Kitty. My mistress's, sir.

Bel. And who is your mistress?

Kitty. A lady, sir.

Bel. And her name?

Kitty. That of her father, I take it.

Bel. Upon my word, your lady has a very brilliant servant: is she as clever as you are?

Kitty. Why, not quite, I think, or she would not keep me to eclipse her.

Bel. Bravo! I wish I knew her! Will you tell me her name?

Kitty. Can you spell?

Bel. Yes.

Kitty. Why then you'll find it in the four-and-twenty letters.

[Going. Bel. [Catches her] Nay, by heaven, you have raised my curiosity!

Kitty. Pho! what signifies asking me? You know well enough who she is: I heard you and lord Sparkle talking about her. Let me go; for I am going to carry a imessage to Mr. Fitzherbert.

Bel. Mr. Fitzherbert!

Kitty. Ay, her guardian.

Bel. Her guardian! What, Fitzherbert of Cambridgeshire?

Kitty. Yes; and if you want to know more, he's the crossest old wretch that ever breathed. You'll find him out by that description; and so, your servant. [Exit.

Bel. Fitzherbert's ward! and this creature her servant! and lord Sparkle plotting to get her for a mistress! I am astonished! the very lady he this morning offered for my bride! Well, I must find Fitzherbert immediately. Lord Sparkle will perhaps think me guilty of a breach of honour; the imputation I must incur, that I may not be really guilty of a breach of [Exit. SCENE II. LADY BELL BLOOMER'S House. Enter FITZHERBERT, followed by a Servant.

humanity, and of gratitude.

Fitz. Tell miss Manuers I am here. [Exit Servant]

C

- I cannot be seriously angry with Julia; but I must take some revenge on her disobedience, before I acquaint her with the felicity that attends her. Come in, young Cornish, pray.

Enter PENDRAGON.

Pen. What, does the lady live in this fine house?

Fitz. Yes; but pray observe, that I don't engage she shall be smitten with you: I can go no further than to introduce you; the rest must depend on the brilliancy of your manners,

Pen. Ob, leave me alone for that! I knew how 'twould be if I once showed myself in London. If she has a long purse, I'll whisk her down to Cornwall, jockey lord Sparkle, and have the borough myself.

Fitz. A man of spirit, I see!

Pen. Oh, as to my spirit, that nobody ever doubted! I have beat our exciseman, gone to law with the parson; and, to show you that I did not leave my spirit in the country, since I came to London, I have fined a hackney-coachman for abuse.

Fitz. Very commendable! But here comes the lady.
Enter JULIA.

Mr. Pendragon, this is my ward; who, I am sure, will give your addresses all the encouragement I wish them. Pen. Servant, ma'am !-She looks plaguy glum.

Aside.
Aside.

Julia. I can scarcely support myself. Fitz. Pray, my dear, speak to Mr. Pendragon! You seem greatly confused!

Pen. Oh, sir, young ladies will look confused and embarrassed, and all that sort of thing, on these occasions; but we men of the world are up to all that. Julia. Heavens! is it to such a being I should have been sacrificed? [Aside. Pen. I see your ward is one of the modest diffident I am surprised at that; bred in high life. Fitz. Oh, now and then you find a person of that cast in the best company; but they soon get over it.

ones.

Pen. Yes, formerly I used to blush, and be modest,

and all that sort of thing; but if any one ever catches me modest again, I'll give 'em my estate for a pilcherd. Julia. Then it seems impossible-pardon me, sir! [To Fitzherbert] -that a union can take place between you and me; for I place modesty amongst the elegancies of manners, and think it absolutely necessary to the character of a gentleman.

Fitz. Well done, Julia! [Aside] Fie upon you to treat my friend with such asperity.

Pen. O, leave her to me, sir; she's ignorant, but I shall teach her. There are three things, miss, only necessary to the character of a gentleman: a good air, good assurance, and good teeth. [Grins. Julia. Doesn't his list want good manners, sir? [To Fitzherbert. Pen. Oh no, ma'am! if you had said good taste, it would have been nearer the thing; but even that is unnecessary. A gentleman's friends can furnish his house, and choose his books, and his pictures; and he can learn to criticise them by heart. Nothing is so easy as to criticise; people do it continually.

Fitz. You see Mr. Pendragon has information, Julia. I'll leave you a few moments, that he may unfold himself to advantage: and remember, if you refuse the man I design for your husband, you lose me.- -Keep it up with spirit; I'll wait for you below. [Apart to Pendragon] Now shall impertinence and disobedience correct each other. [Aside, and exit. Pen. Now to strike her with my superior ease. [Aside] So, miss, your guardian, I think, has a mind that we shall-in the vulgar speech-marry!

Julia. Well, sir! do you know what belongs to the character of a husband?

Pen. Ay! Do you know what belongs to being a wife?

Julia. I guess that to your wife will belong ill bumonr with you at home; shame with you abroad; in her face forced smiles; in her heart hidden thorns.

Pen. The devil! What, you have found your tongue, maʼam! Oh, oh, I shall have a fine time on't, I guess, when our connexion begins!

Julia. Our connexion! Pray, sir, drop the idea! I protest to you, that were it possible for me to become your wife, I should be the most wretched of women. Pen. Oh no, you wouldn't; I hardly know a wife who is not wretched.

Julia. Unfeeling man! Would you presume to enter into a state, to the happiness of which, union of soul, delicacy of sentiment, and all the elegant attention of polished manners are necessary and indispensible?

Pen. What's, all that? Union of soul! sentiment! attentions! That's not life, I'm sure.

Julia. I am not able to conceive by what witchcraft Mr. Fitzherbert has been blinded to the weakness of your head, and the turpitude of your heart. Tell him, sir, there is not a fate I would not prefer to that of being united to a man whose vice is the effect of folly, and whose folly is as hateful even as his vice. [Exit. Pen. Yes, yes, I'll tell, depend on't! Egad, she's a spirit! So much the better; more pleasure in taming her. A meek wife cheats a man of his rights, and deprives him of the pleasure of exacting her obedience. Let me see: vice-folly-impudence-ignorance. lgnorance too!

Re-enter JULIA.

[Exit.

Julia. What have I done? I dare not see my guardian; his displeasure will kill me. Oh, Belville, where art thou? Come and shield thy unhappy bride! What steps can I take?

Enter KITTY.

Kitty. Dear ma'am, I'm so grieved to see you so unhappy! If I'd such a cross old guardian, I'd run away from him.

Julia. The very thought which that instant presented itself to my mind. Have you not told me that some relation of yours has lodgings?

Kitty. Yes, ma'amn; the most elegantest in London. Julia. I don't want elegant apartments; but I wish for a short time to be concealed in some family of reputation.

Kitty. To be sure, ma'am; 'tis the most prudent thing you can do.

Julia. And yet my heart fails me.

Kitty. Oh, ma'am, don't hesitate; I'll go and pack up a few things, and call a coach, and be off, before lady Bell comes from court.

Julia. I fear 'tis a wrong step; and yet what other can I take? I dare not reveal my marriage, without the permission of my husband; and till his arrival, I must avoid both a guardian's anger, and the addresses of a lover. [Aside, and exit.

Kitty. I know not what she means; but there is some mystery I find. So there should be! If ladies had not mysteries, a chamber-maid's place would be hardly worth keeping. I have mysteries too, and she shall have their explanation from lord Sparkle. [Exit.

Enter LADY BELL BLOOMER, meeting CLARINDA. Lady B. Ha, ha, ha! my dear creature, what an embarras! Driving swiftly through the streets, lady Whipcord dashed upon us in her flaming phæton and six, gave a monstrous big Newmarket word to my poor fellows, and with infinite dexterity entangled the traces. It happened near your door; so I have taken shelter with you, and left her ladyship to settle the dispute with my coachman; ha, ha, ha! But why were you not at court to-day?

Cla. I had a teazing headach; but pray tell me what happened there.--Deuce take her, she looks as well as ever! [Aside.

Lady B. Oh, the ladies as usual, brilliant: nothing so flat as the men! The horrid English custom ruins them for conversation. They make themselves members of clubs in the way of business, and members of parliament in the way of amusement: all their passions are reserved for the first, and all their wit for the last. Cla. "Tis better in Paris.

Lady B. Oh, 'tis quite another thing! Devoted to elegance, they catch their opinions, their wit, and their bon mots, from the mouths of the ladies. "Tis in the drawing-room of madame the dutchess the marquis