Hamlet.
Remember thee !—I feel in such a furry,
Egad, I shan't forget thee in a hurry.
Remember thee! Yea, from my souvenir,
All memoranda swift shall disappear ;
There thy commandment all alone I'll write;
And if I e'er forget thee-blow me tight.

Horatio (without).
My Lord !

Marcellus.
Lord Hamlet!

Hamlet.

Damn those stupid fellows. Horatio, here am 1.—Hollo, Marcellus.

Enter Horatio and Marcellus.

Marcellus. How is't, my Lord ?-What news ?-What said the Ghost ?

Hamlet.
You'll blab.

Marcellus.
Not I.

Horatio.
I'm silent as a post.

Hamlet.
He said each Danish villian is a knave!

Horatio.
That all ?—He might have staid then in his grave.

Hamlet.
That's as he pleases.—So good night—but ho!
I have a word to say before you go.
Never make known what you have seen to night.

Horatio.
Not I.

Marcellus.
Nor I.

Hamlet.
Swear!

Ghost (beneath).
Make 'em swear. That's right!

[They swear.

Hamlet.
But that's not all: Now swear that if, perchance,
Like Merry Andrew, (,) I think fit to dance
And skip about the house, you'll never dare
To tell, or even hint, the reason-

Ghost (beneath).

Swear!

[They swear again.

Hamlet.
Lie still, old Grey-bones.—'Tis such chilling weather,
Suppose we go and get some drink together?

Horatio.
With all my heart-Egad, I like your plan-
Marcellus, what say you, lad ?

Marcellus.

I'm your man.

Hamlet.
The world's gone mad-Curs’d fate, that ever I
Was born to have a finger in the pie!

[Exeunt.

SCENE V.

An Apartment in Polonius's House.

Enter Polonius, meeting OPHELIA.

Polonius.
You look stark mad, Ophelia !—What's the row ? (s)

Opbelia.
I've had a precious fright.

Polonius.

Pray tell me how.

SONG.-Ophelia.

(Tune—“Mrs. Clarke.")

My Lord, you must know,

A few minutes ago,
In my room I was darning a stocking :

Now conceive my alarm,

When (not dreaming of harm)
I was roused by a violent knocking.

I thought 'twas Old Scratch,

So I fasten'd the latch,
And went on with my work as before;

But whilst my needle I was threading,

Lord Hamlet popp'd his head inFor, d’ye mind, he kick'd open the door.

His doublet unbracid,

Was slung round his waist,
And his stockings were dirty and loose ;

He was pale as a sheet,

And could scarce keep his feet :Thus he came in, and star'd like a goose !

He took hold of my wrist,

And gave it a twist
That made me to quiver and quake :

He then began to quiz,

As tho' he meant to draw my phiz; And then gave me a terrible shake.

Next so sadly he sigh’d,

Lord ! I thought he'd have died ! Then he thrice up and down shook his noddle.

After treating me so,

He thought fit to let me go;
And then tow'rds the stairs did he waddle.

'Twas a chance he didn't fall

Over bannisters and all, For I vow not a step could he see ;

To my utter surprize,

He found his way without his eyes,To the last they were bent upon me.

Polonius.
Come, go with me, I will go seek the king :
Hamlet's behaviour is not quite the thing.
Have you of late been snappish to him, pray?

Ophelia.
Oh, no—I never did a cross word say:
I merely sent his letters back by scores,
And when he call'd, I turn'd him out o'doors.

Polonius.
Aye! that hath made him mad—I do not doubt it.
We'll to the king, and tell him all about it.

[Exeunt.

SCENE VI.

The Palace.

Enter King, Queen, RoSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN.

King.

Welcome, dear Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern :
You have come just in time to serve our turn.
Something you've heard of Hamlet's transformation ;
But to account for his sad situation
We find impossible; so you must pump him :
If he won't tell by fair means—why then-thump him.

Queen.
Good gentlemen, right heartily he'll greet you,
For very often hath he wish'd to meet you;
So stay, and find out what his real state is,
And we will give you board and lodging gratis.