For tho' at best you're no great things—twere right
To keep appearance up.-Once more, good night.

[Exit Queen.
I must be staunch with her-I dare not falter:
And thus we whip a thief, to save him from the halter.

[Exit Hamlet.

END OF THE SECOND ACT.

1

HAMLET TRAVESTIE.

ACT THE THIRD.

SCENE I.

An Apartment in the Palace.

Enter King and Queen.

King
Explain these sighs ; 'tis fit we share the fun :
How's Hamlet ?

Queen.

Mad as butter in the sun : (a)
Hearing a noise, “ a rat, a rat," he roar'd,
And in his crazy fit whipp'd out his sword,
And ran Polonius thro' behind the curtain.

King. Had we been there, he'd have spik'd us for certain. Soon as 'tis day-light he shall buy a brush ; And this unlucky job we'll try to hush. Ho! Guildenstern! (Enter Guild. and Rosen.) Just now

hath Hamlet slain, By way of joke, our poor lord-chamberlain.

The body to the bone-house take ;-seek out
And bring lord Hamlet here.-Come, jump about.

[Exeunt Guild, and Rosen.

We'll now prepare to pack him off to London :-
As for Polonius—what's done can't be undone.

[Exit Queen.

If Hamlet thus go loose he'll make a racket,
And yet we dare not give him a straight jacket;
Because tag, rag and bob-tail love him dearly-
And right from wrong they can't distinguish clearly.

Enter RoSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN with Hamlet.

King. Now, Hamlet, where's Polonius ?

Hamlet.

He's in heaven;
But if you think that I'm to lying giv'n,
Send there to see; if there your man don't nick him,
E’en to the devil go yourself and seek him.
If in a month you find not where he's closeted,
Your nose will hint i'th' dust-hole he's deposited.

King
Go seek him there; I fear he's only humming.

[Exit Guild.

Hamlet.
Pray don't fatigue yourself; he'll wait your coming.

King.

From pure regard for thee, this cursed blunder
Must send thee, Hamlet, hence.

Hamlet.

I shou'dn't wonder !

King. Therefore for England instantly prepare ; The packet's ready and the wind is fair.

Hamlet. Good.

King

So you'd say if you our reasons knew.

Hamlet.
There's one above sees all-But come; adieu !

[Exit Hamlet and Rosen.

King.
Now, England, if thou car'st for us a button,
Thou'll sweetly tickle this young jockey's mutton. (6)

[Exit King

SCENE II.

Another Room in the Palace.

Enter Queen and Horatio.

Queen. I will not speak with her.

Horatio.

She'll breed a riot; You'd better have her in to keep her quiet.

Queen. Well, send her up. (Exit Hor.)

in it, That I can never be alone a minute.

I think the devil's

Enter Horatio with Ophelia.

Ophelia (sings).

Three children sliding on the ice,

All on a summer's day,
The ice it broke—they all fell in-

The rest—they ran away.

Queen.
Sweet lady, what's the meaning of this song?

Ophelia.
I'll sing the rest—for 'tis not very long.