the Prince of Lilliput.-But the reft of your letter being wholly taken up in a very bad character of the Duchefs, I fhall fay no more to you, but apply myself to her Grace.

Madam, fince Mr. Gay affirms that you love to have your own way, and fince I have the fame perfection; I will fettle that matter immediately, to prevent thofe ill confequences he apprehends. Your Grace fhall have your own way, in all places except your own house, and the domains about it. There, and there only, I expect to have mine, so that you have all the world to reign in, bating only two or three hundred acres, and two or three houses in town and country. I will likewise, out of my fpecial grace, certain knowledge, and mere motion, allow you to be in the right against all human kind, except myself, and to be never in the wrong but when differ from me. You

you

shall have a greater privilege in the third article of speaking your mind; which I shall graciously allow you now and then to do even to myself, and only rebuke you when it does not please me.

Madam, I am now got as far as your Grace's letter, which having not read this fortnight (having been out of town, and not daring to truft myself with the carriage of it) the prefumptuous manner in which you begin had flipt

out

out of my memory. But I forgive you to the feventeenth line, where you begin to banish me for ever, by demanding me to answer all the good Character fome partial friends have given me. Madam, I have lived fixteen years in Ireland, with only an Intermiffion of two fummers in England; and confequently am fifty years older than I was at the Queen's death, and fifty-thousand times duller, and fifty million times more peevish, perverfe, and morofe; fo that under these disadvantages I can only pretend to excel all your other acquaintance about fome twenty barrs length. Pray, Madam, have you a clear voice? and will you let me fit at left hand at leaft within three of you, your

for of two bad ears, my right is the best? My Groom tells me that he likes your park, but your houfe is too little. Can the Parfon of the parish play at back-gammon, and hold his tongue? is any one of your Women a good nurse, if I should fancy myself fick for four and twenty hours? how many days will you maintain me and my equipage? When these preliminaries are fettled, I must be very poor, very fick, or dead, or to the laft degree unfortunate, if I do not attend you at Aimsbury. For, I profefs, you are the first Lady that ever I defired to fee, fince the first of August 1714, and I have forgot the date when that defire grew

N 4

ftrong

strong upon me, but I know I was not then in England, elfe I would have gone on foot for that happiness as far as to your house in Scotland. But I can foon recollect the time, by asking fome Ladies here the month, the day, and the hour when I began to endure their company? which however I think was a fign of my ill judgment, for I do not perceive they mend in any thing but envying or admiring your Grace. I diflike nothing in your letter but an affected apology for bad writing, bad fpelling, and a bad pen, which you pretend Mr. Gay found fault with; wherein you affront Mr. Gay, you affront me, and you affront yourfelf. Falfe fpelling is only excufeable in a Chamber-maid, for I would not pardon it in any of your Waiting-women. -Pray God preserve your Grace and family, and give me leave to expect that you will be fo juft to remember me among those who have the greatest regard for virtue, goodness, prudence, courage and generofity; after which you must conclude that I am, with the greatest respect and gratitude, Madam, your Grace's moft obedient and most humble fervant, &c.

To Mr. GAY.

I have just got yours of February 24, with a postscript by Mr. Pope. I am in great con

cern

cern for him; I find Mr. Pope dictated to you the first part, and with great difficulty fome days after added the rest. I see his weakness by his hand-writing. How much does his philosophy exceed mine? I could not bear to fee him I will write to him foon.

E

LETTER LIII.

upon

Dublin, June 29, 1731.

VER fince I received your letter, I have been a balance about going to England, and landing at Bristol, to pass a Month at Aimsbury, as the Duchefs hath given me leave. But many difficulties have interfered; first, I thought I had done with my law-fuit, and fo did all my lawyers: but my adversary, after being in appearance a Proteftant these twenty years, hath declared he was always Papift, and confequently by the law here, cannot buy nor (I think) fell; fo that I am at fea again, for almost all I am worth. But I have ftill a worse evil; for the giddiness I was fubject to, instead of coming feldom and violent, now conftantly attends me more or less, tho' in a more peaceable manner, yet fuch as will not and healqualify me to live among young thy and the Duchess, in all her youth, spirit,

the

and

and grandeur, will make a very ill nurse, and her women not much better. Valetudinarians must live where they can command, and scold; I must have horfes to ride, I must go to bed and rise when I please, and live where all mortals are fubfervient to me. I must talk nonfense when I please, and all who are present must commend it. I must ride thrice a week, and walk three or four miles befides, every day.

I always told you Mr. was good for nothing but to be a rank Courtier. I care not whether he ever writes to me or no. He and you may tell this to the Duchefs, and I hate to fee fo charitable, and fuch a Cully; and yet I love you for it, because I am one myfelf.

you

You are the filliest lover in Christendom: If you like Mrs. why do you not command her to take you? if she does not, she is not worth pursuing; you do her too much honour; fhe hath neither sense nor tafte, if fhe dares to refuse you, though she had ten thoufand pounds. I do not remember to have told you of thanks that you have not given, nor do I understand your meaning, and I am fure I had never the leaft thoughts of any myself. If I am your friend, it is for my own reputation, and from a principle of felf-love, and I

da