single dinner, or he will go out to evening meetings at a great reduction on an arrangement being made for the entire session. Ministers worried by the day, night, week, month, or year, and protectionist peers waited upon at their own houses. The following testimonials are humbly submitted to the public: not consecrate muskets as well? Why not pronounce a benediction over gunpowder, over cartridges, shots, shells, howitzers, and congreve rockets? Why not give a canonical sanction to cannon? Is it felt that this would be going too far-would be too palpable an association of Christianity with carnage-terms, that in spite of alliteration, will not harmonize? Now, it strikes us, that there is a species of consecration which would be much more suitable to the emblems of slaughter than the clerical. Have any of our readers witnessed the performance of Der Freischutz? If so, perhaps they will anticipate our suggestion. In the incantation scene, having invoked Zamiel, and in the name of the demon mixed his lead and sundries of sorcery in the bullet ladle-" And now," says Caspar, "for the blessing of the balls." The benison recited on this occasion by our friend Caspar would, to our thinking, be the best adapted to the flag of battle. Give a certain personage his due. We are not told, that the service performed by the chaplain to the forces was followed by a sermon. Perhaps it was. If so, could his homily have been the Sermon on the Mount? CATHERINE SEYTON. BY H. M. SIDNEY. IN his hall at Abbottsford- Enters on the haunted air! Vague they come, with spectral forms Constance from her stifled cell, When he rode to meet his foe, When she flew to meet her lord, Claverhouse, with the blood of saints Reeking on his brutal sword! Mary, melancholy queen, Not with haughty step and eye, When they led her forth to die! Comes the laughing Scottish maid, But in velvet cap and cloak, Like a jaunty page arrayed! Thus in lonely Abbottsford! Travellers so the legend bringWhen the shades of midnight fall, Sits the mighty wizard king! |